Because you were so close to making a clean getaway from the Palin family. Now you have to be stuck for life with your high school sweetheart (without even having finished high school!); stop posing for Playgirl; and spend the Christmas holidays with your monster-in-law wearing a polar-bear-in-a-Santa-cap sweater. Meantime, you’ve also broken Kathy Griffin’s heart, which is just unforgivable.
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