I turned 40 this year. It sucked. It didn’t suck in the way I thought it would suck–being 40, in and of itself, is okay. It really does feel like the new 30, or whatever marketers are coming up with to distract us from the fact that our stocks just bombed, our parents’ life savings are down the tubes, Social Security is a joke, and our kids will never be able to afford college. Add to that a failed marriage, a single income, not even a home to call my own and mortgage to the hilt. On top of it all, I turned 40 this year.
I tried to write an upbeat email to my friend Amy over at Fannfare, who is facing a 40 of her own. It didn’t come out quite as cheery as I’d hoped it would, but I think it’s a watershed number for women everywhere… the waning of our fertility, the not so long view to 50. Are we being too hard on ourselves? Do we think we should be established in our careers and our families. We should be matriarchs. We should be successful… whatever that means. It’s such a rude realization to wake up after waiting all your life to be grown up and suddenly know: there’s no such thing as grown up. It never stops. You keep making mistakes, getting dinged up, dusted up, rolled around and pounced on by life’s surprises. I’d be worried if I ever thought to myself, “Well, now, I’ve arrived. I can just stop now.” Pushing daisies, sister. I might hurt, but damn, I’m alive, and I’m getting smarter every day. How’s about you?
Susan Courtad over at One Woman Show said it so well only a month ago:
Life is good for me, despite all da bizness , so I’m winding down my 30’s this weekend with a renewed attitude and outlook…plus a few beers, deep breathing techniques, good food and even better company. I want to thank you all for reading One-Woman Show and your great advice. I’m taking it to heart.
Lean into your tribe when you’ve got a corner to turn. Keeps you from losing your wheels.
(Photo: Cake by Nazreth on Stock.exchng)