Donald Trump Is A Neurotic Pizza-Eater, Just Like Me

Confession: I have never been a normal pizza-eater. As a kid, I hated melted cheese, so I lopped off the toppings and gave it a parmesan sprinkle, much to my mother’s chagrin. Since then, I’ve done everything from dab it with napkins to soak up the grease (hey, it was the 90′s, everyone was afraid of fat), request extra pizza sauce to boost my superfood intake, and line my plate with uneaten crusts, because everyone knows those are just empty carbs. (And unless we’re talking about a real Italian pizzeria, I doubt even your favorite pizza’s crust is as good as all the bits that are covered with toppings.) See? I’m a neurotic pizza-eater. And apparently, so is Donald Trump, if his explanation of why he ate pizza with a fork across from Sarah Palin the other night is any indication.

After getting hit with jabs from Jon Stewart and others about his particularly stately method of eating a slice, he responded via video with an explanation of why he didn’t just jam it into his maw like the rest of New York:

A lot of people are asking why am I using plastic forks and knives that the pizza parlor gave. Well, I don’t walk around with forks and knives, and frankly, it was very comfortable. Plus, this way you can take the top of the pizza off so you’re not just eating the crust. I like to not eat the crust so we can keep the weight down at least as good as possible.

I understand, Donald. I doubt that’s going to win you points with Jon Stewart, but those of us who are also trying to keep our weight down “good” feel your pizza neurosis.

Check out his well-reasoned explanation (and thoughts on Sarah Palin), below:

Share This Post: