When my mom used to get angry she would become mean.
- How could you be so @#$??!! stupid?
- You are nothing but a brat, an incorrigible brat. You will never amount to anything.
- You are JUST like your father, and not in a good way, either.
- I know you …and there is nothing good in there.
Those were some harsh comments. Did she love me? Sure she did, in her own way. Did I feel it?
To this day I struggle with trying to prove to the world that I am worthwhile, successful, and not lazy or demon possessed. No one should feel that they have to prove those things.
Anger is a valid human emotion. It happens. It’s what you do with it that matters.
My mom believed that if you got offended by her hurtful words that was your problem. She felt she should be allowed to say what she wanted without worrying how you took it. She had spent decades of her life holding in her anger so when she finally allowed herself the freedom to be angry she more or less exploded with it. Not good.
I know a lot of people like that. They get angry and feel they can say and do what they like and you just need for forgive them. You see them in stores, saying awful things to their children…and then wondering why their children close them out. Be aware of your words. Choose them carefully. Point out flaws, discipline, or discuss your anger without being hurtful or cutting your child down. Respect the fact that they have feelings and you don’t have the right to say hurtful things just because you are angry.
I think the Bible said it best. In Psalm 4:4 it says, In your anger do not sin…