Crystal Light Energy, Crystal Light’s new “energy drink” for women, is out with a bizarre new ad campaign that implies just five calories is enough for women. Oh, and also enough to narrow the gender gap, according to their new ad campaign.
The ad starts out with a woman offering her friend some drink mix on the street (as we ladies are wont to do), describing it as a new energy drink…for women. Her friend lays into her about the inherent problems with saying that women can’t handle the same energy drinks that guys drink…just as two guys fly by on a scooter and swipe her purse. The Crystal Light chick then hunts them down in a pseudo-action scene and reclaims her purse (with Crystal Light intact, of course). Cue the punch line: “Just 5 calories, because you never know.”
Yes, it’s true: You never know when you might need more than zero calories; it’s a crazy world out there.
The company at least seems to have done a little research: The commercials are vaguely self-conscious about the fact that selling a women’s “energy” drink with five calories in it could be insulting to women who actually do want something to power us through a physically demanding day. But then, Crystal Light is unlikely to become a go-to drink for athletes…So instead, they settled on a target audience of women who don’t like calories or sexism. Makes…sense?
The website only confirms that the point of these drinks is to aid women obsessed with cutting calories and/or losing weight. Emblazoned with phrases like “stay slim” and “girl power,” they also promise to help you stay “on the go-go without the no-nos.” Unfortunately in this case, it seems the no-nos are calories; I would have thought it would be any number of the artificial sweeteners, flavorings, or colorings they use in their drink mixes.