10 Halloween Costumes That Will Impress Pretentious Foodies

Ina GartenOh man, Halloween is approaching so rapidly. If you love food or know anyone who does and you don’t yet have a costume, this list is for you.
Foodies are everywhere and there are so many different kinds of them–indulgent gourmands, the clean eaters, the food trendoids, the obsessively adventurous–you can’t escape people who are fixated on food and hellbent on proving they are better at eating than you are. You definitely know them; you probably are one. Since Halloween is the perfect holiday to prove that you are down with the zeitgeist, you should use it to show other affected people that you so have your finger on the pulse. Do it with a foodie costume.
Remember, when you’re trying to impress pretentious people, you have to act like you aren’t trying at all. Trying is embarrassing. You have to be aggressively apathetic like you have better things to worry about than a flawless Halloween costume. Feel free to phone it in as though you were too busy watching The Food Network and seasoning your skillet to give a damn.
Here are 10 Halloween costumes that will surely impress your foodie friends:
  1. Food Blogger- Carry a camera and a snack. Take ages photographing any cocktail or morsel you decide to consume.
  2. Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking- This is one of the most famous cookbooks of all time with a cult following to be reckoned with. Wear turquoise clothes, a beret and carry a rolling pin.
  3. Instagram of Food- Dress up as any food your heart desires but all in sepia tones or black and white.
  4. Cronut- Buy a bunch of novelty plastic donuts and croissants for kids and hot glue them to yourself. Done.
  5. Squid Ink- Sport all black everything, tape a picture of a squid to yourself and add a hefty price tag.
  6. Ina Garten- Wear a giant denim shirt, pearl earring, a bobbed brown wig and go without shoes if you can swing it safely (she’s the barefoot contessa, guys). Or you could just wear an angel costume.
  7. Dietary Restriction- Dress all clean and sanctimonious-like in a Gwyneth Paltrow sort of way. Decline almost any food offered to you and say something like “I wish I could, but I’m gluten-free and that will definitely give me diarrhea.”
  8. Le Creuset Cookware- Dress all in one bright and beautiful color, iron a Le Creuset logo onto your top. Wear your hair in a top knot like it’s the knob on a lid.
  9. Super Food- Dress like a super food and add a cape. Easy peasy.
  10. Perfect Pairing- This is a couples costume. You or your honey dress like your favorite food and the other one dresses like a bottle of whatever wine would pair best with the meal.

If you decide to wear any foodie related costume this Halloween, be sure to take pictures and email them over to us!

Image via Getty

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    • Dani

      I was really hoping to like this article, but was unimpressed with your “No. 7- Dietary Restrictions” suggestion. As someone who has worked in a university residence I know first hand how alienating it can be to attend an event that does not have inclusive food; many individuals feel to decline the food would be to bring negative attention to themselves and so either decide not to go to the event at all or to eat the food and suffer the uncomfortable consequences later. Dietary needs were commonplace before Gwyneth Paltrow and will certainly continue long after she is gone- to that affect maybe you could celebrate the efforts being made to ensure everyone can enjoy Halloween: http://www.healthfulpursuit.com/health-oween/

      • Sara Bara Bobara

        Good comment Dani and I’m with you!

      • Joanna Rafael

        Maybe I should have put “self imposed dietary restrictions.” I’m sorry I bummed you out.

    • Renee

      i’m going to zombie up, wear a hosp gown (prob over a snowsuit cuz i’m from WI) w/ labels of the top monsanto food companies: kraft, nabisco, coca-cola, pepsi, frito lay, etc stuck on it and hand out pamphlets of the dangers of big food companies!

    • Mamajoni

      Is it possible that you bear a grudge against celebs?