Stress-Free Holiday Entertaining With Goop: Ceramic Fortune Cookie, Anyone?

“In order to avoid stress we girls at goop have put together a plan to make entertaining fun and stress-free,” writes Gwyneth Paltrow in the latest issue of her vanity publication. How sweet. And what might Gwynnie & the goop gang advise for less stressed holiday entertaining? Oh, just your run of the mill advice on bespoke stationary dinner menus and buying your ceramic fortune cookies in advance.

“For a special occasion, it’s nice to have your menu designed and printed out for you to display on the table. We asked our bespoke stationery friends over at Romeo + Jules to set ours into the beautiful menus below.”

Three days before a holiday dinner party, you should begin to plan your table: Figure out which dishware you’re using, polish up your silver. And why not stock up on a few of these porcelain fortune cookies?

“From Australian homeware site Society Inc., which specializes in making utilitarian beautiful, these are kind of brilliant for entertaining.”

Nothing says cutting back and avoiding stressful holiday nonsense like elaborate non-edible replicas of Asian food!  Or how about some disposable placemats and napkins that you stencil with your guests names? Not unnecessarily stressful at all.

Next up: Throw out all of the déclassé things in your fridge like actual food, beverages and condiments so you can concentrate on a minimalist display of the ingredients your servants you will be cooking.

“Organize all the ingredients for each course in one place,” says goop. “For example, for the Hanukkah Dinner latkes, place the egg, sour cream or crème fraiche and smoked salmon on the same shelf in the fridge.”  I mean, can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if someone caught you with the crème fraiche on the same shelf as the salsa verde?

But don’t worry, you’re almost ready, darlings. Time to put on your favorite monochrome sack dress or an old Hanes T-shirt with the pants from your Mrs. Claus costume.

Now just light a cashmere scented candle, prepare a whole roasted fish and potato apple latkes with smoked salmon and wait for your dinner party guests to roll in and comment on your brilliant ceramic fortune cookies.

… But what to talk about? ”The best questions to ask your guests to get discussion flowing are ones that everyone can relate to and find interesting to talk and hear about,” says goop.

“For when you can’t think of something yourself, these little boxes are awesome. The questions cards fuel interesting discussion and get everyone involved. They come in all sorts of themes, like Family, Girls Night, Dinner Party and so on.”

What’s sexier: Humor or kindness? Scintillating dinner conversation, folks.

Oh, and one last thing to help you stress less this holiday: For Christmas breakfast, DO NOT FORGET to open your red wine 2 hours in advance so it can breath. ”Decanting is a nice touch, but not necessary.”

So .. no Entenmann’s?

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    • http://www.facebook.com/jaimiebissell Jaimie Theriault

      This was brilliant!

    • luke

      this is a stupid article. the goop journal is quite thoughtful, as one should be with finer things in life. if it’s not your cup of tea, then stay away. quite sad to go out of your way to try to poke fun at nice, harmless (and free) information.