It’s For Real: Jack-In-The-Box Bacon Milkshake Is A Big F-You To Our Health

jack-in-the-box bacon milkshake

It is official: fast food manufacturers are actively trying to kill you. What other explanation is there a limited-time offering that is sure to cause a coronary like the new bacon milkshake by Jack-in-the-Box? Yup. It’s real. And so is the horrible, horrible nutritional information…though the secret to the bacon-ness itself is definitely not.

Despite the alluring image of a sizzling slice of bacon beside the mammoth mountain of liquified ice cream product, the bacon milkshake (which is part of the company’s woefully misguided, pretty sexist “Marry Bacon” campaign) actually contains no bacon–just bacon-flavored syrup. Which is both good and bad–good, because this is not an actual milkshake made with meat, but also bad because, ostensibly, at least actual bacon might be less processed than whatever goes into bacon-flavored syrup. And while the bacon might be in flavor only, the calories, fat, and sugar are 100% real. And they are many, many strong.

In a 16 ounce bacon milkshake (if you include the whipped cream and cherry on top), there are 773 calories, which is about the amount you’d run on a 7-8 mile run. There are also 40 grams of fat (and 2 grams of trans fat!), 75 grams of sugar (about 3 days worth for the average woman–or, about 19 teaspoons), and even 319 mg of sodium, for good measure.

I’m not sure whether it’s pushback from the recent surge toward healthier thinking by many Americans (thanks, Michelle Obama!), or just because people love to find things to hang on to that make them quirky (though the SS Bacon Is Quirky sailed like 4 years ago when J&D’s started making bacon salt, mayo, and then, last year, lube), but, for some reason, the cultural love of putting bacon on everything has simply refused to die. I blame VooDoo Donuts, in Portland, who first publicly put bacon on a pedestal when they put bacon on a maple bar.

But, for whatever reason, this bacon-flavored milkshake is sure to bring all the boys (and probably a few girls) to the yard, if only out of curiosity. But, because this is quite possibly one of the least healthy offerings of all time, remember: curiosity killed the cat…or, in this case, caused the cardiac arrest.

Image: Jack-in-the-Box

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