Huh. This sure is something. According to reports from OK! Magazine, Kanye West has decided that Kim Kardashian is due to lose a few pounds. And that, in his infinite wisdom, she should do it the same way his BFF Beyonce did it for her role in Dreamgirls. Of course, for that part, Beyonce famously went on (and hated) the Master Cleanse, which is widely known to be the worst diet of all time, ever. And while the whole thing is probably pure celebrity gossip with little factual backing, now is as good a time as any to say, yet again, that a.) asking your spouse to lose weight for your own vain reasons is awful, and b.) the Master Cleanse is unbelievably stupid, unhealthy, and will turn you into a crazy person.
Here’s what OK! has to say:
“He even suggested Kim drop 20 pounds, arguing that Beyoncé has a similar shape and she proved you can get that supermodel body using her lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup diet,” a source tells OK!
“He says he wants her to be the face of his clothing line… but to do that she has to fit into the clothes,” the source reveals. “It’s really unbelievable — her shape is what made her name. He has a long-term fantasy of turning them into the new Beyoncé and Jay-Z power couple, but getting Kim to starve isn’t the way to do it.”
Sigh. Indeed, starvation is not the way. Nor is it a respectful thing to ask of a partner. But let’s just parse this out, one piece at a time.
Kim Kardashian is known–and respected–for her curvacious, healthy figure, so the recommendation that she lose weight is, on its face, pretty upsetting and uncool. It sends a not-good message to the millions of women who have been inspired by her non-traditional (but still amazing) body shape. It is bad news and also, sadly, kind of expected.
Additionally, asking a significant other to lose weight when they are, in fact, perfectly healthy, is pretty disrespectful. It’s one thing if you love a person and want them to start eating smarter or working out because you want them to live a long time–but asking that your loved one slim down so they can model your clothes? Not cool.
But it’s the method by which Kanye is suggesting that’s truly troubling. Maybe he doesn’t realize that a diet of spicy lemonade and laxatives isn’t good for the human body because I am fairly sure he is actually a cyborg who is constantly trying to mimic human behavior. Maybe he just wants to become Jay-Z. Or maybe he really is just such a jerk that he would rather have a slimmer girlfriend than a happy, healthy one.
Whatever the reason, it’s an awful idea. Because the Master Cleanse is terrible. It’s a disordered way to lose weight, it’s awful for the body, and it’s highly unsustainable. I know because I tried it, like a big idiot. Also, it will turn you into a stinky, sweaty weirdo that no one wants to be around. Your skin gets sallow, your hair looks icky, and the fact that you’re basically always pooping is very, very unflattering.
Confidential to Kanye West: If you want Kim Kardashian to go on the Master Cleanse so she can model your clothes, why not try it for a few weeks yourself? See how it goes for you. If that’s a way you’d want someone you love to feel, ever, then by all means, make this ridiculously cruel request of Kim. But otherwise, either find another model…or make bigger clothes.
Image via WENN.com