SuperNanny – Meet the McAfee Family

Did you happen to catch Monday nights episode of SuperNanny?

I don’t know about you, but my heart ached for this single dad, stuck up in Alaska with four small children.  Perhaps I missed the part where they mentioned mom, but as far as I could see, mom wasn’t around.  One wouldn’t have to wonder long as to where some of the issues were stemming from?

What Supernanny did for Brian McAfee in this episode was much more then to help find ways of handling the family situations – Jo Frost introduced him to neighbors and friends he might never have met on his own.

The poor guy seemed so painfully shy – I don’t think you’d have caught him talking to the cashier at the grocery store – much less making an effort to meet new friends on his own.

Perhaps this show will help build his self esteem and confidence to a level that will spill over into his life with his children.

At this point right now, given what I’ve seen on this episode, I’m going to say that if mom abandoned those kids and left her ex to deal with them entirely on his own, she doesn’t deserve an ounce of respect and I hope she doesn’t go off someplace else to create a whole new family with someone else – leaving this one behind.

If I’m wrong and the truth reveals itself, I’d be happy to admit my error.  However, as a mother myself, I can’t imagine not being in my children’s lives and have very little, if any, respect for any mother that could.

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    • Brian McAfee

      Yes, my confidence is back :) Our family has never been better, thanks for the compliments. Their mother pops in and out from now and then and they do crave her attention. Pretty sad, because she lives only 20 minutes away. I’m still a little shy, but this show has really, really helped me reach out to neighbors and even strangers too who’ve seen us on TV. I’m very glad we did it!

    • http://www.momgadget.com/about Gayla

      Brian ~
      Thanks so much for commenting. I was hoping you would.

      I’m not sure how long ago your episode was actually filmed, but hopefully the kids mother will see a little reflection of herself and feel the need to be more involved with her children.

      Having kids that belong to a ‘barely there’ other parent, I can relate to what you’re going through.

      I can’t understand what makes some parents do what they do, but in the case of your kids, it’s so great they have YOU on their side.

    • http://blog.larixconsulting.com/ Tris Hussey

      Brian, I jsut saw your episode this week. I can completely relate. I’m going through the divorce process myself (sorry I only caught the last half of the episode) and my eldest daughter is your eldest’s age.

      I have a lot of the same struggles you do. Kids mad, kids not understanding. I’m inspired by your success. Man and Super Nanny probably flew right over me in Canada! Dern, I need her to stop by.

      If you’d like to e-mail or chat, I’m sure Gayla can connect us up. Us single dads have to stick together!

    • http://www.bnpositive.com/blog bnpositive

      Brian, I didn’t catch your particular episode of Super Nanny, but my family watches it whenever we can. After reading this post from Gayla about the situation you’ve found yourself in, I just want to say you’re doing an amazing job. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I didn’t have my wife around to continue doing the great job she’s done with raising our two kids. Keep your chin up and keep finding the strength to do what you’re doing. You’ve got people that love you and support you, never be afraid to ask for help when you need, and even sometimes when you don’t.

    • http://www.playlibrary.com Kerri

      Hi Brian. I did see you this week! It’s odd how you can get wrapped up in another family’s life in just 45 minutes or so, but I was rooting for you! I was so proud when you mingled with the other parents, I think I yelled to my husband in the next room, “He’s meeting other people!” I know that the calls and chats with my friends are like my lifelines in getting through my days. I’m thankful for my husband, he is great with the kids, but I do count on my friends, too, to get through this whole parenting challenge. I hope that those relationships prove valuable and helpful to you. It was fantastic, too, when you played during the tea party. I need to do more of that. I’m proud of you for reaching out to SuperNanny; it’s not easy to admit that we’re at the end of our rope and out of ideas. But she wouldn’t be successful if we weren’t all watching hoping for one more thing we can try with our kids! And I think your reaching out shows your great love for your kids and your hope for better days. I hope all the best of everything for you and your family.

    • http://www.insidefatherhood.com Steve Remington

      Brian, missed the show…

      I am a stay at home dad with 5 kids. Wife works all the time. Too bad you lived Alaska we could watch movies all day with the kids. haha

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    • http://diamond-drops.blogspot.com Elween

      hei, do you guys know that Super Nanny is actually shown in Singapore as well? love watching it and it teaches me how to handle kids with patience because Asian parents are very impatient. anyway, i am not parent but i am a child worker. got lots of benefits from this show. take care :)

    • http://diamond-drops2.blogspot.com Elween

      hei, do you guys know that Super Nanny is actually shown in Singapore as well? love watching it and it teaches me how to handle kids with patience because Asian parents are very impatient. anyway, i am not parent but i am a child worker. got lots of benefits from this show. take care

    • http://www.perellaphotography.com Melissa P

      Hi Brian,

      Hope you and the kids are still doing great up in Alaska! I rarely get the opportunity to watch an entire Supernanny episode, as I am typically wrangling my own two small kids (ages 3 and 4), but I did manage to watch most of yours. Let me tell you this – It was incredible to see a man who legitimately cares about the well being of his family and really loves his kids. I went through what was possibly one of the nastiest divorces around – in a nutshell, my former husband decided to divorce me while I was expecting our 2nd child – I was beyond devastated and the depression that followed nearly ended me. To make matters worse, we were 3000 miles away from my hometown (he is military)and he had myself and our then 1 year-old daughter put out of military housing, leaving us technically homeless and having to move between several different families who were nice enough to take us in until we could get back home. That was 3 years ago and thankfully I survived and pulled through it – I am a professional artist and its great to have that outlet and to be able to have it as a business as well! It has been a huge challenge, juggling that business and trying to be the best possible mom for two very small kids. I think that divorce has become such a norm in our society that people sometimes do not realize just how deep the aftershocks can travel and how tough it con be to put your self together again! Sorry for the ramble, but I could really relate to your story! I appreciate how incredibly busy you stay, but would love to have you as a pen pal/e-mail friend – if you ever want to talk let me know! All the best….

    • Brian McAfee

      I would love to :) Thanks for the kind words. My email is trayshen@hotmail.com. Keep up the great work!

      Brian McAfee

    • http://the4400guide.com Alexandra

      My heart goes out to you Brian. We have you in our prayers. They say that everything happens for a reason (a good one)! :)
      Alexandra

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    • http://sklurben.buzznet.com/user/ sklurben

      brian, dude…you’re my hero!
      i wish nothing but the best for you and your beautiful children!

    • http://www.gorent.net judi dodson

      Brian,
      I just saw the show for the second time and wow… you are one amazing dad!!! I have been through 2 divorces, both with children ( who are now young adults) and now have a wonderful husband and 5 yr old son… when I was single with 3 sons very close in age, I too had to deal with angry children taking out their frustrations on me and saying horrible things to me. They beat up each other, destroyed things and were always getting in to trouble at school.. worse yet, my oldest was diagnosed bipolar, adhd, opositional defiance disorder and post traumatic stress to name a few… it was tough, but with much help from family therapist and great support from family and friends and school, we managed to survive…

      I don’t know where you’re ex is in all of this, but it’s sad that she doesn’t value her children as much as you do.. she is the loser in this… the kids too, but her regret will far outweigh theirs. You are the richest man in the world to have 4 adoring children who look to you for everything and know you are in it for the long run with them. Your tea party with the girls was awesome, the way you allow fun to be more than accepted.. I loved the playing “business” with the kids.. I’m going to do that one with my son. I hope you have come to know your neighbors more and are socializing more, it would be their gain to have you around..

      Keep up the great work and if you want to email and just share thoughts as well as vent frustrations, feel free… I know what it’s like to be “both” parents while the other one just does what they want.. the anger can be overwhelming. but in the end, you have the kids to hold and cuddle and tell you they love you.. she doesn’t!! that my friend makes the anger a little less intense…

      My email is: judi.gorent@gmail.com feel free to contact me anytime..

      Judi

    • Someone that knows the real brian.

      Brian,

      You made your ex-wife out to be some one who just walked away… when in reality she had all the kids while you were being reported to Child services for beating them. and tell the people here how you pulled out of the court ordered mental help, and how you are yet again sleeping in your sons room. and how this is the third time the kids have come out to say you hit them with hangers, you leave brusies all over them.. and how now you want to leave alaska so your ex wife cant help them… why on the show did you not mention that you and nanny jo told her not to come so they could show just you, and you painted it as if she does nothing when she fought you in court for custody and you always break the visit schedule, and how she is fighting you now so you cant run away to arizona… so brian take your fake pitty me act since you live with your ex wife parents in a home they built just for you and your kids who i hope you cant take to another state and shut up.

    • yes brian is a liar at least i know that now.

      brian your such a liar, I have know brian for a long time knew him when he and his ex met, know him now, i recently saw the episode of suppernanny and damn he has changed and 90% of what was said and seen was a lie. the lake the nanny flew in on is miles away from where they live in eagle river. right by the states biggest city… so alot of hype up the alaska angle there. second the kids mom never walked out brian got too controling for her n one occasion he destroied her pc because she didnt come home on time. he as far as i know yes does live with his ex parents in their house. he does want to take the kids away he has been reported for abuse more than once, he is someone im glad i stopped knowing cause that episode made me sick… I don’t know who made the post before mine but it is true. Brian is not the man he played himself to be on this show. he is a mean controling man. and if anyone has a mind they won’t let him leave the state with kids he has been reported for beating. its all public record that more than one case was filed i looked it up… wow brian what have you done.. and yes I can say i know for a fact the mother has been there all the time, and was not in the episode because she herd how brian was trashing her and wanted to be the mature one and not fight on t.v. but she has always been there she did have them all the time when brian was in trouble for beating the kids.. brian did pull out of the state ordered mental help wich i may look into seeing if i can report it.. cause he needs it and if he takes those kids they will run away or get hurt he is not safe in his life and they are not safe wit them.

    • yes brian is a liar at least i know that now.

      last line should read they are not safe with him

    • puppy

      brian your a liar, your ex I’ll call her “S” has been fighting you since way before supper nanny for custody of HER kids. and what you posted below is all a lie just like most of what you said on tv.
      and the last two post I was glad to see someone pull up the truth… and yea I will stand by what I am saying when i say you dont deserve those kids and i think any man who has more than 4 (or did you stop at 3) files of child abuse in file in public record should not be and will not be allowed to leave state with kids. and I will hope one day those kids can heal from what you do.. oh and STOP SLEEPING IN YOUR SONS BED WITH HIM THAT SICK AND I THINK YOUR DOING SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT.

      Brian wrote:

      ” Brian McAfee
      Feb 21, 2007 at 11:04 am

      Yes, my confidence is back :) Our family has never been better, thanks for the compliments. Their mother pops in and out from now and then and they do crave her attention. Pretty sad, because she lives only 20 minutes away. I’m still a little shy, but this show has really, really helped me reach out to neighbors and even strangers too who’ve seen us on TV. I’m very glad we did it!”

      YOU LIAR

    • Gayla McCord

      The following was sent in response to a private email I received from the one person posting as Puppy and the three prior comments:

      Hello,
      I’d like to state for the record that I am merely a FAN of the show SuperNanny. I have nothing to do in association with the show other than reporting what I SEE on the show in personal opinion, period.

      I have checked the comments and can see that all the comments come from the same IP address. I believe them to be personal in nature and would advise that if you have any personal issues with Brian, that you seek assistance of an attorney or other means within the proper jurisdiction. I cannot help you any further.

      Unless something comes from someone with reputable verification other than a random email or three, I cannot call that fact and will not subject my readers to family conflict as such.

      Wishing you the best

    • Stacey McAfee (yes, the ex-wife)

      First off, I’m going to say to whomever posted the last few comments (and I say this in love): over-reaction is helping no one. I understand where you’re coming from, and it is a place of concern… I hear that. Thank you for your concern.

      However, this is helping no one.

      That being said, since I’m going to post anyway, I will clear a few things up. Take it or not, believe it or not… I can’t say I value anyones’ opinion on this board, considering the level of judgment I’ve seen reflected in the posts.

      Fact: I left Brian. Brian filed to divorce me.

      Fact: There have been 5 DFYS cases against Brian since I left him in the summer of 2004.

      Fact: I turned him in to DFYS when my son, Silas, came over with bruises all over his face. This case was substantiated.

      Fact: In 2006, I had testing done that revealed that I have Asperger Syndrome. (I am now 31 years old). I had just enough ability to function to move out of my parents’ house, and not enough functionality to get myself out of an abusive relationship.

      Fact: I was abused for 8 years while being married to Brian.

      Fact: Brian went back to sleeping with Silas after Jo left.

      Fact: Brian hit me and fractured my face on 4 July 2001, in front of Eliana and Silas. Kaia was less than a year old.

      Fact: Brian destroyed my computer in 2004, and I got a restraining order against him because of it.

      Fact: My parents have built a 4000 square foot home (duplex style) in Alaska so that Brian can live close enough to receive any help he might need with the children.

      Fact: I do live 20 minutes away from the kids. However, Brian refuses to transport them at all, so I have to not only pick a day when my functionality is high, but also when I have money to fill up my gas tank. (Sidenote: my parents gave him a gas credit card to use… and yet, he still refuses to transport them).

      Fact: I took Brian to court last year after Eliana told me Brian had hit her with a coat hanger. I checked her over and found he’d left a large mark near her kidney.

      Fact: Myself and my parents were all invited to be on the episode of Supernanny. We declined.

      Finally, if you absolutely need to, go here and type in MCAFEE.

      http://www.courtrecords.alaska.gov/pa/pa.urd/pamw6500.display

      I am now finished with this non-sense.

    • Gayla McCord

      Seriously people, this has NOTHING to do with the show other than it being a fan site and personal opinions. I’d really appreciate you’re keeping the personal and legal disputes off the comments here. I’m not there, I don’t know either one of you and I can’t support either side. I simply report what I saw ON THE SHOW period.

      Thanks for the comments and I sincerely hope you both work out the differences for the sake of the children.

    • Brian McAfee

      Gayla – If you will permit me one post on this matter, I will not burden your lovely site anymore on these subjects :)

      To the point – to the no name poster-your slander is uncalled for. If your going to post stuff, why not have the guts to leave a real name? Your goal was to cause strife on my family. Shame on you.

      Second – do not believe everything my ex is posting. People will lie when it is convenient for them. Check your facts. Your posts in response and all of your “facts”, though perhaps done in good will, were unneccesary and appear to be a means of further hurting me, undoubtly due to current issues. You know I simply want to try something new. Shame on you too.

      My reason for being on the show was to get some assistance…nothing more. I did indeed invite Stacey to partake and she and her parents declined. In point of fact, I went through extensive interviews and back ground checks to be on the show…cases against me included…they AND Jo were aware of everything. I only wanted and still want to help my family as they are the single most important thing in my life. Any time someone is put in the spot light, there are those that, having nothing better to do, choose to slander them. That will always be the case. I understand this and shrug off any attempts at upsetting me.

      I do not claim to be perfect….never have. If your reading this, you, too know that no one is. I bet if we digged, there would all be posts against us that would hurt.

      It is too bad that these posts have found their way on this site. I apologize, Gayla, for this intrusion. I hope that these “events” have not tarnished any reader’s opinions of your site or of Supernanny.

      My best regards,

      Brian McAfee

    • Randy McAfee

      Dear puppy and stacy, Jo has helped brian and the children a lot, as do positive comments from others. I wonder where your facts come from?
      Please don’t leave out what the judge said about all the abuse charges that were dissmissed, and the shape the children were in when mom was home, and brian had to leave work because mom called and said she couldn’t handle the kids and in ten minutes was leaving.
      there is much more, but why get envolved here? leave it between Brian and Stacey and let the judge decide what is best for brian and the children

    • puppy my web browser was having issues if this is one here more than once i am sorry

      Wow and more lies commeth from Mcafee land

    • puppy

      Lets not forget the “facts” you wanted to know where they came from the came from the alaska court records and from public records not in court. Calling stacey a liar when you cant dispute you did it… and can’t dispute that you did pull out of a court ordered treatment, you cant dispute that you are not a fit parent in my opinion.. Any grown man that sleeps with son is not fit or healthy. now to adress you directly Brian

      “Second – do not believe everything my ex is posting. People will lie when it is convenient for them. Check your facts. Your posts in response and all of your “facts”, though perhaps done in good will, were unneccesary and appear to be a means of further hurting me, undoubtly due to current issues. You know I simply want to try something new. Shame on you too.” She cant lie when ts all backed by official court website, records, the show itself, and the kids who dont cover for you. but i am done on this issue. all i will ask for is that gayla give the deserved “i’m sorry” to sctaey as she made inncorrect judgements about her and Brian you owe stacey an ” I’m sorry” for this and alot more.

      Silas is an awsome child I think each of the kids is awsome and bright they deserve more than Brian. they deserve their mother and brian could make that happen if hed transport them to see her from time to time.

    • Randy McAfee

      puppy at least I am not hiding my name!!

    • Concerned Comment Reader

      You know-you guys had your kids really young and with age comes experience. I think supernanny has given Brian an opportunity to see another way and change and build on his relationship with his children. And Brian I wish you all the best.

      People can change!

      On the flip side, I think you need more adult companionship and fellowship. Keep organising get togethers with your neighbours and school acquaintances and get online or go speed dating and meet some women.

      Also, you have a responsibility to make sure your kids spend time with their mum. If you guys can’t stand each other, use an intermediary to swap the kids.

      And finally, if it’s true, dude, get out of your son’s bedroom. I’m all for attachment parenting but he wants you out and you need proper sleep.

      All the best

    • Anna

      Listen, I’m Anna. I’m ten now. I was 4 in the show. I’ll have you know my dad is the best dad I could have ever wished for, and we didnt need your help to be the perfect family

      • Jo Popowick

        I cried at this one I felt for brian it isn’t easy raising kids alone