I got asked a question recently about whether it’s okay to hang out with your ex. On the surface, my answer is “sure,” but with a few stipulations. If you’re considering hanging out with a brand new ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, here are some points to keep in mind.
Timing Is Everything
The biggest mistake singles make when they first break up with someone is thinking they can immediately hang out with their ex and have everything be just fine. Of course, it takes some time to get over the break up. How much time? That depends on the couple, how long you’ve both been dating, and how serious your relationship. Some people can move on from relationships very quickly, while others need more time. If your ex is looking to instantly be friends, tell him or her that you’re up to it, but just want to take some time for yourself first.
What happens when one ex moves on before the other? It can cause the one left behind to be a bit clingy. Sometimes that comes in the form of friendship, where your ex says they just want to hang out with you. The truth may be, however, that they are nervous about your new relationship. If you do decide to hang out with an ex, be sure you are giving your new guy or girl the right amount of time and attention. You wouldn’t want to jeopardize something new (and potentially great) for a friendship based on love that didn’t work out.
The Old Standby
Sometimes partners rely on each other immediately after they break up. They are comfortable with each other, so instead of branching out and meeting new people, they decide to just hang out instead. This can sometimes lead to a situation where ex’s become best friends for a long time after they break up, and yet because of their close “friendship” neither can find the right person. If you rely too much on your ex rather than making new friends (and meeting new singles), it’s time to get some distance.