10 Freaky Penis Facts To Weird You Out

many different bananasThey’re sometimes squishy, sometimes aggressive, fleshy, one holed nightmare rods. Objectively speaking, penises are weird as fuck. The whole human organism is a freak-show, but organ wise, penises are off the charts in terms of weirdness. Penis-wielding types (men) are sometimes so fucking sensitive about their precious members, but other times they use them for violence. The whole organ is contradictory and unsettling, but what would we do without them?

Have at these 10 freaky penis facts and keep in mind how many people every day are walking around with these things nonchalantly dangling in their pants:

  1. There are about 100 dudes on the planet right now affected by a condition called diphallus and they have two penises. Two penises. One human. You do the math?
  2. The signal to ejaculate comes from a man’s spine and not his brain. The brain’s lack of involvement is not even sort of surprising.
  3. The smallest recorded human penis was allegedly 0.39 inches. Imagine jerking off a penis that size.
  4. Currently, the (unofficial) world’s largest penis belongs to a dude called Jonah Falcon. It’s 9 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches erect. Imagine jerking off a penis that size.
  5. One dude had an erection for a decade after a goofed up penis enlargement procedure. He got $40 grand out of the dick debacle.
  6. Koro a.k.a. “penis panic” is a mass hysteria event that leads many men in certain populations to believe their wieners have vanished.
  7. A hanged man will get a hard on. They call this the death erection or angel lust.
  8. Some (practical) people have ithyphallophobia which is a fear of boners.
  9. Allegedly 0.0025% of men are capable of orally pleasuring themselves, but 100% have probably tried.
  10. There’s a penis museum in Iceland and I want to go there for uhh, cultural reasons.

Vaginas are also completely alien and bizarre, but that’s a list for another day, like the day I become emotionally equipped to confront the monster between my legs.

Sources [1] [2][3][4][5]

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    • Alyson Melody

      One of my bros-in-law has been to the penis museum. There is a wonderful picture of him standing next to a whale penis.

    • Jonah Falcon

      “It’s 9 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches erect. Imagine jerking off a penis that size.”

      I’ll try.

      • Tom

        I would like to watch. And the new Human penis museum would love to eventually own your penis and balls for display. When you’re done jerking off.

    • Tom

      And the American who donated his big penis (named Elmo) and balls to the Iceland penis museum is also a nice guy. We know.

      Imagine jerking off when your penis is on the opposite side of the planet!

    • REALLY

      I honestly don’t think this guy has the biggest penis in the world. I know of one guy at least this big who is far to decent and modest to run around on various shows waving around his monster for money.

    • Accalia Carmen

      The monster between your legs? Good Goddess, take a mirror and go look at your vagina! Then watch The Vagina Monologues. LOVE your vagina. Repeat.

    • LightningGuy

      Another weird penis fact: too many men neglect the health of
      their favorite organ! More men need to
      use a top drawer penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man
      Oil) to help keep their members in better health.