The other night, I posted a Facebook status saying “Let’s all celebrate our poor life decisions! Here’s mine: “In college (circa 2006) I would come home really drunk and stay up until 5 am reading Wikipedia entries of famous Nazis and chain smoking indoors while using a mug as an ashtray. Now you go.” And the responses came pouring in, hilariousness ranging from the substance-induced to the just-plain-dumb-because-you’re young kind of stuff.
(Clarification: I was interested in Nazis because I minored in Jewish Studies and have a longstanding interest in the Holocaust. Morbid, I know. And p.s. I don’t smoke anymore. )
For your humpday laugh-and-cringe-a-thon, here are a few of the responses I got (published with permission, of course).
“My junior year in college, when I had to rush to class and didn’t have time to brush my teeth, I would take a swig of peppermint schnapps and run out the door!”
“I dated a guy off campus and would come back to my dorm way too late to get a close parking spot, so I’d have to walk like a mile. I took the best-lit short cut — ON THE TRAIN TRACKS — while listening to my CD player.”
“[I lost] years of my life to an internet crush/eLationship. When he finally visited me, he shared with me plans to propose to his girlfriend, proceeded to spend the next year describing “strange dreams” he had about me. Cannot even say I got to cut ties with him as we just stopped talking. Oh, it eats me alive!”
“3 words–vodka chugging contests.”
“Getting drunk, sleeping at a frat house and then having to call the safe ride for a ride back to my dorm because I only had heels on, and they sent an ENTIRE EMPTY UNIVERSITY BUS to pick JUST ME up. I was wearing a slutty shirt and no coat and it was February. Most awkward bus ride ever?”
“Eating a live cicada for $20 and thinking it didn’t taste THAT bad.”
Are you laughing (and shaking your head out of disbelief) as much as I was? As funny and ridiculous as these anecdotes are, it’s good to share them. Looking back at these kinds of terrible/humorous stories can make you feel pretty great about how far you’ve come from your misbegotten youth (or, you know, last week. We’re not judging!)
Ok! Now it’s your turn. In the name of hilarious confessionalism, tell us all your poor life decisions, whether they’re health and wellness related or not!
Photo via 600 Block