The Overlooked Health Benefits Of Semen


Earlier this month, I was amazed by the complexity of semen. I mean, here’s this potential nutritional powerhouse that men are just throwing away by the tissue-load daily! Not to mention all of you spitters out there … But what angle to take? Was it weird to just randomly blog about the nutritional content of semen? Probably. I put it out of mind—until today. Because today, Greatist has a post about Semen, Superfood. And I can’t remain silent any longer. Without further ado, ladies and gentleman: The overlooked health benefits and other things you probably didn’t realize about semen.

1. Every man’s semen is a precious snowflake. Really! Like with fingerprints or DNA, no two men share the same “seminal profile.” According to The Stranger, the average seminal plasma — that’s the stuff that comes out when a man ejaculates — is actually only 1% to 5% sperm. The rest is “a pharmacological hodgepodge” of hormones, neurotransmitters, endorphins and immunosuppressants. And whether you take it orally, anally or vaginally, semen can tweak and manipulate your own bodily processes when it’s absorbed.

2. It’s low-calorie. According to Greatist, one teaspoon of normal male ejaculation contains just five to 25 calories.

3. It’s high in vitamins and minerals. The levels of various vitamins and minerals in semen differs based on a man’s age, diet and lifestyle habits, but as a rule semen is high in vitamin C and vitamin B12 (you hear that vegans?) and minerals such as calcium, chlorine, magnesium, phosphorous, potassium and zinc. It also contains citric acid, fructose, sodium and lactic acid. But take heed: At a teaspoonful a pop, you’re gonna have to be sucking Rod Stewart levels of dick before meeting your recommended daily intake of any of these nutrients from seminal fluid.

4. It’s an antidepressant. At least one 2002 study says so. It found that women who were having sex without condoms were less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than those who frequently used condoms. Health editor PSA: Obviously, this is not a good reason not to use condoms. But it is interesting, no?

5. It’s a pregnancy primer. Data from heterosexual couples indicated that women with a history of regularly swallowing a male partner’s semen were less likely to experience certain pregnancy complications, such as preeclampsia (one of the leading causes of prenatal mortality and miscarriage). Scientists attribute this to “seminal priming theory,” which means that the mother’s immune system response has been primed to the paternal genome in the developing fetus by months or years of prior exposure to her baby daddy’s semen.

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    • Eileen

      …the age-old question: Can vegans swallow? Semen is, after all, an animal product. (As is breast milk)

      • Air

        Semen is cruelty free. Now as for breast milk, it is so that we can feed our children. One of the reasons why we vegans don’t eat animal milk is because that milk should be for the baby animal and not us humans.

      • Bill Wilson

        What do you mean, “should be”? According to who? God? If not, then who?

      • Air

        Seriously? The only reason an animal (including humans) produces milk is so that she can feed the child she just birthed. So the idea that a mother’s milk is intended for her child and not another species is an extremely valid argument. Why are you trying to bring god into this? I’m just talking science.

      • Deoxy

        The REASON it is produced, the INTENTION in its production is not in question, but in your original post, you used the word “should”.

        The reason plants produce energy from sunlight is to give them fuel for their own life processes. The intention is for them to consume it themselves. So, does that mean we shouldn’t eat plants, either?

        That’s the difference: “should”. And that’s produces the question, “‘Should’ according to whom?” It’s quite a simple and legitimate question.

      • Deoxy

        To put it slightly differently: there is no “should” in science.

      • arctic_front

        Since when did any sort of logic ever enter into the the minds of Liberals, Vegans or environmentalists?…. Logic is the modern ‘Holy Grail’.

        show me a lib/enviro that can describe what ‘logic’ even means…. they don’t exist. They are too busy proving what the term ‘ABSURD’ means…..or Hyperbole, or hypocrisy means… ‘credible’ is the word they all fear because they rely on junk-science to instill FEAR in people who can’t be bothered to PAY ATTENTION

      • Bill Gryan

        I think you meant to say there SHOULDN’T be a “should” in science.

      • Elizabeth

        It occurred to me the B12 allegedly in semen may only be present in that of non-vegans/vegetarians, but I’m not sure

    • Alex

      Absolutely, semen is given willingly (to say the least) which makes the ethical case against animal products largely null in this case.

    • Hannah

      …but did you have to use THAT stock photo? *gags*

    • Guest

      Stay classy.

    • Tina

      I would drink that glass of yummy man cream!