Take a minute to remember the teasers from your favorite fitness infomercials: Sexy, flat abs in less than two weeks! A super-fun workout you won’t want to stop! Never step foot in a gym again! We’ve all been there, gazing at the empty promises blaring from our TV at 3 a.m. Those full-voiced announcers promise washboard abs without the time or sweat associated with normal workouts. Eureka! We ignore our inner inertia and call the number on the screen. Not surprisingly, these at-home fitness devices have a high turnover rate – into garage sale items. Ever bought one of those lazy “As Seen On TV” products? Blisstree found our top five least-used exercise infomercial equipment and videos of the past two decades:
1. Abtronic: What better choice to kick off our list than the Abtronic Electronic Fitness System? For those of you who never fell for this one, congratulations! It means you’re truly not as lazy as the rest of us. To use the Abtronic, you simply rub a gel on your belly, wrap a belt around your waist, and let the electronic stimulators go to work. During your “workout,” you’re free to sit on the couch, watch TV (an infomercial, perhaps?), or make an ice cream sundae.
2. Crunchless Abs Workout Video: Workout guru Linda LaRue offers her unique ten-minute ab routine that will turn “flab into fab” without a single traditional crunch. You betcha!
3. Shake Weight: While traditional weights require full arm extension as well as heavy lifting and pressing, the Shake Weight limits this activity all around. To tone and shape the arms, you just have to shake a 2.5 weight (imagine playing the maracas) for up to six minutes. If that sounds mind-numbingly boring, who ever said laziness and boredom were mutually exclusive? Our favorite phrase here is: dynamic inertia.
4. Body Burner: Apparently, the official name for a mini-trampoline is the “body burner.” How many people over the age of six can jump on a trampoline for more than ten minutes without getting a headache, feeling as though you might break your neck, or asking your mommy to bring you a drink box? If you’re the exception, then you may be able to break a sweat with this cheap toy. Props to you.
5. Ab Lounge: Although the makers of this machine (Ultra and Xtreme) swear that it’ll turn your “flabby abs into sensationally sexy swimsuit abs,” we think it more clearly screams: “beach chair.” But we’ll let Tony Little do the talking/yelling.
Friendly Warning: Next time you consider purchasing a piece of fitness equipment via a loud and obnoxious TV pitch, consider if the adverse side effects are sweat and heavy breathing. Not all infomercial equipment can double as a lazy-boy or body massager. But if it does resemble those items, you may as well find it at a neighbor’s garage sale.