Between the kids, the job, the house, the growing to-do list and that Blackberry or iPhone looming over you at all times, there’s little room for romance, and even less room for actual sex. If this scenario sounds familiar to you, I hope to inspire you to think differently and to take steps to get your “mojo” back. You may even be one of the millions of adults who experience sexual dysfunction, the incidence of which appears to be at an all-time high.
According to an extensive study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, the obesity epidemic is certainly not our only concern at this point. The results revealed that about 43 per cent of women and 30 per cent of men experience symptoms of sexual dysfunction, including lack of desire, arousal issues, decreased lubrication, inability to orgasm, painful intercourse or lack of enjoyment.
If you think sex has fallen away simply because you’re getting older, are not in a relationship or haven’t done it in a long time, think again. Pleasurable sex is something every adult should enjoy for a lifetime—with or without a partner. And remember, sex doesn’t mean intercourse alone. Masturbation (on your own or with a partner) and other forms of sexual play that get your hormones revving are definitely recommended.
Think and Become Sexy
Perhaps you are like so many women and men with a lowered sex drive (I know this is a common complaint or admission seen in my clinical practice). If so, the idea of “jumping” into an active sex life might be hard to imagine at this point. This can change, however, if you want it to. You can fuel sexual desire further with visualizations or small acts of intimacy. For instance, try thinking of positive words on waking—even if you don’t feel positive—like love, joy, peace, strength, happiness, beauty, etc. Next, tailor this simple exercise to help your lowered sex drive by adding words you find sexy—like hot, sensual, sultry or touchable. You can also slowly bring intimacy back into your life with activities to help you feel close and connected again, such as back rubs, foot rubs or date nights. I also recommend selected readings or DVD’s to stimulate your sexual thoughts or mood. Check out products that can be ordered online [at Good for Her or come as you are]. I also recommend the book Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel, especially for couples. Erotica stories can also be the catalyst behind driving your sex drive to another level; after all, most women are fueled by their imagination when it comes to intimacy. Pick up an assortment of stories and see what floats your boat. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Go Au Natural with the Right Remedies
If your sex life is stuck in neutral, you don’t have to live with it and you don’t necessarily need to turn to pharmaceuticals either. Here are a few simple tips you can try to get your love life back in gear:
Several supplements can be used to enhance the hormones involved in a healthy sex drive for men and women. Two herbs in particular, maca and ashwagandha, have shown promise for increasing libido in both sexes.
You can also consider a supplement from your health food store that includes one or more of these libido-boosting components:
- Deer Antler
- Tribulus terrestris
- Ginkgo biloba
- Horney Goat Weed
My previous supplement recommendations for increasing low testosterone or decreasing stress and high cortisol will also help to put your sex drive in gear. If your concern is associated with pre or peri-menopause, ask your doctor to check your progesterone on day 19 – 21 of your menstrual cycle and your estrogen on day 3 of your cycle. If low in one or both of those hormones (particularly estrogen), it may be the culprit. One study linked erectile dysfunction to Bisphenol-A, a chemical found in hard, clear plastic used to make everything from baby bottles to food packaging so performing a regular household and kitchen detox is a great step towards getting your love life back on track.
If you are currently experiencing vaginal dryness due to menopausal changes or low estrogen levels, the local use of an estriol cream or vaginal suppository can be very helpful. See your local compounding pharmacy, MD or ND for a assistance.
Look for a personal lubrication that is free of harmful or irritating chemicals, such as glycerin, parabens, phthalates, petroleum, propylene glycol, synthetic fragrances and colours. Instead, select an all natural, water-based lubricant such as Hathor lube, which has libido boosting properties including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng.