There are plenty of apps to choose from if you want to spice up life in the bedroom, but most of them are sexist and offensive, boring and useless, or just plain ridiculous—like iJiggles Your Mom, an app that lets you electronically jiggle certain parts of a female body. Or how about Pocket Girlfriend? This app—which was finally removed from the iTunes store—features a mini, digital girlfriend who’d ask to iron your things while flashing her midriff. Absurd.
Rummaging through the app garbage that is available might make you weep for humanity. But there are a few sex apps that actually fall into the useful, fun and sexy categories:
Female Orgasm Facts: The name says it all. Female Orgasm Facts is useful to read with your partner in bed—it might feel just a little bit cheesy, but getting under the covers and trying the techniques it suggests is the fun part. The app has the potential to clue you (and your partner) in to what sort of mood might allow for an orgasm, what kind of touch works and what positions are orgasm-inducing for you. Having the information right before your eyes yields new ideas and and playfulness, and it’s better than passive-aggressively leaving some sort of sex book out on the living room table and hoping your partnet gets the picture.
Sex Facts++: This app gives it to you straight (no pun intended, really). You’ll learn basics, like average penis size, how many calories are burned during sex, and where the G-spot is located. You’ll also learn what sort of man the longest flaccid penis (5.5. inches) belonged to, and which foods make semen taste bitter or sweet.
Big Book of Kamasutra: This app is pretty good if you want to get more sexually creative. It has an elegant violet design and sleek options, and offers plenty of positions from which to choose, all with modernized and quirky position names like The Mars Rover, Crossed Lovers and Bedside Manner. I guess the developers realized the original names were a little dull? There are also other categories, like oral, advanced, chair and lesbian. Some of the categories are locked, but paying .99 isn’t too bad, especially since the app really does provide interesting and useful sexual ideas. You can even log which ones you want to try and which ones you love. The same developers who made Big Book of Kamasutra made the Sex Position Decider Game, which is exactly as it sounds. If you’re undecided, you might want to give it a go—though if spontanaeity is your thing, this app has the ability to ruin that.
Dirty Game: This is a fun little app that can be used with two players or in a group. It prompts players to either do something (everything from kissing to stroking to licking) or admit something (it’s embedded with a game of truth or dare). While playing, dirty jokes pop up as well. If you’re using this in a group that isn’t exactly orgiastic, you can skip the physical aspect and simply opt for truth or dare.
Safe Sex: This might not be the sexiest app available, but it is super educational. I imagine the Safe Sex app could be excellent for both teens and adults, because it keeps useful, up-to-date contraception information for both men and women.