I Never, Ever, Ever Use Birth Control—Like, Ever. Am I Totally Crazy?

condoms hanging on a line

Birth control? Not me.

This is just a confession. I’m not right, nor am I trying to be a poster-child for anything. I’m not trying to say what I do is a good thing. In fact, this is me working out my own kinks and fears.

My reasoning for not using birth control is mostly irrational and while I know that I should be more intelligent about my reproductive health, I’ve got 27 years without using any contraceptive method under my belt—and I can’t add that I use condoms on a daily basis. I don’t.

A study showed that over 2 out of 5 women don’t use birth control either, but my reasons aren’t theirs. I’m not uninformed of the risk. I don’t believe I’m exempt from pregnancy or STDs (though I’m perplexed as to how I’ve had no scares) and for me, this has naught to do with lack of insurance. I’m also not afraid to talk to my Gyno.

So, truth be told: my partner has been asking me to use birth control since we started dating about a year ago. Past partners have just understood my rejection of birth control, but my current boyfriend and I are more synced sexually than anyone I’ve ever sexed up. Yes, I just said sexed up. He and I explore sexuality rabidly, as if it were an artform, and we both want to be able to experience sex fully (which I can’t say I felt with most other people)—for him, a part of that is being about to ejaculate without using the pull-out method, and, for me and him alike, it would be to eliminate worry from my sexual palette. But—for some reason—I just can’t go there. We’re both clean, and we’ve chosen the pull-out method.

I won’t say that I’m pressured into birth control because of a man, because at the end of the day, he respects my opinion, however annoying it must be for him (and risky for me). We’re both not religious and we both have no problem with abortion. I’ve never had an abortion, nor would I want to have one due to the emotions that I know I’d feel, but if I had to, I would. So, yup, I go into sex knowing the risk.

With partners prior, I did use condoms because of STDs, though I admit to faltering here and there. According to my friends, their experiences have been similar; not everyone has been safe 100% of the time. That isn’t a way of softening the reality of stupidity here. It’s simply a fact.

I can trace the root of my birth control rejection to one emotion: fear. While I’ve read of the risks of stroke due to birth control—like this supposedly healthy 30-year-old writer who had a stroke—I know it can be attributed to something deeper.

Share This Post:
    • Eileen

      Yes, you are totally insane and it was embarrassing for me, as a woman, to read this. I get not wanting to mess with your body chemistry, but that does not mean you should take no precautions to prevent pregnancy. I’ve avoided your posts since you first came on, but I just couldn’t resist one as stupid as this. If you don’t want to get pregnant, use some form of birth control. Condoms count. Condoms have no side effects and they are cheap and easily available. FAM counts, although it does require you to do a little work. Stop being an idiot and be at least slightly pro-active about your health.

      Finally, just because I hate the idea of doing nothing but dumping on you, get a Paragard. I’ve had mine for just over a year and it’s the best. There are basically no side effects and you don’t have to do anything for ten years after your initial visit and six-week follow-up.

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        I’ve heard of the paragard too, and I will look into it. As for embarrassing you as a woman, I apologize. I spend my days trying to fight for women’s justice, rights and happiness, and part of that is being able to exercise my right to speaking honestly about my own sexuality.

      • lifeofthrees

        I would definitely look at all the pros/cons of the paraguard. Many women do not do well with it and report heavy cramping and bleeding for months or even years after placement. You know your body best and I applaud you for doing what you feel is best for your health. Who are we to judge?

      • Clover

        Don’t let the brainwashed fools get you down, girl!

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        Might I ask why you “avoided my posts”?

      • Eileen

        Sure. I read one and thought it was boring and not very well informed. I tried another couple and thought the same thing. So I stopped reading.

        And “speaking honestly about your own sexuality” may be your right, but that doesn’t make you less irresponsible or the honest things you are saying any less stupid. And part of what sucks about being a “minority” group (which women count as, ridiculously enough) is that stupid things one member does or says makes other members look bad.

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        Ooh! I’m boring and uninformed. I’ll get on that.

      • Mary

        Don’t get your panties in a wad, sweetheart.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        True.

      • Clover

        Stop being a tool of the false feminazis. I bet you think being used as a human rubber doll is empowering. Stick to your paper chase, tool.

      • lindenlady

        Wow, Eileen. Tell us how you REALLY feel. Did Lisa not sit with you at the lunch table back in High School and now’s your chance to shine?
        Stop treating your body like a pillar of good examples we should all follow, and definitely stop it with the name calling. That is not what we readers go on here for.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        Thank you for your comment here!

      • china

        Basically no side effects except migration, penetration of uterine wall….falling out. Oh you know. ALSO, i am a 21 year old woman who REFUSES birth control. I am disgusted by your reaction. As a woman, you should understand, and respect her choice. Yet you degrade her, saying how embarrassed YOU are reading this? Then dont! I am not only embarrassed, but aldo ashamed to admit you are the same gender as i am. Lisa, keep doing what you are doing!!

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        China, I too think that the words used were unfair and cruel. It’s much easier to pass on birth control ideas and suggestions. Making me feel shamed and bad doesn’t help anyone. Thanks.

      • Mary

        You’re an idiot. Really. What do her choices matter to you anyway? “As a woman…” No, as a fool. Embarrassed? How about you try being happy she’s found HER way to be happy, comfortable, and empowered in her own sexuality? You sound like a feminist; try acting like one and be happy for her ability to be empowered without hormonal birth control screwing up her system. At least be consistent.

        It was embarrasing for me, as a woman, to read this comment.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        Thank you, Mary. I so appreciate this comment and your backing up what seems to be yet another trivial online bully.

    • Eileen

      Yes, you are totally insane and it was embarrassing for me, as a woman, to read this. I get not wanting to mess with your body chemistry, but that does not mean you should take no precautions to prevent pregnancy. I’ve avoided your posts since you first came on, but I just couldn’t resist one as stupid as this. If you don’t want to get pregnant, use some form of birth control. Condoms count. Condoms have no side effects and they are cheap and easily available. FAM counts, although it does require you to do a little work. Stop being an idiot and be at least slightly pro-active about your health.

      Finally, just because I hate the idea of doing nothing but dumping on you, get a Paragard. I’ve had mine for just over a year and it’s the best. There are basically no side effects and you don’t have to do anything for ten years after your initial visit and six-week follow-up.

    • Tavia

      I use this method too, with a couple qualifications – I always tell my partner I’m not on the pill, I almost always use condoms, and although my partners and I have not always been in the ideal place to have kids, we’ve both admitted we’d keep the kid if the stars aligned and we became a condom-or-pullout slippage percentage statistic. The flip side of this is that I’ve only ever slept with men I could tolerate the thought of having kids with – and they feel the same about me. Not the worst thing in the world, actually.

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        I too use condoms with partners who aren’t regular; I’ve had slip-ups and I know that’s a problem.

    • http://thoughtsonliberty.com/ Gina Luttrell

      Please look into getting a diaphragm. I hate using hormones and I’ve been using this for years and years. It’s got a 94% effectiveness rate at preventing pregnancy, which is much, much better than the risk you’re taking. No hormones, no pills, no nothing. I can understand your fear of drugs, but that is no reason not to look into every possible way of keeping you safe. Right now this just seems like an excuse. You can also try a non-hormonal IUD, like a paragard. Neither of these protect from STIs, but if you’re in a long term relationship and are getting tested regularly, you should be fine.

      Please do not let a phobia keep you from being safe!

    • http://thoughtsonliberty.com/ Gina Luttrell

      Please look into getting a diaphragm. I hate using hormones and I’ve been using this for years and years. It’s got a 94% effectiveness rate at preventing pregnancy, which is much, much better than the risk you’re taking. No hormones, no pills, no nothing. I can understand your fear of drugs, but that is no reason not to look into every possible way of keeping you safe. Right now this just seems like an excuse. You can also try a non-hormonal IUD, like a paragard. Neither of these protect from STIs, but if you’re in a long term relationship and are getting tested regularly, you should be fine.

      Please do not let a phobia keep you from being safe!

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        Thank you, ladies, for your suggestions. I will look into it!

      • Kayla

        I second the non-hormonal IUD suggestion. It’s not a drug, it’s a device that blocks semen from getting through your cervix. It’s more effective than either hormonal birth control or a diaphragm. Plus, there’s a new smaller IUD out tailored to women who have never given birth.

      • Clover

        What is this safe thing? She’s not sleeping with loads of people, so it’s not STDs. Why are babies so terrifying to people? Seriously. RUNNNNN it’s a BAAABY OMG.

    • http://sexandthestate.com/ Cathy Reisenwitz

      Get the implant. 3 years of not having to think about it. Very, very low dose of hormones. If you don’t like it, take it out.

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        Thank you. I’ll definitely consider it!

    • http://twitter.com/boy_trippy boy wonder

      what a dumbass

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        finely articulated.

    • cdodson17

      I bet more people make choices like yours than are willing to admit it. Thank you for sharing your story.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        I appreciate!

    • cdodson17

      I bet more people make choices like yours than are willing to admit it. Thank you for sharing your story.

    • anon

      I don’t think you’re crazy. I go on and off the pill depending on how sexually active I am (off for the same reasons that you don’t take it; on when I’m with a partner that I would like to not use condoms with). That said, I have not used condoms only with long-term, monogamous boyfriends whom I would trust with my life – because when you choose to have sex without a condom, that’s basically what you’re doing. No exceptions. I do think that a condom slip-up is pretty unacceptable, but I also came of age right at the start of the AIDS crisis. So, it wouldn’t even occur to me to not use one unless there’s a ton of trust and several long, serious conversations.

      As far as the pull-out method – depending on your boyfriend’s age, it’s actually pretty safe; according to Planned Parenthood, it’s 96% effective when it’s used perfectly. I would also recommend researching the rhythm method (although that takes a lot of planning).

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        Thanks a lot!

    • Nora Vote

      @ Eileen…”boring and not very well informed”? “Stupid”? Consider the source. (Publication, not author). This is blisstree, a platform intended for essentially casual consumption and entertainment; as such, it does not and cannot represent serious writers in their natural habitat. The author of this article is actually a gifted and accomplished poet and essayist whom you would do well to look up (if high-brow reading material– e.g., not obvious hack work slapped out for hire–encompasses your range of interests. Though, if you read posts on this website as avidly and regularly as your comment would indicate you do, I wouldn’t imagine this would be relevant to you. Visiting the Paris Review or Bookslut or something might be a good way to lose what appears to be your particular brand of critical virginity). I realize that pointing these things out is a waste of my time for precisely the reasons I’ve just cited, and I realize comments like the one I’m making are presumptuous, shabby, and tacky, but I truly weary of the unnecessary hostility of comments like yours. This piece is clearly a trifle self-deprecating and even intentionally humorous, in parts. It’s also, as its author states outright, “just a confession”… not a manifesto. Tea talk. Not sex education being espoused to impressionable young girls (or to anyone). If you have issues with it, fine, but you might want to find a more respectful way to express them. Or just throw a match on me and other posts you find “boring” (compared to what???) and carry on.

    • Nora Vote

      @ Eileen…”boring and not very well informed”? “Stupid”? Consider the source. (Publication, not author). This is blisstree, a platform intended for essentially casual consumption and entertainment; as such, it does not and cannot represent serious writers in their natural habitat. The author of this article is actually a gifted and accomplished poet and essayist whom you would do well to look up (if high-brow reading material– e.g., not obvious hack work slapped out for hire–encompasses your range of interests. Though, if you read posts on this website as avidly and regularly as your comment would indicate you do, I wouldn’t imagine this would be relevant to you. Visiting the Paris Review or Bookslut or something might be a good way to lose what appears to be your particular brand of critical virginity). I realize that pointing these things out is a waste of my time for precisely the reasons I’ve just cited, and I realize comments like the one I’m making are presumptuous, shabby, and tacky, but I truly weary of the unnecessary hostility of comments like yours. This piece is clearly a trifle self-deprecating and even intentionally humorous, in parts. It’s also, as its author states outright, “just a confession”… not a manifesto. Tea talk. Not sex education being espoused to impressionable young girls (or to anyone). If you have issues with it, fine, but you might want to find a more respectful way to express them. Or just throw a match on me and other posts you find “boring” (compared to what???) and carry on.

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        Thank you, Nora. “It’s also, as its author states outright, “just a confession”… not a manifesto. Tea talk. Not sex education being espoused to impressionable young girls (or to anyone). If you have issues with it, fine, but you might want to find a more respectful way to express them.”

    • Nora Vote

      I should add that the fear of medication is a very valid consideration, at least for me (as well). Two years ago, a good friend of mine died suddenly from the effects of prescription medication. She was not abusing the medication, or using it in any way other than as directed. Ever since, I’ve have a hard time taking even garden-variety scripts (antibiotics, etc) without freaking out, and I usually opt not to take anything unfamiliar unless absolutely necessary. I digress, and there’s an undeniable element of trauma and/or paranoia in said fear; but it’s not irrelevant–or unhealthy/unreasonable–to say that I’m also now aware of what I once so unquestioningly put into my body. We live in an overmedicated—indeed, blithely medicated (from doctors’ POV)—society, and birth control, theoretically, is no exception. And, while most of us, including me, are alive today only because we live in a century of lifesaving medical developments, the philosophy of chemistry-altering medication as “common sense” and basic responsibility…in this case, as it applies to reproductive health…is far from an airtight one.

    • Sarah G.

      Lisa, I’ve been charting my fertility for over six months — ever since I accidentally skipped a month of birth control and felt my libido go CRAZY. I realized that birth control had made me (a newlywed!) as sexually shriveled as a raisin that fell out of the box and got left in the back of the pantry. At least, compared to what I am naturally, which is apparently voracious.

      My newlywed sex life has experienced a complete turnaround since I went off the pill and started paying closer attention to my body. All I did was read a book (Taking Charge of Your Fertility) and buy a thermometer. Really, that’s it. I have an app on my phone where I record my basal body temperature every morning. It tells my when I’m ovulating. For six days a month, we have oral sex instead of vaginal.

      And seriously: It’s great. My husband shows a genuine interest in my cycle. I know why I’m feeling certain ways at certain times of the month (Oh, that coworker is suddenly sexy to me? Interesting.), I know when I’m going to get my period (historically a problematic issue for me, and likely many other women), I know what different kinds of vaginal discharge mean, I know what that little pain in my side means.

      Really, it’s the best thing I ever did for my body. I could go on and on about my ethical reasons for standing by this method, too, but I’ll leave that for you to consider on your own.

      Taking Charge of Your Fertility, Lisa Marie. Seriously. This is the solution.

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        Thank you for sharing, Sarah. I appreciate!

    • Hate Stupid Girls

      it’s very clear as she stated that she’s never had an abortion, bc had she, she surely would see the emotional pain from that would far far far out-weigh any phobia
      of hormone bc or condoms she might have.

      Honestly i find her stupid for doing what she does and hope she never has to pay the price for her stupidity. Simply that is what it is – stupid- having knowledge and not using is stupid.

      • http://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieBasile Lisa Marie Basile

        Why does everyone assume that I would go through with a pregnancy, and/or, have an abortion happily? Why does everyone have to use the term, ‘stupid?’ I’ve been many things in my life, and stupid isn’t one of them.

    • Croft

      It amazes me how personally people are taking this article. If Lisa wants to gamble with her body well, let her and her boyfriend suffer the consequences. I will say there are viable birth control options out there, some more costly than others, but none as expensive as an unplanned pregnancy. Food for thought.

      • Mary

        The life of a newborn child is NOT a consequence; it’s a blessing.

      • meteor_echo

        For you – perhaps. Not for everybody, though.

      • meteor_echo

        For you – perhaps. Not for everybody, though.

    • T92

      I am 20 years old and had a brief stint with hormonal birth control. Like you, I hate the idea of messing with my body’s chemistry. After many arguments with my nurse (since there’s still illogical apprehension), I was able to get Paragard. Natural birth control methods like tracking fertility is just not reasonable and like condoms, kills the fun & spontaneity of sex. The insertion was not pleasant and you may have to get the strings trimmed since sometimes it can hurt your partner, but that is a minor consequence compared to the stress of having a child or going through an abortion. I hope we get an update on this subject later!

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        I wrote a follow-up to the reactions, but I’m definitely looking into modes of BC now. I appreciate your note!

    • Amelia

      Have you ever considered using a copper IUD? I am also averse to hormonal birth control and hate using condoms with my partner. a copper IUD is a non-hormonal form of contraception. Your doctor may try to dissuade you from using this method because they prefer this method for women who have already had a child (I don’t know why), but if you have a good doctor s/he will support your decision. I haven’t had any children yet, and I love the security of knowing that when I want one I can get it removed and start trying for babies the next day.

      If this is still too invasive for you, then I definitely support using the book Taking Charge of your Fertility. This would also be a great way to relieve the worry of getting pregnant and be free to focus on your lovin’. It’s not 100% (nothing is, except not doing it blah blah blah), but it would give you a much greater peace of mind than you have now!

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        A few people suggested it, definitely picking it up! Thank you!

    • Max

      It’s strange that you simultaneously admit this is based on an irrational feeling and also bother to pursue other reasoned modes of defense. Yours is an opinion rooted in an eccentricity, which is fine. That being said, why in the world does it need to be stated if you’re already not dealing in the currency of human discourse: logic? Do your thing, but don’t pretend it’s anything but an internal and uncommunicable nuance of your personality. Obviously everyone responding with hate is employing the same shoddy rationale you are readily admitting to, but without the shield of self-awareness. While self-awareness is pretty dope, and kudos on maybe possessing it to a greater extent than your readers, this article is masturbatory and silly because there is an inherent contradiction in even bothering to put such sentiments into language. It’s like a written defense of racism. Any objective, denotational reading will make it seem ludicrous, and any empathetic reading will fail because of the subjectivity of the forces at work.

      On a side note, this reveals an extreme conservatism in your person. I’d liken it to those who don’t fly on airplanes, despite being fully aware that getting their cars out of their own driveways is much more lethal. It is, ironically, the kind of super fearful, anti-intellectual bias that would have made it impossible for you to write your article 50 years ago. If we want to live in a society where we don’t have to worry about being raped for the sake of reproduction or getting savaged by a sabertooth tiger, that society is going to be built on a departure from nature. Obvs…

    • Max

      It’s strange that you simultaneously admit this is based on an irrational feeling and also bother to pursue other reasoned modes of defense. Yours is an opinion rooted in an eccentricity, which is fine. That being said, why in the world does it need to be stated if you’re already not dealing in the currency of human discourse: logic? Do your thing, but don’t pretend it’s anything but an internal and uncommunicable nuance of your personality. Obviously everyone responding with hate is employing the same shoddy rationale you are readily admitting to, but without the shield of self-awareness. While self-awareness is pretty dope, and kudos on maybe possessing it to a greater extent than your readers, this article is masturbatory and silly because there is an inherent contradiction in even bothering to put such sentiments into language. It’s like a written defense of racism. Any objective, denotational reading will make it seem ludicrous, and any empathetic reading will fail because of the subjectivity of the forces at work.

      On a side note, this reveals an extreme conservatism in your person. I’d liken it to those who don’t fly on airplanes, despite being fully aware that getting their cars out of their own driveways is much more lethal. It is, ironically, the kind of super fearful, anti-intellectual bias that would have made it impossible for you to write your article 50 years ago. If we want to live in a society where we don’t have to worry about being raped for the sake of reproduction or getting savaged by a sabertooth tiger, that society is going to be built on a departure from nature. Obvs…

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        A conservativism, maybe. But I’m working on it. As for masturbatory, I write for websites. I’m supposed indulge in details.

    • E.

      I don’t think you’re crazy. Birth control hormones do crazy things to your body, like weight gain or mood swings. I was in a 2 year relationship with a guy I trusted, and while we used condoms at first, we eventually switched to the pull-out method only. He and I discussed whether or not I should go on birth control, and we both agreed we didn’t want it. We were careful and I never once had a pregnancy scare while we dated.

      In contrast, during my most recent relationship I was on the Nuva Ring for about a year and a half. I’ll admit, it was nice for my partner not to have to pull out at the end. I chose the ring because it was the lowest dose of hormones, and I never really had a problem while on it. Coming off the Nuva Ring was different. I went two entire months without a period, and then had bad cramps and two back to back. The ring absolutely screwed with my system.

      What sort of birth control (or lack of) is up to you and your partner alone. If you and your partner know the risks, no one else has the right to comment. Live your own life, and if you have nothing good to say, keep your mouth shut. Isn’t that what your mothers taught you?

    • E.

      I don’t think you’re crazy. Birth control hormones do crazy things to your body, like weight gain or mood swings. I was in a 2 year relationship with a guy I trusted, and while we used condoms at first, we eventually switched to the pull-out method only. He and I discussed whether or not I should go on birth control, and we both agreed we didn’t want it. We were careful and I never once had a pregnancy scare while we dated.

      In contrast, during my most recent relationship I was on the Nuva Ring for about a year and a half. I’ll admit, it was nice for my partner not to have to pull out at the end. I chose the ring because it was the lowest dose of hormones, and I never really had a problem while on it. Coming off the Nuva Ring was different. I went two entire months without a period, and then had bad cramps and two back to back. The ring absolutely screwed with my system.

      What sort of birth control (or lack of) is up to you and your partner alone. If you and your partner know the risks, no one else has the right to comment. Live your own life, and if you have nothing good to say, keep your mouth shut. Isn’t that what your mothers taught you?

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        oh gosh, you know, the internet welcomes bullies. I appreciate your note here. Helpful!

    • Donna

      Pregnancy is only possible for roughly one week in the month, an STI can happen any day of the year. I’d be more worried about that. Since you’re lax with your casual sex too, I hope you get tested regularly and also have your pap smears done. For all you know, you’re HIV +ve? :-/

      • BJH

        The first part of your first sentence is categorically untrue.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        I’ve been lax once or twice. I’ve been tested and re-tested every year, and yes, I am fine. Thank you.

    • WH

      I took birth control pills in my late teens/early twenties. When I went off of them, I did not have my period–for years. I talked to my college nurse about this, and she ran some tests on my hormone levels; next thing I knew, I was having an MRI for a suspected brain tumor. Turns out, I was tumor-free. But the nurse and I never pursued the issue further.

      After the stress of that hassle, I never followed up on the amenorrhea issue. I was told that sometimes women who go off of birth control can go without their period for a while, up to a year. But it has been only in the past year or so, five years after I stopped taking the pill, that I’ve started having my period somewhat regularly.

      I should have followed up on this issue, but I have spent a lot of the past several years traveling, and I have also not had health insurance. And I have had no other noticeable symptoms of any sort of related illness. Perhaps I could have gotten some information that would have explained this strange phenomenon. As it is, all I’ve ended up with is a strong antipathy toward cramming my body full of hormones. I totally understand this part of your perspective–there’s something strange about the fact that so many women so casually flood their bodies with substances that override their natural cycles, with little understanding publicly available of the consequences of these actions.

      On the other hand–condoms? Why not? Cheap, easy, way less awkward than telling your partner you refuse to protect yourself effectively against STDs and pregnancy. Not so sure I understand that part of your perspective. You have been with partners that accept you even when you refuse all forms of birth control. If there is something that makes you uncomfortable about condoms, it sounds like your current partner would be more than willing to work through those issues with you.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        Thanks for sharing, I appreciate the candidness of it all and your suggestion.

    • Kayla

      Haha, the author has another post about resisting her family’s pressure to have kids! Your family cannot get you pregnant, Lisa, but your uterus can. Focus on that.

      http://www.blisstree.com/2013/04/15/sex-relationships/enough-already-stop-calling-me-selfish-just-because-i-dont-want-children-yet/

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        Yeah, I’m aware how science works. Two different posts.

    • CM

      You should be using ibuprofen instead of tylenol. Iburprofen reduces inflammation, which contributes to the pain.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        Thanks, CM!

    • Bunny

      Sadly I am not shocked at the just plain rude and immature comments posted as replies to your opinion. Name calling? Really, Eileen, you are the one that should be ashamed. You’re a bully. (Although Lisa, your title did invite people to comment on their opinion of your sanity. “Be careful what you ask for”, right?)

      Our society does enjoy extended, happier and healthier lives because of the advancements in science, medical technology and chemistry, but we tend to forget that every pill has side effects and some things we just don’t know yet the long-term of how these chemicals will affect us. Some things may seem innocuous now, but every day it seems some pharmaceutical company is under heat for making a medication that caused more harm than good to masses of people. If your concern is based in being aware of the hormonal changes birth control has over your body, PLEASE consider using non-hormonal methods of birth control other than early withdrawal. There are condoms, also diaphragms, and Paraguard. You claim you would be reluctant to get an abortion, but seem more than prepared for this as a “consequence” of an accidental pregnancy. I am pro-choice, but with the stipulation that abortion should not be used as “substitute birth-control”. That is just morally–and medically inappropriate. An abortion is not a casual thing, medically. It’s rare, but things can go wrong even in the best of hands. The rhythm method, in my limited experience and expertise, is unreliable. I know a woman who is happily married and wanted children, but was using this method to plan when her children were born, and 3/4 pregnancies happened at inopportune times. A 75% fail rate is not a great advertisement, IMHO. Maybe you have been lucky so far but this is dangerous territory if you are not fully prepared to pay the piper. Talk to your gyno about this. get more educated so that *YOU* are fully comfortable with your choice of what to use and when to use it. Don’t rely on the web for advice or opinions from non-experts like us.

      • Mary

        The rhythm method is highly effective if used properly. The woman you’re talking about probably didn’t abstain while she was fertile.

        I know a couple who have been married for 20+ years. The rhythm method is all they’ve ever used. They never wanted children, nor do they have any. They have two sweet dogs and that’s it.

        Did this woman you know ever take classes on the rhythm method? She probably tried to do it on her own with no formal training.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        Thank you for this. Definitely helpful! I appreciate the mature response, too!

    • copper12

      No, I don’t think you’re “crazy” for not wanting to take birth control pills. I think it’s understandable to be concerned about what goes into your body and given your experience with the cold pills I can see why you wouldn’t want to take unnecessary meds. I do think you might be a LITTLE crazy for not wanting a child and still having unprotected sex. As Bunny said, neither abortion nor carrying a child to term is exactly easy on the body. But I don’t think that makes you “stupid” or whatever Eileen said. Ill-informed maybe, but the fact that you’re asking for suggestions proves you aren’t stupid.

      I second the suggestions others have made about Paragard. It’s a hormone-free method that is both effective and safe. However, if you do go that route you should have frequent followup visits to the gyno over the first year or so to make sure that your uterus hasn’t expelled it. This only happens about 5% of the time, but it happens more often to women who have never given birth. After a year it’s not likely to come out if it hasn’t already.

    • Mary

      No, this is great! You are taking control of your own sexuality! Hormonal birth control really screws you up. Really. Your libido shrivels up and dies. Use condoms if you must, but if you know the “consequences” of unprotected sex, and won’t kill the child you conceived, have at it.

    • Alex

      You are not insane. Hormonal birth control caused my gall bladder to fail at age 26. If you are in a monogamous relationship, use a copper IUD. All it consists of is copper. Copper is already in your body. Placing it in your uterus immobilizes sperm and prevents implantation. It is more effective than having one’s tubes tied. There are some GYNs who won’t give an IUD to a woman who has never had a child because it takes a little more skill working with a cervix that has never dilated, but you can find one who will, especially if you are completely honest with the physician about your feelings about hormonal birth control risks. If you can’t find an MD on your own, ask nurses who work in labor and delivery. They know many details about every doctor who delivers in their hospitals, and will help find the right provider for you. BTW, we tried the pull-out method, too. It worked for 4 months; now I have one kid and one copper IUD! 8 years later, no worries, no more babies, and happy love life … :) Did I mention that, once in place, it is proven to be effective for 12 years? BONUS!!!

      • Alex

        Okay, now after all of the hatred spewed by others I see that someone has already recommended the Paragard. If you research it, you will see that it is the number one choice of female OBGYNs in the USA when selecting birth control for themselves. I cannot speak for everyone, but once the IUD was in place for a week or so, it never bothered me again. My periods are normal and predictable. If you live near Canada, you can get a mini version of the copper IUD there. It was designed for women who have not had a baby in mind. My cousin in Buffalo drove to Toronto for it and is very pleased.

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        Thanks a lot!

    • Alice

      Stupid is a harsh word to use, and it is very much within your right to not use any form of contraception if that is your wish. However, that all said, not using any is not exactly a “smart” or a “good” choice. Simply because by using contraception, you are in better control of your own health. Im happy to hear you have no qualms visiting your gyno, and I really do hope you look at contraception devices that you feel you might be more comfortable with. Personally, I like to be in control of my own health. Despite condoms, I use contraception (I have the implanon in my arm) because I want to have the control. At the end of the day, if I end up pregnant or with an STD I alone suffer the FULL extent and the consequences.

      You seem like an intelligent woman, so my objective to a lack of contraception is not specifically aimed at you, but rather aimed more so at today’s youth. Although you seem to be fully aware of the potential consequences of your actions (and also that the “pull out” method isn’t a guarantee of no pregnancy” – many people are not. A lack of responsibility about ones own sexual health can have life changing consequences, and contraceptives allow people to engage more freely in sexual activities more safely.

      So, despite my respect towards you for taking charge of your own sexual health, I wont ever advocate a sex life without the use of contraception. To me, with the wrong people, it can be dangerous, live changing, and “stupid” all around.

      Take care :)

    • Alice

      Stupid is a harsh word to use, and it is very much within your right to not use any form of contraception if that is your wish. However, that all said, not using any is not exactly a “smart” or a “good” choice. Simply because by using contraception, you are in better control of your own health. Im happy to hear you have no qualms visiting your gyno, and I really do hope you look at contraception devices that you feel you might be more comfortable with. Personally, I like to be in control of my own health. Despite condoms, I use contraception (I have the implanon in my arm) because I want to have the control. At the end of the day, if I end up pregnant or with an STD I alone suffer the FULL extent and the consequences.

      You seem like an intelligent woman, so my objective to a lack of contraception is not specifically aimed at you, but rather aimed more so at today’s youth. Although you seem to be fully aware of the potential consequences of your actions (and also that the “pull out” method isn’t a guarantee of no pregnancy” – many people are not. A lack of responsibility about ones own sexual health can have life changing consequences, and contraceptives allow people to engage more freely in sexual activities more safely.

      So, despite my respect towards you for taking charge of your own sexual health, I wont ever advocate a sex life without the use of contraception. To me, with the wrong people, it can be dangerous, live changing, and “stupid” all around.

      Take care :)

      • Lisa Marie Basile

        I thank you for this response—appreciate it!

    • Lisa Marie Basile

      Thanks to everyone who commented and added suggestions. I’m definitely considering methods. I appreciate all the mature, kind responses received here.

    • Clover

      Birth control can suck it. Seriously, it’s part of a fake world.

      I’m not religious, BTW. Love our daughter. <3
      http://www.unlessthelordmagazine.com/articles/choosing_your_children.htm

      • Clover

        I don’t shave, I don’t use drugs either of any kind, drink, I don’t sleep around, I think school (I took two and a half years of University and studied Arabic in Egypt) and slave waging is bullshit, and I’ve wandered Burning Man and various other festivals without clothing. Brainwashed assholes everywhere, I had to rewash mine myself. Power to you!

    • Marie

      I tried hormonal birth control in my early twenties and it was an awful experience. Threw everything out of whack to the point where my body was acting as if it was going through menopause. Seriously, it sucked and I still am recovering from the damage years later (the hormones thinned and dried the lining of my vaginal walls making sex painful and even causing some tears. Now I’m struggling to overcome the vaginismus due to those previous experiences). So I get not wanting to use hormonal BC, I’ve sworn off it too. Condoms for me or the pull out method. Maybe I’m naive but I feel that is good enough for my husband and I. If a baby happens, ok! It sounds like you’re moving toward finding the right BC for you (beyond condoms). I’m happy people took the time to make suggestions instead of just tear you down. I’ll admit what you were (are?) doing sounds like a risky way to live in terms of diseases but hey, that is my opinion and it is your life. Best of luck and thanks for starting a conversation.

    • Marie

      I tried hormonal birth control in my early twenties and it was an awful experience. Threw everything out of whack to the point where my body was acting as if it was going through menopause. Seriously, it sucked and I still am recovering from the damage years later (the hormones thinned and dried the lining of my vaginal walls making sex painful and even causing some tears. Now I’m struggling to overcome the vaginismus due to those previous experiences). So I get not wanting to use hormonal BC, I’ve sworn off it too. Condoms for me or the pull out method. Maybe I’m naive but I feel that is good enough for my husband and I. If a baby happens, ok! It sounds like you’re moving toward finding the right BC for you (beyond condoms). I’m happy people took the time to make suggestions instead of just tear you down. I’ll admit what you were (are?) doing sounds like a risky way to live in terms of diseases but hey, that is my opinion and it is your life. Best of luck and thanks for starting a conversation.

    • Marie

      I tried hormonal birth control in my early twenties and it was an awful experience. Threw everything out of whack to the point where my body was acting as if it was going through menopause. Seriously, it sucked and I still am recovering from the damage years later (the hormones thinned and dried the lining of my vaginal walls making sex painful and even causing some tears. Now I’m struggling to overcome the vaginismus due to those previous experiences). So I get not wanting to use hormonal BC, I’ve sworn off it too. Condoms for me or the pull out method. Maybe I’m naive but I feel that is good enough for my husband and I. If a baby happens, ok! It sounds like you’re moving toward finding the right BC for you (beyond condoms). I’m happy people took the time to make suggestions instead of just tear you down. I’ll admit what you were (are?) doing sounds like a risky way to live in terms of diseases but hey, that is my opinion and it is your life. Best of luck and thanks for starting a conversation.

    • Misseik

      Same boat here. 11 years. Exclusive pull out method. Not one accident or scare.
      Love my body, my husband and our intimate life.
      The pill made me mad, depressed. I just know it!
      Thanks for sharing :)

    • Ashley T

      I too am very against birth control. I have had bad reactions to all types even the lowest dose of birth control my doctor could give me. I am currently on the depo shot, my second injection is sept 3rd but I will NOT be going to get it. I have gained 10 pounds already and I have horrible acne. Worst symptom though is the depression and mood swings. I am constantly doubting my relationship of three years and I think it mostly come down to my lack of feeling beautiful. Ever since I started the birth control my anorexic thoughts have come back full force. With all that being said, I only went on birth control because of my mothers bullying (which has finally stopped due to going to family concealing) and my boyfriend wanting me to get on it despritly. I release now that I have to make myself happy not others.

      I believe in women should have the right to have a choice in everything in this world. For me I choice not to be on any form of birth control. I also believe in natural herbs can cure better then medication for common cold and flus so I opt out on anything for colds, flu, pain, ext. I have used the pull out method while tracking my cycle on an iPhone app. It worked till my I pad randomly deleted it and other apps. I have been pregnant 3 times and all three times with the same guy! They all however ended in miscarriages.

    • Crystal

      - inserting my two cents-
      Ahem, I would like to let you know that stumbling onto your post here has made me feel better about myself.
      I too am just as ‘insane’ as you..granted I havent been doing it for long (three years or so)
      I like to be in control of my body and dont like taking drugs.
      My reasoning is different though.. all my life death has been around me and evey person i have lost has been due to some form of medical issue due to drugs they need..in turn those drugs that help end up destroying something else…id eather just avoid them all together.
      I dont want to be a sheep and follow the ways of society if I dont feel comfortable doing it. .this is my body and no one else should care so much on how i live my life, it’s not effecting them so they can bugger on off.
      Not everything that is invented is necessarily a good thing…and sometimes we dont find that out till after the fact

    • thatonechick

      I’ve never used birth control and I never want to use birth control. It may be an irrational fear of mine, but I’ve seen the side effects. I’m crazy enough as it is with my own hormones… pumping my body with even more is not an option for me. I’m glad I found someone who understands my point of view, because most girls think I’m crazy. My sister has been on birth control since she was 16, and now, 10 years later, she has 4 kids. So the way I see it, it doesn’t make a difference anyhow.

    • Jazmine

      I am 24 and i have never taken birth control either! Mine are for similar reasons but a little different. I am a heavy set girl and almost all birth controls can cause some form of weight gain which I initially didn’t want but also what played a role was the fact that I have a really regular and very light cycle compared to my mom and sister who would sometimes barely be able to get out of bed when they started there cycle and the idea of a birth control changing that seemed pointless i had no desire to mess that flow up. But almost all of this stems from a fear of medicine as well my mom had a life threading illness around the time i entered middle school from taking medication for either the flu or pneumonia I cant exactly remember but she had an allergic reaction to the sulfa drugs/medications which caused her to get Steven Johnson syndrome which could have almost did kill her. Ever since that time of seeing her having to recover and a very baldy timed life threatening illness i have had a irrational (although i consider it warranted) fear of medications so if i do not absolutely have to take medication i choose not to.

    • Glen Victoria

      i am Victoria Glen from USA i want to say hallelujah to lord for using Dr Babaka of babaka.wolf@gmail.com to bless my womb, i have been married for the past 10year without a child i have look for all kind of help that can make me get pregnant but nothing works, but through an insight i came across Dr Babaka profile at the internet when i was searching for help on how i can get a baby, Quickly i contacted him to help me out, he said he will cast a spell that will make me sleep with my partner and get pregnant so he said he need to buy some of the other items he will use in casting the spell from the market that he want me to send him the money he will use in buying the items so i gave him the money and he cast the spell for me and ask me to go and lie with my partner so i did to my greatest surprise i became pregnant after that week so with so much joy in my heart i want to share this out to everyone in need that i have found favor in the hands of Dr Babaka of babaka.wolf@gmail.com, contact him now to via email : babaka.wolf@gmail.com

    • Vanessa

      Interesting that you’re afraid of the risks of birth control to your body, but are unconcerned of the risks to another small humans body (no matter how small or at what stage of development) from abortion.

      • K

        What I’m worried about is that she hasn’t done her research as to what happens in an abortion. If it’s an early term pregancy they have you take drugs and you usually pass the fetus yourself. Yikes! If it is a late term abortion, they usually have to suction and use drugs to put you to sleep or stop excessive bleeding. Either way, if you’re planning to have an abortion in an effort to avoid drugs, it isn’t a very valid view. Please please do more research.

    • Sue

      I am actually in the exact same boat as you. I have no idea why but I have always avoided birth control, i have never had an issue with pills nor has anyone in my family but it honestly felt like I wrote this post. Nice to know I’m not the only one out there.