• Tue, Jun 1 2010

Vagina Monologue: 10 Things We Shove All Up In There

Hey, Blisstree reader! Check out our follow-up post – Inside Story: 10 More Things We Stick Up Our Vaginas.

Let’s face it. We women – and our partners and gynos – jam a lot of stuff up into our lady orifice. Some of these devices hurt (curse you, speculum!), others don’t (hello, vibrator!); many are liberating (contraception), others completely life-changing. (Can you imagine how your poor grandmother survived without tampons?) Here’s our top 10 list of weird shit we shove into our vaginas (well, penises aren’t really weird, but you get our meaning), proving just how strong, tolerant, resilient, and awe-inspiring we women are:

1. Speculum – High time for a re-design; this thing’s fucking uncomfortable. (photo: Thinkstock)


2. IUD (Intrauterine Device) – T-shaped? Copper? Crazy! (photo: WebMD)

3. Tampons – Thank you for these, dear inventor, Dr. Earle Haas. (photo: Thinkstock)

4. The Diaphragm – For some reason it reminds us of Bonnie Franklin on One Day at a Time. (photo: Planned Parenthood)

5. Female condoms – Nice idea, but does anyone actually use them?

6. Vaginal Spermicidal Suppositories, Sponges, Creams, Foams, Gels, and VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film) – Better safe than sorry. (photo: Planned Parenthood)

7. Vibrators – Women are always buzzing about them.

The high-tech Rabbit Habit ($119.99) from Vibrators.com

8. Fingers – For business (say, finding that disappeared tampon) or pleasure. (photo: Thinkstock)

9. Dildos – Your grandmother probably didn’t have these, either.

Candy Colored Glass Dildo ($90) from Babeland.com

10. A Penis – The original classic. No image necessary.

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  • wbmill

    The diaphragm-One Day at a Time connection is either because Julie was always such a cow you wished she was never conceived OR it’s just the by-product of the raging sexual tension between Schneider and Ann Romano. Why did he only have the pass-key to her apartment and not her heart?