Cher Horowitz taught us that anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is a good thing. But what about things that draw people’s mouths to you? I’m talking about sex accessories and toys that can be eaten.
I wouldn’t know because I’m boring, but I’ve heard that you can snack and have sexy time at the same time. Food is sensual, apparently. As far as I’m concerned, eating and sex are only related because they both make me feel guilty afterwards. But I sort of get why they can be seamlessly combined: like sex, eating involves holes and urges and pleasure. Like food, sex can be beautiful or abject. Both can be enjoyed alone or with a friend. Sure, you can indulge on some classic aphrodisiacs, but it’s 2013 and we now have foods that are deliberately and specifically sex related.
Do people actually use these or are they just like gag-gift bachelorette party fare? Sex toys generally strike me as cheesy, but even the lamest pair of fuzzy handcuffs looks legit next to sex whipped cream. Speaking of cheesy, I noticed that there are practically no savory sex toy foods to be found, all of the edibles seem to be sweet. What’s the deal with that?
On another note, if people do actually use these edibles, are they delicious? Like, if I buy a pot of body chocolate am I going to forget all about Nutella? I have to assume that spreads manufactured to be eaten erotically aren’t as delicious as their asexual counterparts.
Anyway, here are 10 sex toys you can eat, you cheesy pervert: