Aside from the awesomeness that is Beyoncé and the Baltimore Ravens, the news today that is that Pizza Hut is introducing “pizza sliders.” Except that the “sliders” are 3.5 inches across, which is more the size of an English muffin than a one-bite appetizer.
A regular pizza personal pan pizza is 6 inches, so these are much smaller. The company says each one is about equivalent to one slice of regular pizza. You can order them in different toppings and in sets of 3 or 9 sliders.
Some people (most people) might argue that these are not technically sliders. A slider is actually a specific thing that is closely related to the hamburger, yet is not a mini-hamburger and is decidedly not a pizza.
Basically, the sliders are just mini-pizzas. Sliders of all kinds have been pretty popular in foodie circles for a few years, so I guess Pizza Hut thought they’d make a small pizza and call it a slider, capitalizing on the trend. Maybe it’s just me, but I tend to think of sliders as pretty mall, made for just a few bites. These babies sound like they’re a lot more than sliders.
While mini-pizzas are not at all the worst thing to come out of the fast food industry, it’s still frustrating that we live in a culture where companies like Pizza Hut and Baskin Robbins and Denny’s must unveil increasingly gross and gimmicky new menu items to keep people interested. Pizza Hut, in particular, just loves to sell pizzas with marketing ploys—let’s not forget the “F***K You Pizza” and the sausage or pepperoni debate, either. I’d like to think that Americans are smarter than to fall for these kinds of blatant marketing tactics, but if these numbers are any indication, I am dead wrong.
If you’re just dying to get a sample of a Pizza Hut slider (keep in mind you can probably make something similar in your own kitchen with an English muffin, some tomato sauce, and shredded cheese), you can do so Tuesday, Feb. 5, when customers can get free samples at participating locations. I know I’m not going to be beating down Pizza Hut’s doors for the pizza sliders, but if Pizza Hut’s marketing department has anything to say about it, the rest of American will be.
Photo: Pizza Hut