Over the years, I’ve laid to rest a lot of my body image issues. But they are not gone; it seems they continue to arise in new ways now that I’m a so-called “fat loss expert.”
As I was writing my first book, I took my role as expert seriously, and it didn’t just mean I needed the brains–I needed the body too, and I wanted perfection. I know what I’m doing in this regard, so I got straight to work tightening up my diet and revamping my workout routine. No sooner had I started, than all the body issues I thought I’d dealt with came pouring out from the dingy corners of my psyche.
I spent a year in pursuit of this perfect body, and despite how much progress I made on the outside, the inside started to feel worse and worse. I was over-training, working out on a torn hamstring, stressed out, not sleeping and feeling pretty miserable. No matter how lean I got, it wasn’t enough. My body fat percentage continued to drop, but those parts I hated before? I still kinda hated them. Would any amount of weight loss be enough? Would I ever feel like I was happy in this skin?
When my book, Ultimate You, was released last year, I was probably in my best shape ever, but despite all my efforts to “look the part,” a woman in Ohio reviewed my book on Amazon and tore me apart, saying I was too fat to have written an effective weight loss book. “If you watch the video clip here, you can see the belly fat roll and fat neck and cheeks of Dr. Kalanick, so this must not be working for her,” she said.* Her words were my worst fear was realized.
While you may never have been pubicly called fat, we’ve all felt fat, frumpy or downright yucky about our thighs, our tummy or our “fat cheeks.” The worst critique of our bodies usually comes right from our own heads. Sadly, nothing she said was something I hadn’t already thought about at one time or another. I couldn’t protect myself from someone else being cruel, but what about how cruel I could be to myself? That’s my own responsibility.
When the harsh words settled came my moment of reckoning: “So the worst happened, now what are you going to do with it?” I asked myself. The answers changed my life.