After debating the very important news of whether Kim Kardashian really did have a hickey from Kanye West yesterday, the ladies on The Talk debated a much more interesting topic: If a wife withholds sex, is it OK for her husband to cheat? My initial response to the TV was hell no. But then, after listening to some of their comments, I started to see their point, even though I still didn’t agree.
Julie Chen starts out by asking,
Is there such a thing as a license to cheat?
She explained that a husband recently told an advice columnist that she’s too tired and too stressed to have sex. And when they do have sex, it’s “rushed” and “horrible”, he explained. So his solution? He cheats.
Does that mean withholding sex gives your partner a license to cheat?
Sharon Osbourne said only if they are given permission. Say what? She explained that if the guy says he wants and needs sex, and the woman says no, get it someplace else, then it’s OK.
To which Sara Gilbert replied:
I think it’s a license to break up. Cheating is such a weird non-solution.
The women went on to discuss the fact that there are circumstances or phases of a woman’s life when she doesn’t want sex–like when she’s working and taking care of the kids at the same time. Stress and fatigue can definitely play a role in a diminished–or non-existent–sex drive.
Gilbert went on to say that women do have a “responsibility” to have sex with their man (are we back in the 50s now?) and then Sheryl Underwood even went so far as to say guys should just take it while we’re sleeping (um, yeah, that’s a great thing to put out there). But everyone pretty much agreed that the solution is to talk about it with each other and come to some sort of mutual understanding. All of which sounds nice, but how realistic is that?
As we discussed last week, the asexual movement is growing. There was also a recent study showing that 15% of married couples have not had sex with their spouse within the last six months to a year. That same study also said that married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, and married people under 30 have sex about 111 times a year.
It just goes to show that every couple is different. And while some will lament on and on about a man’s need for sex, is it the duty of the wife to give it to him, even when she’s too tired and too stressed from trying to be the superwoman that our society pressures her into being? And if she doesn’t give in, then is it OK for the man to get it elsewhere?
Tell us what you think!
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