Not to sound negative, but we just need to vent a little about the irritating and inappropriate behaviors of some people in elevators, subway cars, buses, trains, cubicles, ATM vestibules, waiting rooms, and other tight spots where we all share the same space. So here’s our list of 30 things you should never do in (enclosed) public spaces. And of course, we know you’re not guilty of any of these egregious behaviors.
1. Pluck your eyebrows. They have salons for that, you know.
2. Clip your nails (finger or toe). May we introduce you to your bathroom?
3. Spank or scream at your children. This makes us want to punch you.
4. Cough up phlegm loudly. Mmmnnnn.
5. Q-tip your ears. We’d be happy to tell you where to put that cotton swab.
6. Paint your nails (finger or toe). P.U.
7. Apply makeup as though you’re getting a professional makeover in a beauty salon. We’d rather not choke on your face powder dust. Sorry.
8. Change your baby’s diaper – on a subway, city bus, monorail, tram, trolley car, gondola, or any other mode of public transportation that doesn’t have a bathroom. Our compassion has its limits.
9. Trim your nose and/or ear hairs. You’re hard-core, and on some level, we respect that.
10. File your nails (finger or toe) and drop the remnants on the ground. You are one classy broad/fella.
11. Kiss and/or grope each other noisily and messily. For the love of God, get a room.
12. Pass gas. If you do, at least pretend it wasn’t you.
13. Eat your hot, smelly lunch so that everyone around you feels like they’re eating it, too. Very considerate of you.
14. Burp loudly so that everyone around you can smell what you had for lunch, even though they already know, because you just ate it in front of them, and it smelled. Delish!
15. Brush your dandruff off onto others. Keep your flakiness to yourself.
16. Floss your teeth or pick at them with your fingers. Oh no you didn’t.