What to say (Or Not) to Widows and Widowers

Thanks to Tribute.com who sent this information to us all at Widows Quest.tributes_logo

“According to a recent article in U.S. News & World Report, researchers have identified key factors that define “Prolonged Grief Disorder,” a disorder thought to exist when a person becomes stuck for months or years in a grief and loss cycle and is unable to move on with their lives.

For those of us that know someone like this, it can be difficult to know what to do or say to make the other person feel better. According to David Kessler, Grief and Loss Specialist for Tributes.com, “Many of us have been in a position where we just didn’t know what to say to someone in grief.  We meant no harm; in fact we were trying to comfort. It is important to keep in mind that context, timing and who it’s coming from are everything.”

Kessler offers the best and worst things to say to someone in grief in the support group section on Tributes.com. http://www.tributes.com/groups/group. A few of each are listed below.

The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief

  1. At least she lived a long life, many people die young
  2. He is in a better place
  3. She brought this on herself
  4. There is a reason for everything
  5. Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for a while now

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief

  1. I am so sorry for your loss.
  2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
  3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here If can help in anyway.
  4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  5. My favorite memory of your loved one is…

Thanks to Tribute.com and I would add that often the best thing to say….is nothing at all, just be there and allow them to talk…

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