You know how annoying it is when your friend meets the man of her dreams? You have to watch them be all lovey-dovey and kissy-faced, let alone listen to her gush about how she “finally” met someone who was perfect in every way. Because, you know, you were never like that when you met Mr. Right.
Turns out, holding onto this delusional state—as annoying as it can be to those who have to listen to you—can not only positively affect your relationship, it could save your marriage down the road. In a new study published in the journal Psychological Science, researchers followed 222 newlyweds for three years—enough time, they say, for the “marital blahs” to set in. Over the course of that time, everyone started out relatively happy, but then that satisfaction declined—except for those who were most starry-eyed. Study leader and psychology professor at the State University of New York at Buffalo, Sandra Murray explains:
People who were the most idealistic about their partner in the beginning showed no decline at all in satisfaction over the first three years of marriage.
Not only does continuing to see Mr. Perfect as such help the longevity of the relationship, but when that feeling is reciprocated, you’ll end up happier and feeling better about yourself too. I mean, who doesn’t like a little idolizing from time to time, let alone having someone tell us we’re the absolute bomb diggity of their life?
This is not to say you should gloss over all of your partner’s annoying habits and occasional asshole-ness, but sometimes it’s better to ignore that dirty cereal bowl that gets left on the counter or the expanding waistline and put those rose-colored glasses back on.