Hey, Blisstree reader! Check out this cheeky new post we just published – Rear-View Mirror: 10 Things We Women Stick Up Our Butts.
In a follow-up to our recent girly post Vagina Monologue: 10 Things We Shove All Up In There, we present 10 more foreign objects that often become intimate with our lady parts – and things are getting pretty crowded downstairs.
1. NuvaRing® Once-a-Month Birth Control – Wait, did Esther Williams wear one? We don’t get it. And funny how a contraceptive device with a giant hole in it can stop us from getting preggers.
3. The Pelvic Locator (a.k.a. Pelvic Educator) – Um, no. We’ll find our pelvis without teaching tools, thanks. But if you can’t, one of these pointy pokers is $30.95 from Medgo.
4. Yeast Infection Medicine – What’s suckier than a yeast infection? Try having a yeast infection and a bladder infection at the same time. Owweee.
5. The “Go-Girl“ – Okay, so it doesn’t exactly go inside you, but it’s a flexible, silicone funnel cup that lets you pee standing up in the woods like a dude, while looking like a moron. ($12 at Babeland)
6. Cervical Cap – We’d rather not invite anything inside that may get stuck and need to be removed by a health care professional. Plus, it looks like it should be unclogging a toilet somewhere.
8. Plastic Tampon Applicators – Good for when you’re 12 and don’t know what the hell you’re doing; bad for the environment. (Those suckers stick around landfills.) And do we really need pearls up in p-town? Be a woman already. Use finger-friendly shove-its!
10. Douches – Here’s a tip: Just take a shower. Oh, and douching doesn’t prevent pregnancy. So don’t be a D-bag.