Like he just did to Charlene Wittstock, his bride-to-be. The royal bastard! Wait, stay those tears. The happy couple actually moved the date up from July 9 to July 2, 2011, so that they could attend an International Olympic Committee meeting in South Africa July 5-9 as newlyweds. (Charlene used to do a little swimming for her native South Africa.) Forever the romantic skeptics, we’ll see if the balding prince drums up any other excuses before the big day.