When I was in High School and first noticed that I had developed a little bit of cellulite, the boogey man of lady magazines, I flipped out. Then one day in 10th grade history, I noticed that a very thin girl who I considered outrageously sexy had some cellulite too and I calmed down a tiny bit. I didn’t calm down entirely because I’m selfish and who cares if my peers, Scarlet Johansson, Kate Moss and whoever else has it? All that matters to me is that I hate my thighs. I’m aware enough now that I’m an adult that it’s ridiculous to hate myself over some indentations on my butt and I should stop punishing myself for being normal, but I’ve internalized all of these myths about cellulite that have been repeated ad nauseum.
There are so many lies about cellulite that we’ve been told to make us hate ourselves/buy things. As many lies as there are humiliating nicknames for cellulite, like orange peel syndrome or whatever. Like the genuinely idiotic nicknames, these myths tend to perpetuate the idea that cellulite is both an ailment and something you can control. Basically, they are lies that are asking you to believe that cellulite is a condition and if you have it, it’s your own damn fault–if you take better care of yourself, you won’t be plagued by your own flesh. It’s nonsense.
Here are some of the lies we’ve been told about cellulite and the actual truth:
Girl, you should buy this lotion/potion/cream/salve/magical pair of compression leggings if you want to get rid of your cellulite. Similar to the effects of a tan, most lotions just reduce the appearance of cellulite very temporarily by decreasing the amount of light reflecting off of the dimples in the skin. Nothing topical treatment will actually do anything real.
Girl, if you have cellulite, you must be a full of toxins. The whole toxin-game is straight up hooey. You aren’t impure. Cellulite is caused by connective tissue, fat and skin, not your filthiness.
Girl, cellulite only happens to fat people. Well, word on the street is that about 98% of women have cellulite. 98% of women aren’t fat. Thin women get it too. Even models. Losing weight may or may not reduce the appearance of cellulite.
Girl, cellulite is fat. WRONG. It’s fiber and fat. The fibrous strands of connective tissue indent over fat cells and appear as cellulite. It will happen to some even with the thinnest layer of fat.
Girl, you need to get off your lazy, cellulitey ass. Some physically fit people have it. Most probably. Exercise and healthy habits might help, but they might not. Again, cellulite isn’t just fat. All the cardio in the world might make you feel better even if it doesn’t get rid of your butt dimples.
Girl, get some liposuction–it’s the easy way out of this cellulite ridden prison of your own body. Not. There are some (expensive and time consuming) treatments for cellulite, but lipo isn’t one of them. Healthy habits like eating right, working out and not indulging in cigarettes, booze and the like might help, even if they don’t, you probably will like the way you feel.
You don’t have to love your cellulite, you don’t even have to like it, but you probably should accept it. If you can stand it on other people, you can stand it on yourself. If you can’t stand it on other people, you need to get a grip.