If you, like millions of other Americans, resolved to start 2013 by refocusing on your health, meet your Antichrist: Guy Fieri. While most new food products released this time of year cater to calorie counters, his new “Fresh n’ Frozen” frozen food line–which includes an “S’mores Indoors Pizza,” and “Crispy Cheeseburger Ravioli Bites”–is all but a “f**k you” to anyone who’s trying to watch their waistline or lay off the disgusting party food they’ve been eating since Thanksgiving.
Everyone still remembers the New York Times review of his Times Square restaurant, which basically dubbed his over-the-top menu of “American food” a national embarrassment. But he’s not apologizing for his junky take on American food; he’s spreading it via the freezer sections of Walmart and Sam’s Club.
If there’s anything to like about the Guy Fieri frozen food line, it’s that there’s absolutely no mistaking it for the junk food that it is. Because there’s really no way to market “Old Skool Pepperoni Pizza Eggrolls” as anything but stoner party food.
Check out a few of the Guy Fieri Fresh n’ Frozen offerings to get a full picture of the nastiness that will soon be available near you:
Philly Cheese Steak Eggrolls
S’Mores Indoors Pizza
Sausage Pizza Eggrolls