• Mon, Nov 12 2007

Ritalin Now On Sale! Every Pill Must Go!

missing child

Nice, but it’s missing something…

I have a very normal, balanced friend I’ll refer to herein as the Skritch who was misdiagnosed with ADHD as a child. To this day, her parents still refer sympathetically to her atrocious attention span, continuously seeking out new ways to help the poor thing just keep it all together. I say misdiagnosed because there is no possible way a rational creature would ever conceive of ADHD and the Skritch hanging out in the same room, let alone having any sort of “thing” together. As a teen, she sensibly held the Ritalin under her tongue until her parents were convinced she’d swallowed her dose, taking care to spit it out like a mushy pea at the soonest opportune moment (which she managed to patiently wait for with no trouble at all). Even if she had really had ADHD, all those little pills would have been a waste, because a study released today proves that Ritalin has no long-term benefits for children.

Earlier studies showing a benefit were probably grossly exaggerating things, say researchers. Now they tell us. Though Ritalin has been shown to initially quell the steaming urchins into meek obedience, benefits are conferred only briefly. Don’t worry, I’m going to help you out here: Big Pharma invented an illness and subsequent drug to treat the invented illness and now it is coming back to bite them in the poopmuffin. I know: the first time anything unexpected like this happens, it can be a shock, so don’t try to wrap your head around it all in one go.

The new study concludes that after the initial “benefit”, treated children go right back to being brats. As an added bonus, children treated for upwards of three years may experience stunted growth. The cure for that, of course, is Prozac, Frappuccinos and marijuana. I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Please. I love kids, especially breaded in a sandwich with a zesty aioli and a rugged amber ale.

- Photo

Defiantly yours…

What We're Reading:
Share This Post:
  • Michael Epstein

    Big Pharma “created” ADHD & ADD. That’s not quite the same thing as saying they all out made it up. The systems existed… they grouped a set of symptoms and named them. Isn’t that what any “disease” is, albeit the naming comes from doctors?

  • Michael Epstein

    I said “the systems existed” I meant the “symptoms”

  • http://dopeylarue.blogspot.com Dopey LaRue

    Just like how they “created” RLS??? I think the opperative statement in Michael’s post is “albeit the naming comes from doctors”. Exactly. Doctors. Who know more about those kinds of things.

  • http://children Stacey

    I do think the “Pharmas” have taken advantage of ADHD & ADD, and many children who do not need ritalin are medicated with it. Afterall, some children are simply more energetic, which can be completely normal. However, having worked in special education, I have also seen some children who actually required this medication in order to function at all. One child’s parents were doing right by their child and took him off of ritalin for a few days to reassess the situation. We were all on board and thought it a great idea. On the medication you would have no idea this bright child had any learning issues or impulse control problems, he is empathetic and thoughtful as well, although rather quiet. Off of the medication he was completely unable to control his impulses ( he would act so quickly that he had no time to think about his actions ) and was constantly hitting his friends, yelling uncontrollably and was so utterly distracted that he could not follow or comprehend even the simplest of instructions. I felt aweful having to put him in time away since it was clear he had no control; he was like a whirlwind. In milder cases cognitive behavior therapy and sometimes dietary changes will suffice to manage symptoms, however, in this case I believe he truly needed the medication in order to function at the most basic level. The medication does seem to supress his personality a bit, so perhaps a smaller dose would be ideal. The goal should not be to have no symptoms, but to use the smallest dose of ritalin necessary ( along with behavior therapy/ plans ) to be able to manage symptoms well enough for learning to take place.

  • Not Anonymous

    I have never been under the impression that Ritalin was supposed to have any long-term benefits for children with ADD or ADHD. The effect it has on the child is temporary, with the main effect lasting only a few hours, and all of the medication can be cleared out of the system within a few days.

    It doesn’t act like an antibiotic, where you can simply make the symptoms ‘go away’ after some time.

    When I was diagnosed with ADD as a child, my doctor informed me of all this, and told me that the medication would allow me to pay attention in school, and that it would be best for me if I could force myself to learn to behave in this fashion without the medication, and that some people are able to ‘grow out of it’. 15 years later, I still haven’t. And so, 15 years later, I’m still taking the medication, and it works fabulously. I still have to take “medication vacations” every few weekends, as instructed by my doctor, and I dread those days.

    For me, at least, the long-term benefits have only come to fruition because I continued to take the ritalin, dexedrine, or adderall every day. I have never been under the impression that it was supposed to be a cure. Just a management system.

  • http://www.healthbolt.net Sara

    Not Anon, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. I appreciate your perspective.

  • dan

    you talk crap i konw i have adhd

  • http://truebluecafe.us Robert

    I know for a fact that treatment of ADHD will decrease any substance abuse if treated from 5 to 15 years old. The kids just don’t get addicted. Ritalin and long term use of this medication takes away the euphoria effect that drugs cause and thus most children who use it don’t have drug problems later in life. I have proof from the NIDA that was printed in major medical magazines.

  • http://www.myspace.com/hellbombrecords Mark

    you know I have to say, I have ADD, however treating it with ritalin was out of the question, because I got very addicted to it via I.V. drug use. Therefor I have found that balancing my diet and taking a normal dose of caffeine helps with my symptoms. I’m not doctor, but it does work for me.

  • http://www.weather.com microsoftwom

    woman global microsoft girl global

  • http://profile.myspace.com cubenighteng

    jhon watch america canada free deliver clean sun stone see woman frog white sun no vacant

  • http://www.esnips.com/user/makeringtonent makeringtone

    vacant look boy pets boat tree keyboard greed letter juicy boat

  • http://www.esnips.com/user/freesidekicknl freesidekick

    red google yes yahoo white microsoft bag yahoo black white australia wood

  • http://www.esnips.com/user/familyguyrinbah familyguyrin

    car all kitchen white right english girl keyboard all

  • http://www.esnips.com/user/mtvringtoneszmq mtvringtones

    man trust joke stone google sea sun white canada deliver

  • http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/?search=ADULTFRIENDFINDER.COM johnierjfnk2

    A collection of the funniest, most amazing and exciting YouTube video clips selected especially for You – have a great fun!

  • http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/?search=REDTUBE.COM johnierjfednk2

    A collection of the funniest, most amazing and exciting YouTube video clips selected especially for You – have a great fun!