Sad news to report: Summer is half over. I’m certain many of you have been slacking off on your farmer’s tan and barefoot beach walking. If you’re like me you still haven’t tried out that low-cal popsicle recipe you tore out of Family Circle while waiting at your dentist’s office. Sadly, before we all know it, we’ll be itching our way to Christmas in boiled wool sweaters.
But don’t fret, dear friends, there’s still ample time to squeeze in a little summer bliss. Here’s my list of ten. Seeing as you all are some of the savviest of internet readers I’m skipping the usual suspects (i.e., drinking margaritas and mojitos until your face falls off, long drives on bug-infested country back roads, beach blanket bingo, etc.)
Admittedly, my list isn’t for everyone, but don’t be so lazy. Maybe try just one?
1. Move your butt
I’m so sick of being advised during summer months to take up running or biking. I already do both, and sometimes I get bored with my cardio routine. If there’s ever a time of the year to try something new it’s now. Here are a few options (and yes, I’ve done them all): kayak, trapeze, trampoline, water aerobics. Also rollerblades are so 1985 but I have to say they’re damn fun and do wonders for your ass. Seriously.
2. Purchase resort apparel
My grandmother shopped for almost everything at the end of its season. She bought wrapping paper in January, a winter coat in March and a crock pot in June. This is really the perfect time of the year to buy a few classic and good quality warm weather basics—strappy sandals, a really nice bikini, a pair of sunglasses that actually block out harmful rays. Right now they’re all deeply discounted. You’ve still got a few weeks to use them and then you’ll have them on the ready next summer.
3. Find your spot and cop a squat
The following is as twee as I’m willing to go with this post.
So, one sweaty August afternoon two summers ago, I claimed a spot on a bench at my local park. On this particular day, I was an especially sad, sweaty, sorry sack, made worse by the fact that I was now completely surrounded on all sides by screaming children and smelly dogs. And so I left my park perch and went walking through my 526-acre urban jungle on a search. I’d begun to lose hope and was contemplating relocating to my favorite dirty couch at Starbucks. Then after some time, lo and behold, I happened upon THE spot. There was nary a stroller print or dog turd in sight on the ground. The birds chirped and the trees swayed in the breeze, shading and waving and beckoning me. And now, dear friends, THAT is my summer spot and I’ve returned to it often but I speak of it to no one. The map is under lock and key. It’s all mine so go find your own.
4. Toenail art
This is all.
5. Eat some seasonal food
If you read this site, chances are you already know about healthy, bold, light, creative and delicious warm weather fare. But while I’m here, I’ll put in my two cents: Summer fruits. They’re a little bit of nirvana, the abundant sweet nectar is fleeting and off-season they’re expensive as hell. So go make a nice fruit salad. Here’s a handy chart to help you out.
6. Whistle at a construction worker
When the thermometer rises, the clothes get skimpier the street feedback tends to get skeevier. Now is as good a time as any to holla back.
7. Buy a car
Come September, car showrooms fill up with the newest models, making late August (and especially Labor Day weekend) the best times of the year to pick up some hot wheels.
8. Is this the summer you keep your bikini on at a nude beach?
Here are a few options if you’re ready to take the plunge.
9. Air-conditioned theater + stupid movie
Yes, I suppose when the temp is heading north of 90 degrees and humidity reaches 40 percent it’s a decent day for the beach. But I’m of the mind that sometimes the answer to summer on steroids is to hide away in an icebox and put on a sweater.
10. Stop complaining about the heat already.
Photo: flickr user Weed Whacker