Okay, what even are Superfoods? Though the name makes them sound like foods that wear a capes and save metropolises from mayhem, they’re actually just normal foods. “Superfood” is actually just health-food game jargon for low calorie yet nutrient rich foods that benefit well-being and health big time.
At first, I was intimidated by superfoods. Why do people think they’re so super? Am I worthy of their superiority? They’re super for a lot of reasons and yes I am worthy–so are you. We don’t have to eat sad fruit snacks and cheese inspired crackers shaped like fish, eating real food doesn’t even have to be inconvenient. If you have the resources, you can eat superfoods. I’m a super-lazy super-idiot and even I can incorporate at least the following superfoods into my snack routine.
These 5 superfoods are great for lunch box snacks:
1) Low-Fat Yogurt- Super properties: protein, probiotics, yogurt is allegedly good for bone health, potentially good for ulcers, and lowers cholesterol.
Toss other superfoods like nuts and berries in there if that’s what you’re into! Customize it with raw honey or seeds. Do whatever you want to your yogurt; see if I care.
2) Nuts- Super properties: Loaded with healthy fats, anti aging properties and other rad benefits depending on the nut.
Did you know that nuts can be delicious even when they aren’t covered in brownie or salted to oblivion? I want to become that asshole that just munches on plain nuts throughout the day. Like, if I feel a little peaked, instead of going to the pizzeria, I’ll just grab my little pouch of plain almonds and nibble until satiation.
3) Quinoa- Super properties: Tasty, filling, high fiber and protein rich.
Like yogurt, this ancient grain is a superfood you can load up with other superfoods. People make a lot of jokes about quinoa being a favorite of Portlandia style jerk-offs, jerk-offs with food allergies and other jerk-off-hippie-nightmares, but don’t even joke about quinoa. It’s seriously delicious.
4) Chia Seed Pudding-Super Properties: Omega 3 Fatty Acids, protein, good fats & fiber.
So easy to make that I actually make it instead of just thinking about it. I like to mix cacao powder or pumpkin pie spice into mine. Also I use almond milk because I’m fancy. Chia seed pudding tastes like alien egg pudding. Delicious.
5) Dark Chocolate- Super properties: Low on the glycemic index, anti oxidant rich, anti aging properties, good for cardiovascular health.
Sometimes I feel like the only philistine who can’t even pretend that dark chocolate tastes better than milk chocolate. It’s chocolate and it’s delicious, but I’m not going to act like the dark stuff is as indulgent and tasty as the kind that’s filled with milk and sugar. Anyway, dark chocolate is fun because you can pretend it’s medicinal. Just cram some dark chocolate squares in your bag and you can snack on them and affect elegant taste while you’re at it. OR you can crumble some into your chia seed pudding or yogurt or pouch of raw, unsalted nuts. Superfoods make mixing and matching so effing easy!
What are your favorite superfoods? I like all the different fruits and green foods. What snacks would you eat if you weren’t trying to sexily live forever? I’d only eat pizza day in and day out.