Thanksgiving was the first time I my mom’s cousin after she got weight loss surgery in Mexico. When I commented on how thin she was, she transformed into a bad infomercial: “You can be thin too! Just take $5,000 to Mexico. They’ll cut your stomach in half and you’ll be good to go.” Yup–it’s just that easy. A quick flight below the border, an illegal surgery and my nonexistent life savings to be supermodel thin… If only.
To understand my own struggle with weight (more about that here), it’s important to know that both of my parents’ extended families either have the slowest metabolisms ever, or an extreme aversion to any green foods (or possibly both). Every last relative of mine has been obese at some point in their lives. While some of them have dealt with it through exercise and healthy eating, some have turned to more extreme methods. Most recently, my aunt had lap band surgery, and then of course, there’s my mom’s cousin (the one who had her stomach cut off in Mexico).
Her sales pitches lasted all weekend, and while I mostly rolled my eyes, I have to admit I was slightly jealous of her quick fix. Here I was, counting calories and eating salads while she ate milkshakes for dinner. I woke up to run on the treadmill before breakfast, while she peacefully slept in. UNFAIR. (I got the same feeling when I read about a new training program at Equinox Gym-where I belong-that costs $25,000. Appropriate responses include: Shock, outrage. But for a hot second, I thought: “If only I had 25k, life would be so much easier.”)
But much as I love to watch Access Hollywood and stew over stories about celebrities who outsource their weight loss to home chefs and personal trainers, the thing is: I love my life.