I have always held a few things in life as things that only skinny people can do: Buying designer jeans, wearing a two-piece swimsuit and vacationing in Miami, to name a few.
I have no issues with other tropical vacation spots and love sleeveless dresses, short shorts and spending entire days in a bathing suitâ€¦just not in Miami. For some reason, it’s long been fixed as the holy grail of the beautiful and the skinny–and not a place that I belong.
But a few years ago my girlfriends and I decided to spend a couple of days in Miami before boarding a Labor Day cruise. I have never worked as hard at the gym as I did that summer. Everything I ate, every workout I completed was all with Miami in mind. I felt had to look a certain way to enjoy myself in the home of the beautiful and the fit. A week before we left for vacation, I hit my halfway weight, a number I hadn’t seen since junior high. I was ecstatic.
And when we arrived in Miami, I realized several things:
- It was just like any other city and I had made up this fake anxiety in my head.
- My friends were just happy to be with me on vacation; they didnâ€™t care what I wore or what I looked like.
- Regardless of location, how I carry myself is more important than what size I am.
Now â€“ donâ€™t get me wrong, I felt AMAZING that first night in Miami. But it wasn’t all about how I looked. Yes, I bought a new dress, wore my favorite heels and danced the night away. But most importantly, I felt confident, I felt happy and I had so much fun.
Last month, I found out I would be heading to Miami for work for five days this week. I leave tomorrow. I’ve been too busy to dwell on it…until my friend sent me a link to a club he wants to go to, and my inner self freaked out: â€śIâ€™m not skinny anymore. I canâ€™t go to Miami â€“ only the beautiful people are there! Is it possible to just hide in my hotel room??â€ť Questions and body issues and panic attacks have been swirling around in my head
Over the weekend, I even began to imagine ways that I could bail on the work trip entirely. A rare disease? A broken limb? A family emergency? In the end, I decided to tear apart my closet until I found three suitable outfits that passed my Miami litmus test.
As I pranced up and down my hall in an unending parade of high heels, silk and sequins, I realized that once again, I was letting my perception of my body limit me from things I love to do. I am spending unnecessary time worrying about something that can only be changed by getting off my ass and not worrying about it anymore. The bottom line? It doesnâ€™t matter whether Iâ€™m a size 6 or a 16; I can still go to Miami and have a blast. Lucky for me, I found several outfits during my hallway fashion show that will most definitely make me look great and feel great in Miami even if I donâ€™t have a flat stomach yet.
And to be honest, isnâ€™t that what Spanx are for anyway?
The weekly drill-down:
HIGH:Â Finding a brand new neon blue Banana Republic skirt that fits me to pack for Miami! (See picture)
LOW:Â It was the dreaded PMS week where every piece of fruit seems like death and chocolate is a girlâ€™s best friend.
+/-: -1 lb. Back in the saddle, slowly but surely.