Top 10 Reasons Men Don’t Want Sex

Do Not Disturb

Yes, it’s true, ladies. Sometimes even us males are not interested in don’t want to have sex. As it turns out it’s one of those “It’s not you, it’s me” deals. Classic! From WebMD:

  1. Medications. Antidepressants (SSRI-type) and anti-hypertensives (blood pressure medication) are often the culprit when a man has a lowered interest in sexual activity. These can also cause sexual dysfunction.
  2. Lack of sleep. When a man is in his teens or twenties, the opportunity to have sex will often overwhelm the desire to sleep. This is often true also when a relationship is brand new. But, as people and relationships age, sex can lose its compelling nature and a good night’s rest can be quite tempting.
  3. Hormonal levels. The most important physiological stimulant of sexual desire is testosterone. Many men are mistakenly sent to have a blood test for total testosterone when low libido is the issue. While that information might be interesting to know to have a full picture of a man’s hormonal levels, knowing the free testosterone level is much more relevant to how much sex he desires. Also, too much prolactin and SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) can suppress sexual desire. So when a hormonal reason is suspected, these are the blood tests to have (in order of importance): free testosterone, prolactin, SHBG, and total testosterone.
  4. Identity issues. When men feel uncertain about their role in the world, their desire for sex can dwindle. Depression may be linked to this, but isn’t always. Identity issues can crop up when: he has issues at work or is out of work, faces the death of an important family member, becomes disheartened about a formerly held strong belief, and questions his understanding of his own sexual orientation — to name a few.
  5. Turn-off to aspects of the sex. Some men will turn away from sex rather than have sex that is not fulfilling to them. Lack of fulfillment can be related to specific things that his partner does during sex or how he experiences his partner’s body. He may feel criticized or treated unfairly. It may just seem like too much “work.” He may have sexual interests that he knows or fears his partner may not share.
  6. Disagreements with one’s mate. When there are interpersonal difficulties between the members of a couple, many men will avoid sex or just plain refuse their partner’s advances. Some men punish their partner by withholding sex, but for others it’s not a matter of punishment, they just cannot muster sexual feelings when there are unresolved conflicts.
  7. Stress. Stress comes in many forms and may stem from: Financial difficulties, personal or family member illness, challenges at work, parenting dilemmas, and issues involving extended family members. Of course, there are many more sources of stress.
  8. Masturbation that replaces partnered sex. This is a hot topic since the advent of the Internet. It seems to some researchers in this field that many men who might not have sought out other sources of visual sexual stimulation (magazines, videos, movies) have found their way to locate sexual imagery online. For some couples, this can be a dilemma, particularly when the viewing of the images leads to masturbation, that then leads to less partnered sex. Less partnered sex feels like a blessing to some, but to others it is a frustrating and disappointing outcome.
  9. Fear of intimacy. Some men have relationships with their romantic partner that resemble that of siblings. The contact that they experience in their relationship takes the intimacy level up so high that adding sexual intimacy on top of that feels like an overload. Though it may be difficult to imagine that a person could have too much intimacy, it is the hunch of many sex experts today that this is a very common cause of declining sexual frequency in couples.
  10. Difficulties functioning sexually. Many men who have erectile dysfunction or believe that they ejaculate too soon — or too late (if at all), will avoid having sex with their partner. Rather than face what feels like another experience of “failure” in our performance-obsessed culture, these men choose to avoid being sexual at all.

Share This Post:
    • peg

      they don’t want sex because they are getting it somewhere else!!!!!!!!

    • Guildenstern

      I don’t think that getting it somewhere else really reduces men’s sexual interest. I agree above that it is more effected by the things in the relationship. I’m not sure I agree with the masterbation assumption either. It always seems to be more of an option when the partner is not available or interested. On thing that is not really addressed above is the communicaiton needed to openly discuss each other’s interests. Men can be concerned that things they are interested in will be seen as weird by their partner. It doen’t reduce the interest, but even though their partner may think its fine or like it, they are afraid to bring it up.

    • Samantha

      I’ve been going out with a man for just over 12 months.. we did not sleep together for the first 2 months; it took me a while to work out ‘his style’… I never was particularly confident with him… now we hardly ever have sex ( he avoids it) it makes me angry (he knows it) but I’m sure he masturbates (goes solo) I know he likes online erotica/soft bondage images ( I hate him looking – makes me feel even worse) I’ve tried to accommodate some of his tastes.. (dressing up & H.J.’s) but he still seldom initiates sex… but get this! He wants to marry me – has insisted on it, in fact – and I’m not really happy to. I divorced my last husband because of an unsatisfactory/boring relationship. I wanted a lover! Now I’m about to get… ‘just another husband’ (yawn!)

    • Tanya

      I am in a relationship with someone I am ready to let go of… in the next week! He sucks in the bedroom, and loves what I give him! He enjoys getting, but wont return anything unless I ask him too. I am just tired of dealing with him. It’s ashame. He worries about his body, 6 packs stomach, all of these superficial things that just don’t even bother me! His goal is to have this perfect body, but for me, it is like, What is a perfect body, when I can’t get on the receiving end to enjoy what he’s got! He isn’t the biggest down below, and he is insecure about that, but I am glad that he is not that big, because it is easier to take in orally. It is just a big mess, and I hate that I even started talking to this man. I think I am more frustrated at the fact that I am trying to figure out if he is gay or not. He doesn’t act gay, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t gay. Truly he has been a waste of my time and gosh, I have asked him “Is it me? Are you not attracted to me?” he says “No it isn’t you.” So of course, I think that it is something else. I don’t know…….could be down low gay man, or just doesn’t like sex, but he does masterbate. So maybe that’s it. JUST VERY FRUSTRATING and I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!

    • The Man

      What about a man who don’t want sex because his wife (who is on contraceptives, but there is always a risk) told him that she is totally against abortion and having a child is the last thing in the world he wants?

    • Shannon

      Men are very lucky. They have a whole assortment of goodies to indulge in, whereas us ladies have nothing of the kind. My ex told me he just wasn’t that interested in sex but he was on the net every other night banging one out over pics and videos of ladies getting more than me! F**k that! Seriously – ditch the boring dude buy a vibrator, put on 300 and sleep with a bunch of random, gorgeous men to satisfy your urges.

    • carmel

      hi,just had the same experience as tanya.the guy i had been seeing for 6months never wanted sex.said he didnt need sex to be in intimate.he attracts gay men wherever we go and he doesnt mind when they sit beside him and rub his face.i asked him was he gay and he went mad,i said because he wasnt intimate with me that maybe he was gay.he doesnt really want to talk to me now.i think i hit a nerve with him.

    • Karen

      I have been in a relationship for 5 years and we are in our mid lower to mid 50′s. When we met six was hot and good. Now when we are together which is only on weekends because of his job he enjoys us just being together and doing things. Yes I enjoy those things too but I want some intimacy like we had when we first met. It was so hot and good. I ask him if it is me and he says no it is him. I asked him was he watching porn and getting himself off and he says no. I am not stupid but I am lost. Could it be his age and not wanting sex?

    • Karen

      I have been with a guy for 5 years. It was hot and heavy at first. We have’t had sex in 3 years. He tries to get me off but then he is too tired to do anything. I tell him I want some intamacy in our relationship but he says it isn’t me it is him. I told him that he can’t keep giving me the same excuse he has been giving me for the last 3 years. He is either looking at porn, doing someone else or just really doesn’t have the desire. I have been there and don’t wnt to go there again. What are my options?

    • sarah

      Hey guys!
      Chill out!
      I’d been with my husband for a few years before i wondered why in the hell he would’nt (not couldn’t, in my head) have sex! I did the usual, bought the outfits, surprised him. He could raise a smile but the rest wasn’t in him! physically or emotionally in him! Do you know how that feels! What I found out, i will share… he worships the ground i walk on.. he loves me but… SSRI’s (anti depresants) are the evil culprit.. it can’t be helped.. they make you non sexual! don’t be afraid its not you! he still loves you.. till he comes off the drug you have to wait! If you have any better knowledge than me i’d be must grateful! Help me find my way back!

    • http://top10reasonswhymendontwantsex hillary bob

      i have been wit my man for almost 4 years now.we were highschool sweet hearts. he has only had one other partner other than me. and for me he was my first….when ever he wants sex he gets it. its been like that for 2 years now. but when i ever want it…he just pushes me so scared that were just so young and never really had experiance with other people. i was fine with him being the only man iv been with untill he stoped giving a dmn bout my needs!now i find myself wondering what its like with other men…and iv tried telling him and he just says he has alwys been like that and i knew from the getgo and that im trying to change him….is this normal for a young couple thas been together for 4 years?

    • candy

      Omg Hilary Bob, its the same with me…Im married and my husband had one other partner before me and he was my first. I tried everything dressing up etc and things will be good for awhile and then no sex for like weeks…It will be 8years that we have been together and we have been having this problem for the last 2yrs…I dont kno what to do i talk to him n then things get good n then back to boring again…i feel like this problem will make me end up leaving him in the future and that really scares me.please help ?

    • http://top10reasonswhymendontwantsex hillary bob

      this may sound awful to say but im so glad theres someone in the same boat as im wanting to study counsling….so im always trying to figure out the problem and how to fix it…and the main thing i think it is …just a communication problem.BUT!!!!!!!!! it makes it so hard when your the only one trying to fix it. you have to have ur partner want to try too…and thats were i get stuck. we can try and try and try but if they dont want to try ….then what do we do? and i think it extra hard for us because this is our first time even being in a sexaul relationship and every problem that comes up we dont exactly know how to handel it cause we have never been there….but i totally understand where you think it could result you leaving in the future…i think the same thing and it scares the hell out of me….

    • Hillary bobs husband

      Hi! Im hillary bobs husband and why can’t i have sex every single night of the week? Well im in college where i have to write ungodly amount of reports. And i also work 40 hrs a week. Just to let yall know. Um for the readers out there as a relationship progresses ‘sex’ will not always be a number 1 priority for a man. Yes sex in a relationship is very important, don’t get me wrong, but there are other things that in life that matter more. Waking up and going into work knowing that your next paycheck is already spent is very depressing and in my case im going to school to be a detective which is going to start me out at damn good pay. Knowing that my family will never go without is more important to me then my own selfish desires. Thanks.

    • AH

      I think Hillary’s bob’s husband need to get that stick out of his butt. Trolling her posts and responding to them is a low blow. My husband and I have been together since HS as well. Our sex life is fine (I was linked here by a friend a mine, so no sex issues from this side).

      The simple fact that your wife seems to think you have a problem with your sex life, is a problem. You seem to denounce any and all opinions about her side of it immediately, just look at your own post.

      Where in her post did she say finances (etc) didn’t come first? She didn’t. She simply said she was tired of having YOUR needs met, but not her own. Pretty selfish of you to a) have that attitude, and b) to not even address the issue with her. You should be taking care of HER needs as she is taking care of YOURS. (If you were MY husband/wife, I would obstain from sex until you understood that life is all about YOUR needs…it’s about OUR needs)

      I personally see no problem with having sex more than once a week with my husband IF we are both in the mood. IF NOT, then it doesn’t happen. With two kiddlings running around, obviously it’s not too much of a realistic goal with us both being tired all of the time.

      Also another note: You went from talking about how your finances and crap were important, then you jumped on her stating “these are the reasons I can’t have sex once a week an issue?”. Neither was the issue. The issue is she’s not getting much from sex, and wants more. You aren’t taking her needs into consideration, only your own. You should take some time to look into your relationship and your control issues. Way to treat your wife like crap.

    • Tired Man

      Kids. Bigger house. Luxury SUVs. Travel. Nannies. Custom kitchen. Gazebo. I want I want I want. The list of sh*t we men have to obtain is endless. And we’re working our butts off for it. We’re sitting here telling you women that we’re exhausted and tired of this “keep up with the Joneses” materialism crap and your amazing female powers of intuition say “No, that can’t be it, you’ve been supporting us for centuries!” Ah, HELLO? We’re men. You don’t need to INTERPRET WHAT WE SAY. It’s not a mind game! It’s not a puzzle! We don’t THINK like you – we sometimes tell it like it IS! There is a limit to how much a single man can do and provide. We end up feeling like a means to an end – a paycheck or a laborer. Sometimes a man just has nothing left to give. When my wife says she’s h*rny I wince and say… “Oh boy…here we go…” I can’t believe it myself. First you give us a ten page long list of things you want, they we go work ourselves to death trying to get promoted to pay for it all. Then you complain we’re distant (when we’re just exhausted) and that we SPEND TOO MUCH TIME AT WORK! Unbelievable. Then after years of this, you divorce us and say “Yeah he was a GOOD PROVIDER and got me EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR but he starved me emotionally! I didn’t care about all that material stuff (that I demanded and am taking with me) I wanted to be NURTURED! WHAT A LOAD OF TOTAL CRAP! This is a LIE North American women have been selling men for decades and men we need to call women on this BS!

      Tell you what. Next vacation, give your man two weeks alone to hang with other men, drink, play poker and sleep 10 hours a day. He’ll come back and give you sex like you’ve never had. He’ll go for hours. You’ll need a tow truck just to pull the sheets out of you butt.

      I think we men are just worn out trying to provide this lifestyle that everyone seems so entitled to these days! The stress of this life is WAY too HIGH! So if you don’t want your husband running off and slamming some chicky half his age because he “relates” to her, maybe ease off on the WHIPPING and “gotta get” lists a bit and give your man a chance to rest once in a while. The only reason why he thinks a gal half his age is “fun” is because being a MAN-SLAVE for an impossible woman his own age is NOT FUN. Does that clarify things a bit for you gals? When a man is reduced to a worker-provider-robot and can’t feel anything besides fatigue, why are you surprised when he’s not ALL THAT in the bedroom anymore? He was h*rny and performing when you MET HIM wasn’t he? What happened? THINK ABOUT IT. So stop being so selfish and materialistic and wanting all the crap your air-head girlfriends want. They don’t need half the crap they are lusting after and neither do you!!

      Ah. I feel much better now. Now I gotta get back to work. We need a new SUV. And that gazebo…

    • missy m

      I have been married for 8 months and have known my husband for 10 years. Sex was okay during our courtship, but now that we are married, there is no sex. He says that he cannot keep a hard on. He doesnot even try to have sex. We have discuss this over and over. He knows how I feel about the situation. LEvery night we lay in bed like two dead bodies. If I touch him he makes some excuse and turn over. I caught him looking at porn one night, but when I ask him about it now he says that he is not looking at it. I know he is lying. What can one d?? Need help!!!

    • tiredandstressed

      For me it is stress and I have gained alot of weight.

    • danielle

      Well..I to am in the same boat as everyone. Im in my EARLY 20′s and i have been with my Fiancee for 6 years now, and at first he LOVED having sex and could never get enough, but now its like we never have it. I know he works hard at work and is on his feet ALL day long, but even when i try to pleasure him, he resists. Its very strange. Its gotten to the point in which i ask him if he is cheating and getting it elsewhere. Ive almost given up hope. I cant deal with it anymore. :(

    • Hillary bobs husband


    • Jojo

      Lack of sexual attraction to the partner is a huge reason men don’t want sex with their wives. Boredom is another big reason. Men are turned on by sexual newness and variety which is why porn is a multibillion dollar business. Some men find it very difficult to function sexually with the same partner for years on end.

    • Juney

      Being too tired or stressed out to have sex is a poor excuse. If two people work together to overcome obstacles and daily stresses, it should never be an issue. I’m surprised that some men can even say they are “too tired” when most woman are the one’s working full-time jobs, raising the kids, cleaning, cooking, etc. It’s like having three jobs! I can’t remember the last time my guy came home and said “let me cook dinner” or “I’ll clean the house”. Yeah, and I get to kick back and watch the football game, right? I’m dreaming. Talk about a crock. Alot of women make just as a much of an effort as men do. Many of us are in the same boat. So if you’re a man with sexual issues because you’re tired or stressed, ask your wife how she handles it; we seem to be good at juggling everything.

    • wickedly sinful

      When a man dont want to have sex it is frustrating as hell, this is what I did , I took out a personal ad on a free date site, I responbed to every interest and searched for some cute guys a little younger than him. after on for a few weeks, I showed him all the men that were interested in me, and asked him if I needed to move on to one of these guys that were hitting on me on the internet. They say men are visual creatures, I showed him visually, I could do better than him, I told him I really didnt want to turn to one of these men but he wasnt leaving me many options. Then I moved out of our bedroom into the guest room for a couple of days. Well he got the picture I wasnt playing anymore. I think I hit a nerve with his male ego,we are now having great sex, and I deleted myself from that dating site. Its amazing how one might change if they think they are going to lose you. If this didnt work , I was going to leave him. I want to be sexually fulfilled and if he wasnt going to stand and deliver, I would find someone who would. He took notice and things are back on track. Its really sad I had to take it that far, but it worked. He cant get enough of me now, maybe it was all the men that took notice of me that made him change, I dont know whatever it was it worked and I am glad it did.

    • M’arch

      i’ve been with my wife for 10yrs, dated off and on for 2yrs, in the beggining it was always some lame excuse y we couldnt have sex(my lips r cold, its late, she has a headache, she has to work in the morning, she feels like natures coming, i dnt smell fresh, she’s hungry, i havent spent time with her, i dont help enough around the house after working 50hrs aweek & working on completeing my undergrad @ the time,i need to shave, we just had sex this morning, we just had sex yesterday, her 3rd cousins best friend dog died!!!) the list goes on!! i finally was defeated & stop initiating sex after about 8yrs of marriage and jus dealt with all the rejection. i definitely thought about cheating multiple times, but in my heart, i know thats jus a recipe 4 disater, cus i love my wife & kid. now in the past year she wants to have sex everyday! if she doesnt she gets upset & threatens to cheat on me & says it will be my fault!! i’m trying to tell her that its because of her i lost my sex drive and with her new attitude i feel so betrayed!! i think of all the women i turned down to remain a faithful spouse and not once threaten my wife with infidelity! i can’t believe what a selfish self-centered jerk she is being!!! and honestly for some strange reason i still care about her and am doing my part to help this situation, but at the end of the day i feel really hurt and missunderstud! :-(

      • Uncle Chris

        Hi M’arch,

        Some women in this world seem to think that exercising complete control over their man is the best thing in the world and they get this feed back from friends and family members. They feel that as women they are supposed to be served with a silver platter and that as soon as they click their fingers you come running. Well we know it doesn’t work that way but some how we’ve got to get this message into their head. Your wife knows that you love your child and so the message she is putting across to you is: Hey, I tell you when and how we can have sex and when I am ready you have to give it to me regardless!! It seems to me that your wife is dealing with low SELF ESTEEM and this is the number 1 reason why women behave this way. So her behaviour is to undermind your ego and self esteem and self respect too. If your wife is threatening to leave you then all I can say is be prepared because it sounds like she will so be strong. It seems as if she is looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship and trying to force the guilt onto you so that it under minds your self esteem. There is nothing wrong with you just keep going and remain strong always.

    • Fifisreality

      Well… can we really use one or two reasons to define why the indiviual we are with doesn’t want to have sex with us anymore? To all the boys and girls out there, if you really have such a problem with your wife/husband, tell them. Tell them LOUD and clear!! And be prepare to do what you need to do if they don’t listen to you. I think wicked sinful is right, do what you need to to make yourself happy. In the end of the day, you only have yourself. I am not here to tell you to be a selfish bitch, but if they love you and respect you the way you do to them. They should be more than understandable to your problem and needs. Don’t you think?

    • Pepe Le Pew

      My girlfriend has really stinky breath, I just can’t get past it. It will knock you out!

    • annon

      Dear All,

      The main reason for not wanting sex in the EX. My ex cheated on me and I have been unable to be intimate with another human being and fear I never will, if a woman touches me i feel like lashing back at her in retaliation. Women are the most repacious creatures.


    • Thanks

      Well I appreciate all of your postings…


      Because through all of this I have learned one very important thing:
      Never get married.

    • Rida

      When you are married life,you want everything going perfect,sex is the one part of power carry your life feel greet,i hate married life change after 10 togather years,i m divorse one time ,that because my husband cheating ,so from there,i met my husband now,but he also cheating on me a few years ago,i m get hart broken in pieces this moment how i can trusting all of man,but i stiil keep my self strong in this stuition,i have a lot of support from my family and friend to make me feel strong,i m not dying just incase life without husband,what i feel now no trusting ,respect ,i feel like in hel.

    • Why

      As if there isn’t enough problems in the world already.

    • Tam

      I am a female, 43, in a fairly new relationship (4-5 months). boyfriend (same age) recently moved in, only seems to want to have sex once a week! he is starting a new job, and is in training, and I know he is tired when he gets home, but its a little frustrating for me- I am VERY attracted to and turned on by him- everything is still “new” to me, and when we do have sex- its great for both of us! I would love to have sex 2-3 times a week.. is getting a little frustrating and I dont know how to bring it up with him without the relationship suffering.

    • Steven Leonard

      I am a 34 yr old guy. My wife and I have been married for 2 1/2 years. Our sex life used to be ok, but it took a turn for the worst in the past 6 months. I acclimate the loss of sexual desire to my stress level which were brough on by legal issues surrounding the loss of my children to the failures to identify parental alienation by many within the State of Florida Court system. And also her extramarital relationships which puts me in a position to fell less wanted and loved in the marriage. The wife claims that I reach climax too early which is true, but for me I just want to get it over with when we do have sex. I have tried to get her to go through counseling for our marriage, because there was a time when I was happy in the marriage and there certainly was no complaint about our sex life. However, she doesn’t want to see a sexologist, or even talk to the family dr. about our obvious disconnect in the bedroom. So what do I do? I love her, but in between holding a job that partially supports our family of 4, and looking for a way to transcend our financial woes, and the stress of legal issues and her infedilities, I feel like I am inbetween a rock and a hard place. I want to satisify her in every way imaginable, but I have lost hope, and the fire that we once shared has burnt out. Somebody please help!

    • Confused

      what if a guy tells you he doesn’t want to continue with sex anymore because he respects you too much.
      Can that be?
      My boyfriend told me that, he feels that sex is unnecessary.
      Were both 17.
      I mean, I can deal with that we don’t have to do it.

      I just want it. Though. :\.

    • Puzzled

      I have been seeing and talking with a guy for 3 months. We knew each other from High School and recently ran into each other.We are both married and in
      our early sixties. He is not happy because his wife spoiled that over 30 years
      ago. She pushed hinm aside for their daughter, I am in a similar situation.
      My spouse cannot have sex due to health reasons. However for several years
      before that we never had sex. I am a sexual person and feel that there is
      something very important missing. The man I am seeing shows me wonderful
      affection and says he loves me. He says he can still have sex. However, as
      of this date,we have not had sex. We have loved and petted, but no actual sex.
      Do you think he is getting it from another woman? I am fairly attractive,
      petit and am always clean and smell fresh.

      Ijust feel we need to have sex to make our relationship better.

      • V

        I would make my wife suffer if i was married for 30 years and my wife was cheating on me because i can’t have sex. Oh she would pay so much for that. I would make her life hell then leave her in hell.

    • Hurt…

      I never do these kind of things but…I’m really at a loss at what to do! Been married 28 years this April…my husband and I haven’t had sex the past five years dang it’s very frustrating!!! I asked him if it was because he couldn’t or just didn’t want to he looked all funny and said he just didn’t want to…I felt like my heart feel to my feet! The funny thing is…is that he loves me he would moved heaven and earth for me…I know this but he has no idea how much it hurts me not to have a sexual relationship!!! Can’t leave him I love him too much! I hate to think the rest of my life is gonna be like this!!! Oh yea he had his hormones tested and they said it was fine…I don’t think they did their test right!

      • Hope

        I almost had tears in my eyes reading this….you just took the words out of my mouth. Same story, I love my husband to death and he loves me so much but sex is not there. Just don’t understand if he loves me than why he doesn’t feel like expressing it sexually. He always uses the excuse of being stress but even we’re on vacation he doesn’t want to have sex with me. I know for fact he is not cheating on me becasue we are always together. I would never cheat on him but it’s so hard I have needs and I can’t leave him. I can’t imagin my life without him. Don’t know anymore!!!

    • Lizzi

      I’ve been married to my husband for 6 yrs. We were both virgins on our wedding night. Our sex life is absolutely awful in my opinion – last month, we only had sex 3 times.
      This is absolutely crushing me – I’ve spoken to my husband on several occasions on the matter, but it doesn’t seem to be sinking in exactly how this is making me feel.
      He is a hard worker, and can work long hours, but so do I. If he is not working, he is watching tv shows he downloaded on his laptop. I feel that he wants to catch up on his tv shows more than he wants to to make love to his wife. At this point in time, I do not want to discuss my feelings with him anymore, because I feel like i’m nagging him now. At first, I thought the reason for his lack of interest was the extra weight that i put on last year. I’ve managed to lose all the weight and now look better than ever, but he still shows no interest. When we do have sex, it feels to me that he is rushing, like it is a chore that he just wants to get over with, and I’m usually left unsatisfied. I do not want to complain about my dissatisfaction, because I do not want to make him feel insecure about his performance, and maybe make things even worse. I know that he loves me, but I feel like i’m at a dead end. I will not cheat on him ever, but at 27 yrs of age, I find it difficult to imagine that I might feel this bitter for the rest of my married life.

      • A

        I have the same issue,it sounds like I am reading my own story.I don’t know what to do either

    • Jill

      I’m sorry if any of you are married because you felt you had to. The societal myths we’ve been taught are ruining lives. I could practically have a guy beat me physically and my mother’s view would be, “Well, sometimes we have to overlook some things.” That’s an exaggerated example, but you know what I mean. We are supposed to WANT to get married, have children, have a career. How boring. We were not put on this earth to be miserable. We aren’t born monogamous. We can be monogamous for decades at a time, however. Congratulations to couples that seemingly have it all. I hope you’re not showing the world a facade in order to uphold the societal myth. Our endless search for that “special someone” is pathetic. I believe there’s lots of someone specials out there for each of us. Our societal myth is turning our male compatriots into robots that women view as unempathetic, unsympathetic and even abusers. We’ve screwed things up so bad and now are wondering why we have so many problems in this “modern” society. I feel some compassion for men that got married, had children, their wife is now fat, have a “great” career that drains the livin’ shit outta them. Ladies and gentlemen, hear this: We are in this shit together. Start thinking primitively. We’re born to breed and provide food, shelter and clothing to the offspring. If it sounds like any common animal, such as a cow, that’s because it is. We are the dummies that modernized a world that otherwise would have been fairly simple. I often joke about the fact that I have my retirement planned out. I plan to head off into the Alaskan wilderness in my old age with a cane in one hand and a rifle in the other. If the bear gets me, so what. The fact of the matter is, freedom — full freedom consists of jail or death in today’s society. Can you really wander off and live off the land now? Not if you’re on someone else’s property and not if you don’t have in-door plumbing. You will be committed or killed. Thank you very much for getting to the end of this comment. As you’re commuting to work or lying next to a “partner” you have little in common with, take comfort in the fact that this is the life you made for yourself. What does this have to do with our pathetic sex lives? EVERYTHING

    • miss redskin

      i have been with my man 3yrs now n in the begg first 6mths sex was great, but then his nasty habits started to take root, ie:staying up till 2am every night to watch film after film, which by the way he has seen before, to play games on net n to download stuff, i am fed up with him not being sexually interested in me n it breaks my heart when i do make a verbal mood n he knocks me back, what woman wants to have to ask her man to make love, he should just deal with it n take me,2-3 times a week would b nice, but i’ll b lucky if he gives me twice a mth, he has no erection probs, but thinks what floats his boat is not me but, 20fags a day, tv till 2, internet for1 n plenty l8 nights, he is fantastic in every other way possible but the bedroom, i hve askd him to go doc, see a sex councilor n he refused or lies n says yes but never does, he has seen me talk to him n when i am @ breaking point, but nothing. He opens up 4 that day n thats it, i have warned him of an end result, me cheating purely 4 sex as i have needs n i think it falls on def ears, the really bizzare thing is i am 6mths pregnant n dont know how he managed to bag that 1 when he is allergic to sex, some1 help

    • wake up

      From the comments here it sounds like many people are stuck in some pretty traditional gender roles within their relationships. There are numerous studies about how such rigid roles can be harmful to romantic relationships and breed resentment. I don’t want to tell other people how to live but examining some of the expectations you have for your partner might be helpful.

    • Chris

      I totally agree with the comment from Jojo. Sometimes when some women get married they all of a sudden get into ‘get fat mode’ which breaks their partners/husbands heart because one of the reasons why they got into a relationship with you is because you are beautiful and slim and take care of yourself. I know it is hard for some women but if you could keep yourself slim whilst being single then all the more so now that you are in a relationship. Also, one of the contributing factors why some men don’t want to have sex is because she treats him like an idiot and expects him to do everything around the home including looking after cars etc and then after all that enslavement and no consideration of his feelings or acknowledgement of what he has done she demands sex and expects him to keep it up while she just sits around and do nothing maybe cook a meal here and there and that’s it!! Another reason is family. The only women in a mans life that has remain loyal to him is his mother and his father. But how sad it is when a woman just wants to spend time with her family alone and is not willing to communicate with the husband/partners family this is heart breaking for a man. What some women don’t realise is this: If you claim to love your partner and don’t want to spend any time with his family can you really say that is love or that you are showing that you love him? They have a saying: If you don’t like the tree then how can you like the fruit?? the tree – (the Parents) is the main reason why your partner/husband is alive on this earth and if you can’t show your appreciation to his family for making your husband/partner for the person he is today then you are not really in love with him I know there is personality differences but we can all put our grievances to one side and enjoy life after all you are family. So the next time women if your relationship is at breaking point and he doesn’t want to have sex with you maybe check your self and see if you are fulfilling his emotional needs, helping to keep the home clean and keeping yourself nice, slim and fit for your husband/partner and believe me you will see the the impact it will have on not just your sexual relationship but the love you have between yourselves.

    • Brandy

      My boyfriend of two years is no longer interested in sex. This past month we had sex 1 time and that was in a rush because he had to go to work. What makes it harder is that we work opposite shifts so if we don’t do it during the weekend then it will be another week before we get a chance. Even with our busy schedule, there is plenty of time on our weekends. We have no children and have lots of time. It just seems that the time gets used up watching TV or drinking coffee or some other useless activity. When we travel we absolutely never do it. Even if we are staying in a romantic hotel it never happens. It took me a while to get used to romantic vacations with NO sex. He doesn’t mind paying the tab. If he could only do it with me once a week I’d be so happy. I miss the intimacy that we had. Our first six monthes were wonderful and I hang onto those memories. For a period of time he talked about getting married and I was very excited about the idea but now I am having second thoughts. At least we’re not married so I have the option of moving on. In fact, I’m already peeking at the dating sites. I really want deep roots with one man … a life with a plan … not a different partner every month. It really hurts me deeply because I love him so much but can’t handle the rejection. Last year I bought a beautiful sex book with photos of positions. It lays on shelf and gathers dust … a lost dream. I find myself masturbating alone most of the time. Sometimes my appetite is so healthy that I do it several times a day. It helps get me through the lonely weeks. For any guys reading this … No, I am not FAT … I am still beautiful … not all men are dumping their gals because they got fat! :)

      • OLV

        This is a reply to Brandy. Can I ever relate to your story! The first couple of years were mind-blowing. His desire was three times per day, every day. It has diminished to once or twice per week. He also does-it-himself even though I am always available to him. I would leave him if I knew he would not suffer. I have come to the conclusion that female desire is different than male desire. Males nuture millions of sperm cells for three months. Women are believed to born with all of their eggs and nuture them all their lives. Plus every cycle women nuture one mature egg. This has lead me to believe that women have longevity of desire for one man at a time and men have a shorter term desire for novelty. My advice to other women would be to find happiness in other ways in the relationship and in their own lives or to find another relationship but to know that at some point the new relationship may have rejection and loss of interest in sex because men may be made that way. In essence, women rock and men do not.

      • Kath

        I am going through the same exact thing right now. We have only been together since jan. When we first met he wanted to kiss me & have sex constantly, as soon as we moved in together it all changed. we love each other so much & i would marry him, but i have second thoughts about marriage because this is a real problem. I dont know what changed all of a sudden, but the rejection is killing me. I know how much he koves me, he says its not me, but i just dont get it. & yes he does have medical assistance for it, which does not bother me at all, its natural to need meds at his age, but he still makes up excuses & mostly just avoids it for the most part. I dont know what to do, i get so resentful.

    • Nat

      My wife and Ihave been married 43 years and approx 28 years with out sex. Ever since we were married sex was uninteresting, boring, uneventful. Way to much work for so much effort. Wife likes sex and I just did it because. Developed E/D early with nothing to correct the issue. Also developed depression and high blood pressure and now taking meds. I have no libido at all for which I’m very happy . I thanked my doctor for the meds. I’m sure my wife still would like to have sex, and I told her don’t look at me, I can’t and I wouldn’t if I could. It may sound mean but I really don’t care about her and sex.

    • Walt McGee

      Is it possible the wife/gf has just gotten fat? It’s the biggest turn off in known to man. A man will drop anything to sleep with an attractive woman.

      Have you ever looked to see if you are just plain jane?

    • Emilda

      If you are young and beautiful and as sexuality healthy as you described yourselves, i would stronly recommend you think the matterr over twice. I have been married for 18 years and still feel young and beautiful and husband is what they call a sex anorexic. It hurts! and it gets worst! and believe there will be other issues that would even affect your children due this dysfunction.

      • lisa

        Have you considered taking a lover? I’m afraid that it would only complicate matters, yet the more resentful I become about having to give up sex “til death do us part” this seems like a viable option.

    • edward nelson

      i am married the same lady for the last 30 years. but for the last 15 years we had sex ony
      three times and for the last six years none at all. is it common for couples not having sex
      for long time. i have no sexual problems; my wife also don’t have. but we have deep
      personal problems. i am determined not to take the initiatve; i think my also have the same attitude. you have any advice to break the ice cold attitudes

    • sara

      I have been married for 23 years. .we started having sex less and less at first it was due to injuries and stress and so forth…however now it has been almost seven years and no husband states he has no desire for sex but I do not beleive that..guys please help me out here..If you love your wife would’nt you want some type of intimacy in your relationship? even though you had no desire for sex would’t you want to at least try to satisfy herdesires and needs? I am not sure what to do here I am now questioning if he even Love me anymore ..oh yeah by the way everyone around us says we have the perfect marriage and see how much he loves me…they don;t hear some of stuff being said to each other…yes he has said some pretty mean things lately…,but, I am also guilty of the same..I really feel that I am losing it right now…feel so rejected, unwanted, worthless and so on..any advise please help me I love my husband…Please any advice you guys can give on what I can do and how to approach this situation I feel that i have tried everything..

      • Russ

        Sara, I have been married for 16 years now and I am in the same boat as your husband. I don’t know why I don’t want to have sex I just don’t. Is your husband seeking any kind of help and if so what kind is it. I am 41 years old with no job and going to school what is my problem why don’t I want to have sex and its not just my wife other women don’t interest me either. NO I am not gay because men definitely do not interest me at all. My wife feels the same way you do, but I can’t help it It’s like some form of mental block.

      • john doe

        russ my wife has just taken the kids and left me due to only having sex once a month i am devastated , my reason is no. 10 i dont feel im very good at it these days and i can only last a couple of mins.everything else in our lives was perfect we both are very successfull and wealthy. im 40 and weve been together since school.
        i cant help thinking how selfish she is being on me and the kids , i love her dearly but struggle to make the “first move”.
        any advise from anybody would be welcomed.

    • Carrie

      Ooo i know the feeling! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now! We are so inlove. The thing is is i guess im a bit of a nympho and hes not. I was never this way til i got with him. He makes it so amazing that i constantly want it. We used to have sex multiples times a day. Then he went to jail for 6 months and is home and were lucky to have it once a week. I know im lucky to get it once a week. He tells me that he just never was interested in sex. He said the reason why we had sex so much before he went in was because he knew we wouldnt have it for awhile. I never have the problem getting him, it takes me a second and i can have it up. I just get rejected by he dont feel like it. He does smoke and he has been very stressed cause he cant find a job, we also live with my dad. SO i figure these could be some reasons. It just kinda sucks, im very outgoing i try to wear sexy outfits, want to have sex in very secluded sexy places. I get turned down every time. I just dont get it their our times he wants sex all the time then times he never wants it.

    • lisa

      I am getting married in 9 days to the love of my life. He has already let me know that it will be a marriage without sex or intimacy. He just doesn’t find me physically attractive. While other men do find me desirable, I don’t really want anyone else. We have been together for a year now and I have managed to maintain my monogamy/celibacy. Until last week, I held on to the hope that I would someday find the secret formula to make him want me like I want him. Now, with the wedding looming in the very near future, I discover that there is no hope at all of being the person he needs for sexual fulfillment. He said that he prefers that I not take a lover, and I would really be hurt if he gave someone else what I want so badly. However if he has a normal sexual drive and can’t satisfy that with me, I could hardly deny him that important part of life. This is information that I wish that I would have had before we spent our life savings on a big wedding. I know that I would still love him but it won’t feel like a “real” marriage without that aspect included. Maybe I am being shallow and selfish. He is an amazing person and I am so lucky to have him in my life, yet I am still troubled about our future as partners without benefits.

    • KJ

      If only my girlfriend had the libido that some of you do.
      I’ve been going out with her for almost five years now, and I can count on two hands the number of times we’ve had actual intercourse in that time. We fool around occasionally, touching and the like, but very rarely ever anything more. She says she’s just not that into it, shouts at me for pressuring her if I ever bring it up. I’ve told her it’s hurting me now and making me feel less and less of a man, and less attractive, yet she says it’s not me. How can it not be me? There must be something putting her off sex with me! I’m not even a small guy, average but not small. I now have no confidence in the bedroom, no confidence in myself and image issues. All because she doesn’t want to sleep with me regularly. Any ideas?

    • Stella

      Honey wake up. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. If this man can’t appreciate you then move on. There are others out there. Also a life of no sex. You can’t say you can deal with it. What about 5 years from now? Will you be willing to be faithful when you want to be held or touched. What a selfish person to ask for a life partner and then won’t provide intimacy in the relationship. Get rid of him and then move far, far away.

    • Angela

      I have a very similar situation. We started dating back in February but sex has not played a big part in our relationship, which is something new for me. His skin is so extremely sensitive and just by one touch he jumps; except when we’re intimate. Therefore, he is always the one who starts something… and when I try to be playful he does not like it. I am about 9 years younger than he is, so this is another reason why he may be that way. I’ve tried to make it fun but its not working and he does not like to talk about it. I don’t understand why? As far as I know he is not taking any medication for this. He was stressed for a while trying to look for a job, and now the excuse is that he is way too tired after work and his work is stressful. He wants to get married and have children some day but how is this going to happen without intimacy? I love him and he loves me, but I’m just confused…. I’ve never felt like this before and I do get resentful as well.

    • drklnk22

      WOW; my wife and i have been together for about 8 years

    • drklnk22

      and we were hot and heavy for the first couple YEARS, i’m not joking for years we had sex every time we got in contact with eachother. though, after the first 3 years the sex slowed down… and then went to once a month (we realized that the “shot” was culpable” so she got off the shot and we got back to good stuff…. and then …. the past 4 years… once a month if that
      This is where this comes in; it applies to me especially; specifically the last 6 parts; they all apply to me. I love my wife and am still attracted to her but i just don’t want to have sex with her; she practically begs me and i just (FOR NO GOOD REASON) just don’t want to. with the kids it just seems too much work to get alone, i have subliminal resentment that makes me feel like “she’s the boss” and i don’t feel like a man, though she WILL do whatever I want; i just don’t MAKE her, and we don’t sleep together (literally) because i snore; in fact i think that is the biggest part (hard not to have sex when you wake up next to a warm body)

      • James

        I love my wife very much. Been together for 7 years, no kids. I love her but I am not interested in having sex with her. It feels like a chore. I feel bad about it because I realy do love her. The scary thing is that Its not that I have lost my interest in sex. I still love sex and think about it alot. Its just that sex with my wife doesn’t interest me. I see so many women out there whom I would love to sleep with. I don’t love them. I might not even know them, but I wish I could be with them. Its just purely physical. Many I do know, I know very well that I would not want to be married or committed to them because we would just be all wrong for each other, a bad combination. Maybe I don’t even think that we would have a very good relationship if it were real, but that doesn’t change the fact that I really wish we could sleep together. On the other hand I love my wife, I actually enjoy our time together, but I just am no longer interested in sleeping with her. It doesn’t make any sense to me. All that I can think of is that I have always felt that sex and intimacy don’t really go hand in hand to me. One is physical and one is love. I am always astonished that people can say that they have been married for …number of years and they only want each other and still find each other sexy. That makes me feel like there is something very wrong with me. And no, introducing new aspects to our relationship doesn’t really work. You can role play all you want, It doesn’t change my lack of interest. I have always craved that ‘new relationship’ animalistic feeling of mystery and newness much more then I have ever craved that intimacy feeling of being with that special someone which I read so much about from many people (mostly women). I feel so bad for my wife. I feel less of a man because I have to force myself to be ‘in the mood’ for her, I am not interested in sex with her which, as a man, is disturbing because we all know that men are supposed to be ready and willing at the drop of a hat. I feel bad because I feel like I am betraying or lying to my wife. I just don’t understand why I can feel like I have such a wonderful enjoyable time with my wife(relationship wise), yet I can’t feel that physical attraction anymore. And why do i feel that desire to sleep with other women, even if I have no interest in a relationship with them. I guess I can’t have everything.

    • drklnk22

      i love her, and i want to have sex with her; but it’s disheartening that i feel like it’s just not exciting; in fact i think about just grabbing her and ripping her clothes off and having my way with her (which i KNOW she would love) but i just always think “it’ll be too much work/ she’ll be upset/ the kids will find us/ ) i guess i’m just not turned on anymore

    • bigb

      I’m a robust 37-year-old guy and I’m bored with sex and don’t seek it out any more. Yah, it feels good, and I’ll do it if the opportunity drops in my lap, but frankly I’ve had sex thousands of times in my life. Been there done that! The things I most enjoy in life require my energy and focus during the day, and staying up late to have sex negatively impacts my enjoyment of those things. The worst thing is my buddies trying to set me up with fat, old, and/or ugly chicks to screw so I can “get back in the saddle”. Duh, Giselle Bundchen could be lying naked in my bed and if I was too tired or busy at the moment, I couldn’t care less about her.

    • metoo mahoney

      dont get married to him- he’s gay

    • Helen

      I have a boyfriend who only touch me once a month…..when we are together he tells me how good I am & when we sit together he tell me he want me right now but his always tired, am confused & am not too sure if I shld spend the rest of my life with him because if I have to wait for sex in month or 2months is just too ridiculous….I love him & he loves me too so what shld I do????

    • lonely

      Here is a question for you men. During my pregnancy my partner stopped having sex with me. I kept thinking after the baby is born… its been almost 3 months – and nothing. Ive been losing the weight , and even though I am still very attracted to him (he also gained with me) he has not lost any weight. He says he is just not into sex any more. I have to be honest after over a year of rejection I really at this point am sickened by the thought of us being intimate now. So here is the question How many of you stopped having sex while your partner was pregnant? What about after wards? I was hit on more than ever during my pregnancy and lately a lot as well. Ladies have any of you went through this? Has anyone ever broken up over this issue? I feel guilty for admitting this but If something does not change I will be leaving.

    • Hesaysitshim

      Hello ,
      My boyfriend says he has had some bad experiences with sex and after being alone for so long 4 yrs, he has lost interest in sex. He says he enjoys it when we do it. And says he used to like it and be horny all the time. but now, He always finds an excuse or finds a way to change the subject, like tickle me when i try to turn him on. He never wants to be intimate with me. He says he loves me sooo much but cant find time in his not very busy schedual to touch me or try to make an effort to show me how sexy he says he thinks i am. I find myself quite sexually attractive i love my body and i get very turned on when he is around just the mere thought of sleeping with him gives me an orgasm. Help Me! Hes says its not me, Its him. He refuses my touch and now wont even cuddle with me unless i ask him too even then sometimes not. I find myself crying every so often when it gets too much, usually in the middle of the night where he will not catch me. Ive discussed my feelings with him. I just want to know how i can approach the situation on a delicate level and bring out the intimate partner i fell in love with again.

    • Lonely

      Well to the guys who have comment, your stuff is bs. I’ve been working my ass off while my lover tries to find his job and I still never get sex or any pleasure. We’ve been together for two years and the first year and a half we never went a day without having sex. Then after going long distance to make him happy and his family happy f$”$cked that up. At first it was every couple weeks now I’m lucky if i get it once a month. I also hear the whole “I want to marry you” thing to. I’ve tried asking him why things are different and I’m tired of getting bitched out about it. I’m thread of having to do all the pleasing and getting shit all in return. And now that he finally has a job sex will be gone completely. So don’t give me the whole females giving you a list of things we want, it bs and not all of us give list, stop being stereotypical. We work just as hard. I’ve gone as far as sexy outfits, bj while traveling, and still nothing. And it pisses me off, and the whole “it’s not you it’s me” line is lies. Man up and tell us what the real issue is

      • Harold

        your saying “Its not you it’s me” is just a lie? Im a man that has not been sexually aroused for over 2 months now. If your BF has the same problem as me and just “feels empty”… just let him be, keep the communication up, support him and dont ever, EVER get in his way of doing things or you may spoil it all.

        its really good to see a woman trying her best for her BF, but if you want to help him. let him be “alone” for a while… don’t leave his side, but be there when he wants you to stay there.

    • metal gea

      what about ethical reasons?

    • Ken

      Wow. I just finished reading “Sex at Dawn” and all these complaints make so much sense. We’re not evolved for monotomy sheeple: why does the idea of extramarital sex connote “cheating”? Why do we feel comfortable with the idea of possessing our loved ones or being possessed by them physically? why do we exalt choice in every area of our lives except our sexual partners? Please read Sex at Dawn before you say your vows….

    • BryneenGary

      The reasons listed makes Alot of sense

    • cinderella23

      may be they have some mental or physical dysfunctions.

    • Harold

      I feel like im described in more ways than one

    • James

      To be honest, I like sex a lot. Why turn away from it, even when it is not very good?

      Sex-lifestyle documented at

    • laura

      i been with my bf bout 3yr nw. me nd my bf use 2 ave sex when we frist meet bt nw we dnt ave it anymre maybe cuz e old than me im 24 yr nd e 46yr. we do play around with toys bt nothing eles all e wan is bj . when i ask y e dnt wan sex e wont tell. i ave try eveything bt nothing wrks. wot can i do. x

      • V

        You should learn how to Spell. Thats what you can do to help yourself.

    • John

      Typical self serving responses from cynical
      Americans. And you really wonder why most of your mariages fail?

    • Eric

      I have my ideas what is wrong, but I could never bring them up. When we were dating, years ago, about all we did was have sex. Then came our son, and it went down to maybe once a month, to once every two months, to once a season etc…

      She just didn’t want it. She also never lost the weight, which I’m sure didn’t help.

      Now it’s been two years (our son is 13), and quite frankly I don’t want it from her anymore. She’s been acting like she wants it lately, I just ignore the issue because I have no desire towards her. I was starved for years, I just don’t care. I want to, because I know it’s got to be hard on her, I just can’t seem to get attracted to her. Maybe I should just take ex to give her what she needs.

    • Kaz

      I have been with my bf for three years same old we had a brilliant sex life for the first year an half pushin two years bu since then his just not interested its not always on offer cuz we dont live tagever his styl goes on porn sites an. What ever so he obvi styl has a sex drive an also this time last year i caught him on datin sites one of them met up an fuk so am i just being stupid or is it common sense he just dont want sex with me cuz more then likely his gettin it else where :/ i love him an wana be with him bu im not satified an i dont trust him its gettin to the point i wudnt even want sex with him cuz i feel like his been else where an even if he hasnt his made me feel so shit about my luks an just myself in general an the worse of it i carnt even talk to him about it cuz im always moanin an his dus want sex with me bullshit i know shall i just cum to terms with its just me he dont want in that way an leave or is it fixable?

      • rag

        I don’t know you…. but I would leave you too.

      • V

        Good god learn to spell.

    • Nene Garin

      Hi ! I gave birth 3 Months ago. My Husband and i Never had Sex Since we found Out I was pregnant until this Time. I feel so Bad . I did everything to be more attractive and a Bit naughtier but Nothing was working. I feel so stupid because of the situation .

    • stewart

      hello everyone am jennet Stewart. if i refuse to share this
      testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much
      whom might have similar problems, my husband left home after a little
      misunderstanding and never came back home at first i thought it was a
      joke he left me for his mistress outside, all dis happen in February 1st
      last year i am sharing this testimony because valentine is back again
      and so many men will live their wife and celebrate valentine with there
      girl friend, i complained to my very good friend she told me she was
      having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to Prophet Osaze
      a specialist doctor who specializes in bringing back broken homes and
      broken marriages Prophet Osaze cast a spell for me in February 10th
      surprisingly my husband came home February 12th apologizing that i
      forgive him that this will never happen again. this i will never forget
      Prophet Osaze same my marriage his contact address is

      • citizen


    • R.Weatherford

      Just in case anyone actually reads this dribble. Marriage and commitments are HARD! They take WORK! And anyone telling you to leave because you “deserve” better needs to shut up. No one deserves anything in this world. If you love someone, you love them unconditionally. You must take the good with the bad if you are to make it work. I’m not saying if you find out he/she is an axe murderer you should stay. But put these petty self absorbed issues away. They are not healthy and you will never be able to tell someone you really love them until you do. And yes I’ve been with my wife for 20 yrs and we are celebrating our 17th anniversary this year. And NOBODY has as much sex as they did when the first get together. Your relationship evolves if you allow it to mature. Nuff said. Bye!

      • cassiemae

        Love your comment! Straight to it, some people need the hard truth! Women are for sure guilty of over-thinking and self absorption. I have been! I like your approach

    • monica

      Hello viewers, i am ANDERSON by name and i want to testify the goodness of

      a great spell caster in my relationship. I have been into a relationship

      for two years. i so much cherish my girl friend to an extent that i

      proposed to her. 3 months after my proposal to her, she saw her old time

      boyfriend and she fall in love with him, a friend of mine told me that she

      saw my girlfriend with her old time boyfriend, son i had to call my

      girlfriend and ask her, she agreed and came to my house to return my ring

      back to me. ever since then i have been begging her to come back to me. i

      have tried my possible best for her to come back to me. i have visited many sites and i have contacted 4 spell caster, but they all took my money and none of them was able to help until when i met a man called

      dr smart it took him 2 weeks to convince me. so something just run through my mind, i said let me just give a trial, so he ask to send him the money for the items and i did. he told me that i should wait for 7 days. 4 days later an unknown number called me so i found out that it was SANDY my girl friend, i was even shocked because the spell was even faster then i thought. my girl friend is now with me.,i believe he can help you in your situation…

    • ethereal

      I have this same issue. I have been in a relationship with my bf for nearly four years. At first he wanted me all the time several times a day, but it’s not just that I miss…..I miss the way he used to look at me, I miss how excited he used to be to just be able to talk to me, I miss his kisses, our hand holding….pretty much every thing that happens in a healthy relationship. It was not even a year when he broke up with me, I was devastated. I had never felt a pain like that before in my life, I was a shell of a person after that. After a month or so he called me and we got back together I was so happy I had the love of my life back. But from then on the honeymoon ended, he would be constantly breaking up with me and getting back together with me. He would use my secrets and insecurities against me in fights and I sat back and took it. I believe I love a memory now. His ex wife was a major issue, he even went as far as asking her for nude photos hours after we had broken up. I caught him on dating sites, saw his youtube account and saw him flirting there. I just shut myself off emotionally. Our sex life died, I was the one initiating sex and he has just rejected me so much I don’t even feel like having sex any more. I can’t even masturbate. I just don’t feel any thing. In the hours we do see each other we barely speak to each other. I’ve tried my best as a gf, I stuck by him through every thing and forgave him. I even went as far as doing even kinkier acts in the bedroom and still to no avail. He pushes me away or laughs it off. I’ve given up. I don’t know why I have stayed with him this long. I guess it’s because he was my first serious boyfriend I was eighteen and he was twenty five when we met. I’ve always been the one trying to make it work and he has always pushed me away or fought with me. I believe it has a lot to do with his ex wife, or porn maybe both? I’ve never cheated on him, never looked at other men, never touched, kissed or thought about other men. I don’t know if he loves me and I don’t know any more if I love him. I know some comments here are saying stick by that person but I’m telling you know it should be depending on the circumstance. You want some one who loves and appreciates you. Some one who wants you body, mind and soul. If they have a psychological issue or an issue out of their control don’t hold it against them, but if it’s really affecting your relationship and you can’t accept it you should leave while you can. Another reason is he could be in a emotional relationship with some one else, I believe an emotional relationship is stronger than any thing sexual, your emotions affect every aspect of you as person. I don’t know i’m no expert but from my experience I would say to those with a lingering bf or gf to save themselves from becoming emotionally wrecked or emotionally dead and to those with amazing bf’s gf’s husbands or wives etc etc make it work because it’s not every day you find some one you love.

    • !!!

      I think that Nr. 1 should be that he is not attracted to the woman he doesn’t want to have sex with. Painful, but awfully true.

    • Oliver

      I hate to admit it but… me and my hubby have been married for 25 years. We were never blessed with children. Now that I think back maybe we should have adopted.
      When we were having issues they did not have invitro, surrogate, or any of those options. Hubby usually falls asleep on the couch about 6:00 pm. I’m a night owl.To this day he’s still 6′ 2″ and shrinking (that’s what old people do) I’m about 140 lbs. 4′ 12″ trying to get him up into bed is impossible without waking him up and then he gets grouchy. So I throw a blanket on him kiss his forehead and go to bed. Our nightly ritual does not mean that
      we don’t have sex or that either one of us are being selfish. It is just the way we are. We’ve had to leave everything in God’s hand and there is a reason for us not having children and that we’ve never conceived. At this stage of my life I cannot imagine having
      children. When we want to go somewhere we go! We want to leave for dinner at
      8:00 pm we don’t need a baby sitter. Catch a late movie, we’re there. I know there must be a reason for God’s plan for us and why we never had children. Right now I’m just happy we are where we are in life. In the mean time…. Hubby is sleeping on the couch snoring at this very moment and I’m getting ready for my bowl of ice cream (which I have every night) and get ready to go to sleep myself. God bless all!

    • hug

      i just want to share my experience and testimony here,i was married for 9 years to my wife and all of a sudden,another man came into the picture which was her ex boyfriend in school,she started hating me and she was abusive..but i still loved her with all my heart and wanted her at all cost,immediately she filed for divorce,my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do. She moved out of the house and abandoned the kids to me which become a very big load to me as a man taking care of kids,i was really desperate on what to do because the kids needs her,so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my wife back and introduced me to a relationship Therapist. Therapist oniha of the WIN EX BACK SPELL,i decided to try it reluctantly,although i didn’t believe in all those things,but i give it a trier,then when Therapist oniha did the special prayers and spell consultation for me,after 3days,my wife came back and was pleading i was surprise when she came,she had realized her mistakes,i just couldn’t believe it,anyways we are back together now and we are happy,in case anyone needs this God sent Therapist,i am happy to post his email online to someone who need the same help his spells is for a better life. again his email is i am so happy shearing this.

    • hug

      i just want to share my experience and testimony here,i was married for 9 years to my wife and all of a sudden,another man came into the picture which was her ex boyfriend in school,she started hating me and she was abusive..but i still loved her with all my heart and wanted her at all cost,immediately she filed for divorce,my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do. She moved out of the house and abandoned the kids to me which become a very big load to me as a man taking care of kids,i was really desperate on what to do because the kids needs her,so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my wife back and introduced me to a relationship Therapist. Therapist oniha of the WIN EX BACK SPELL,i decided to try it reluctantly,although i didn’t believe in all those things,but i give it a trier,then when Therapist oniha did the special prayers and spell consultation for me,after 3days,my wife came back and was pleading i was surprise when she came,she had realized her mistakes,i just couldn’t believe it,anyways we are back together now and we are happy,in case anyone needs this God sent Therapist,i am happy to post his email online to someone who need the same help his spells is for a better life. again his email is i am so happy shearing this.

    • kuqya

      Hello to people that want to be Great,
      Get your problem solve in Kuq Ya oracle temple / shrine …You can get the bellow problems solve here.I will want you all to know that there is no side effect to this spell casting at all,It just to help you get what you want in-other ,And you will also be free from fake spell casters if you come for solution to your problems here. 1. Get your scam money back 2.} Bring back lost lover, even if lost for a long time 3.} Remove bad spells from homes, business & customer attraction etc. 4.} Get promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career. 5.} Read all your problems before you even mention them to him 6.} Remove the black spot that keeps on taking your money away 7. Find out why you are not progressing in life and the solution 8.} Eliminate in family fights 9.} Ensure excellent school grades even for children with mental disabilities 10.} Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart 11.} I destroy and can send back the Nikolos if requested 12.} We heal barrenness in women and disturbing menstruation 13.} Get you marriage to the lover of your choice 14.} Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage 15.} Ensure success in work and business 16.} Mental illness & bewitched 17.} Can?t sleep at night or walking at night 18.} Recover stolen property and whereabouts of people that hurt you. 19.} Bring supernatural luck into 20.} Extreme protection for those doing dangerous jobs like security guards, Bank manager, cash transporters, Etc . READ UP CAREFULLY AND GET YOUR PROBLEM SOLVE:contact .

    • David Nancy

      Hello everyone in this forum, My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted A spell caster called Dr Laco I explained all my problem to him . In just 3 days, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before you are the best spell caster Dr laco i really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again. you may contact him via ( you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your. problem Contact Email is (

    • tori amri

      I just wanted to express my gratitude and appreciation to prophet salifu on bringing my husband back to me,I was married for 9 years to my husband and all of a sudden, he started seeing another lady at work.he started hailing at me and he was abusive.. and he stop careing for me, but I still loved him with all my heart .the situation made me unsettle and not to focus at work .so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster? i did not listen to her . i kept on hoping that my husband will come back home . after a month it got out of hand and my husband came back home to break the news to me that he want a divorce that he is getting married to the other lady .Hmmm it was so shocking to me ,i felt sad and depressed ,so i contacted my friend again and decieded to try to use spiritual means reluctantly..although I didn’t believe in all those things? I never thought in a million years that i will get my husband back to me a again. but I was proved wrong.after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it that we are back together. Prophet salifu remained consistent and kind throughout and made the process unbelievable I am deeply satisfied and thankful .if in doubt you should email him at or

    • Emiliano Babarah

      Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is ( you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.


    • Alicia

      I want to use this medium to testify of how i got back my wife after divorce, I and my wife have been together for 9 years with 2 kids, last year my wife filed a divorce against me, i did all i could to stop her but all to no avail until a friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet who helps people regain back lost love, when i contacted this spell caster he helped me cast a re-union spell and my wife came back to me within 48hours and we are happily together again as one family. Contact this spell caster for your relationship or marriage problems vial this email

    • Emiliano Babarah

      Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is ( you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.


    • Narol Denison

      Narol Denison

      i am Mrs. Narol Denison from new York. i want to use this medium to congratulate Dr kizzekpe for the great help of spell he has render to my relationship outbreak. since the past 3 years i was in a relationship problem with my ex, he always get me beating, i never knew he has another
      girl outside the town, her name is Michel, until i got this great spell caster email address from the internet, so i email him and i laid all my complain to him, he promise me that i am to keep off away from him, and i really agreed on it, but on a condition that my lost ex will be back,,,, he
      really put some few items which he uses to consulting his great oracle, his plan for my relationship was fulfill and my lost ex was back again within 48hrs… please if you are in such mess today please contact him at

    • Ryan casey

      Thanks Dr.kizzekpe for your kind help, You have done what other spell casters could not do for me i am so very happy for my lost joy which you have just recovered for me within 48 hours after you casted the spell on my ex whom i thought would never come back to me. I am so grateful to you for you are really powerful and genuine and i will always continue to share this testimony on the internet till the whole world know about you.Here is his email if you are also in need of his help

      Dr.kizekpe is true spell caster

    • Nadezhda Vyacheslav

      I have been reading about spell casting and its powers for a while but i never thought or it never occurred to me or i rather say that it happened that i never got myself in any situation that will make need the help of a spell caster.I read a lot of testimony on the internet on web pages, blog, and some on the Facebook page of some web site i linked with my Facebook with.I was more concerned about a certain spell caster MUTTON OSUN. That his name kept appearing on almost every comment form different individual claiming he has helped them a great deal in spell casting of all kind but mostly relationship problem that is from divorced man and women to lost love and cheating wife and husband was like don’t even know the word to use.All of them had just one thing in common that he help then resolved their problem that even therapist could not solve i guess the problem was passed the place where talking was not doing any good at all.But some how i believed them and their story cos the testimony were just too real and were from different people.I just enjoyed reading how he help those people and asking myself how possible it was that this spell caster could do all this with no effect of what so ever.Year they said his spell had no negative effect on the person who asked the spell to be casted and the person the spell is casted upon.I just wanted to know how it worked so i tried it and now i am among those writing this to tell those like me reading that this MUTTON guy is real.I am a single 32 years old mom of two two girls.I have always had a thing for this guy or i would say i liked this guy but he was kind of a mess cos of the lost of his wife.Like he had nothing to leave for any more.He never came out of this house and even went he did he doesn’t talk to anybody even i tried ti make a conversation he just smile so he doesn’t look cruel and then walk away.At night you can hear him breaking things and sobbing.I wouldn’t say i knew what he was feeling cos really i didn’t know but i knew i could make him happy again but no matter how i tried to get close he shuts me out.I really liked him and hated to see him miserable i mean he still have a chance to be happy with me.Contacting MUTTON OSUN was really easy for me cos all those other article had an email address i could use to contact him.So i send him an email to him but i didn’t get a responses immediately i mean it took three day before i saw his mail in response to my mail where he told me that he could help me make the guy to love.Am sorry i can mention my name or his cos i really don’t know who is writing this thing i am writing.Any way i was not allowed to tell any one till i have seen the result and important he told me i needed some materials for the spell casting.Most people tend to thinking his asking you to pay for the spell but not you have the choice to buy these materials and send them to him or you can ask that he get them for you if you can get the materials or the cost of buy and ship them to him is to much.In my case i gave him money to get the materials cos it was way less expansive.I guess he made some kind of harmless powdery substance with those materials and sent them over to me.He asked that i follow this instructions on how to make the spell active which i did.I must warn you it take at least two day to be effective cos it was after two days the man that never talks to me knocked at my door asking if i would like to watch movies with him at his place form there we kicked off.We have been together for 4 months now and still counting he is a really nice man i can am the luckiest woman in the world.I mean this only means that what MUTTON did is working and it changed both our life for good.I will also leave his mail here you contact purpose >>

    • Michele

      I truly believe that men are more “revenge and anger” motivated than ever before. I don’t know when having a job and responsiblities became a sex killer! Men have been supporting women for a long time. Now we are working to help support the family and we are still not getting any. While a wonderful man, my husband is dealing with anger and grief from a horrible prior marriage and I’m the one suffering for it. The bottom line is people… HAVE ENOUGH COURAGE TO LEAVE! Fear keeps us staying. Fear keeps us complaining. Fear wastes our whole f*&^%%*ing lives. I’m not going to become another number.
      At 42, I’m giving it til the end of the year and if I have to I will start over and go out and get something proven to keep you healthy, happy, looking younger, and just plain feeling great. SEX, SEX AND MORE SEX…..

    • Horney Wife

      Dear Tired Man:

      I know how you feel! I work 2 jobs to support my family. I’ve been married to a wonderful man for 15 years. I inherited the step-kids, debt and ex-wife problems. Part of the problem is women’s libido is highest later in life and guys peak much earlier…. too bad :n(

      The way the economy is going certainly puts a damper on most sex lives. Having sex, fantasizing about it or watching porn is a great and natural stress relief for me. Sometimes I wish we could create a new Victorian era where (rich) couples discreatly allowed the other their sexual trists without getting a divorce. Alas,this costs too much! I thought masterbation was for the teenage years.. oh well. I guess I’ll keep praying that my man’s libido gets better because at the end of the day, having the fancy car, vacation spot and all is such a drag. I’d rather be without and having a good time with my husband!

    • Sarah

      Don’t get married! I have been in a marriage for years now that has the same issue. My husband never pusues me and never wants to have sex, and many times I have iniated and he has said no. I find him a selfish and boring lover, but when you are married, you made a commitment to be faithful. If you get married, and this issue is already there, it will only get worse, and then it will be divorice number 2. Jump now and save yourself the heartache!

    • Tam

      I know how you feel! I am in the same situation completely! How can a person be fully happy if the sex life is no good at all?? Just like having a buddy that is your friend, and you do friend things with but thats it. How can a person feel loved by someone that doesn’t want to have sex instead of it being a big fight? It makes it not worth having sex at all with that person.

    • Is it me?

      I think that you should tell her. I would want to know for sure so that I could fix tehe problem.

    • Rida

      In my opnion that men not interests about sex after 10 years married,that because they getting it somewhere else,why can be happening,sex the same like your develop your relationship from begining should be make it fresh all the time,why suddenly after 10 years should be change,in this part i almost dying thing why????what about if your husband tell you that our sex noy exciting anymore,then that mean he has a sex with another women.he said he try to change his sex ,take a time,he said,from now i wait almost for two years,nothing change,a lying,why married men so easy going for another women,sorry to say that not all the men are doing the same thing.

    • R

      There is always condoms, I have never used any pills or patches, only codoms and it works. When we did want a kid wi didnt use the condoms 1 time and I got pregnant. But to tell you the truth my husband is scared of kids also, he had 12 siblings and his mom used to run from his dad so as to not get preggers. I think it could be psychological as well as physical. I am actually looking for a specialist to check my husband out because I am sick of his excuses for not wanting sex. I have been married for 5 years and trust me it does not get better. I do not want to get divorced or cheat.

    • ken

      Sometimes guys don’t really get the affection that they need. In my case I haven’t had sex with my girlfriend in a while.(And trust me I need it every day because I am a freek!! Lol!) I got tiered of all the nights that I went to bed really horny and she’s making excuses on why we can’t have sex. I just convienced my mind that I don’t want it with her and with that in said, I’m turned off to her sexually but still love her.