Working out is supposed to be relaxing, but sometimes we leave the gym feeling more “aggro” than “zen.” When we’re working hard to hit our target heart rate zones, our threshold for dirty machines, grunting gym-goers, and smelly carpets is at a low point. Next time we join a gym, we’d like to see a few behavior guidelines in a gym etiquette appendix. Until then, we’ll rely on The Fitness Fascist to get everyone in line.
This week: We want our spin class peers to GET. HERE. ON. TIME.
Dear spin class diva,
I know that it’s 6:30 a.m. (I dragged my ass out of bed at 6:00 too, you know), and it’s not easy to show up 15 minutes early. But now is not an appropriate time to waltz into class and demand that the instructor help adjust your bike. Now that class has started, the instructor is busy helping me and the thirty other groggy spinners thirty who paid for this class get into our groove. It’s our time; not yours.
When you came in wearing cycling shoes and spandex shorties, you had a look that said “I don’t need this warm-up crap; I’m an expert spinner, and I can do my own thing.” But now that you can’t adjust your bike seat, you’re yelling at the instructor to come help you out. Did I mention that the rest of us bothered to show up early and get our bikes figured out? When he says he can’t hear you (ya know, because he’s yelling into a microphone), I can see your eyes rolling all the way back from bike #43, and when you finally get on your bike and ride out of saddle, your bad energy starts to really mess up my chi. Did I mention that it’s now 6:35 a.m., and I’m starting to sweat?
The instructor gets the class going and comes over to give you a hand, so your problem is solved, but you’ve ruined the start of the day with your bad attitude and clueless etiquette. Next time you go for a spin, show up on time. Or shut up and adjust your own bike.
—The Fitness Fascist