The decent people at The Huffington Post asked their readers to submit Things You Should Never Say To A Curvy Woman and came up with 23, well 22 (one was duplicated in the list) examples of rude things curvy women do not want to hear.
Based on the original list, I am pretty sure in this instance curvy means fat. I’m not plus sized and I have a bigmouth, so lists like this can actually help me out. One of the examples of what not to say admittedly did surprise me*, but I’m going to try and understand it because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings or run around being a jerk, so I’m glad to know what is not okay to say.
I’ll let the use of curvy (the most annoying euphemism of all time) and their sort of thin shaming definition of curvy women as “girls who aren’t rail thin” slide for the time being so that we can go over what you can say instead of the 23 things you should never say to curvy girls, because being a jerk sucks and we can all do better.
Here are 23 tolerable alternatives to 22 size related comments you should never make:
- Instead of “You have such a pretty face,” you should say “You are pretty.”
- Instead of “You should wear black,” you should say “You should wear whatever you damn well please.”
- Instead of “You’re a big girl,” you should just keep your mouth shut and think about why you’re such an anus, even though there is nothing wrong with being big or being small.
- Instead of “Have you ever thought about lap band surgery?” you should say “Can I sit on your lap?”
- Instead of “I don’t have a problem with bigger girls,” you should say “Do you have a problem with D-bags?”
- Instead of “You’re big-boned, that’s all,” you should say “You are bad to the bone and you can get it!”
- Instead of “If you ate less, you’d lose the weight,” you should say “Eat whatever you want because your diet is none of my business.”
- Instead of “What happened?” you should explain yourself because I’m pretty confused–what happened when?
- Instead of “I wish I enjoyed food like you” you should say “I wish I enjoyed life like you do.”
- Instead of “Don’t worry, I like thick girls,” you should say “I like you.”
- Instead of “Have you ever tried losing weight” you should say “Wouldn’t it be weird if I gave a fuck about your eating habits?”
- Instead of “You shouldn’t eat that” you should say “Can I have a bite?”
- *Instead of “You look fine the way you are”…wait, why is this one a problem? Can someone explain? I guess maybe don’t talk about people’s appearances because it’s superficial.
- They repeated “You shouldn’t eat that” so if you feel compelled to say that a second time try this one: “I have no boundaries or manners.”
- Instead of “Did you gain weight because you’re afraid of attracting men” you should say “Beauty standards are the worst. No one wins.”
- Instead of “You’d be so pretty if you lose weight,” try out “You’re so pretty.”
- Instead of “When are you due?” you should say “I wanna get you pregnant. You look good.”
- Instead of “My friend lost so much weight on this great diet,” you should say “How screwy would it be if I discussed other people’s health and bodies with you right now?”
- Instead of “If you slimmed down, you’d be really sexy,” you should say “Confidence is sexy and I wouldn’t want to shake yours up.”
- Instead of “Have you checked your cholesterol recently?” you should say “I never went to medical school.”
- Instead of “You should try to be healthier,” you should say “Here’s to our health and happiness.”
- Instead of “You shouldn’t wear stripes/polka dots/floral prints,” you should say “You shouldn’t wear swastikas/confederate flags.”
- Instead of “You’d be dateable if you lost weight,” you should say “You’re a catch.”
Not being a jerk doesn’t have to be difficult.
Via Huffington Post//Image via Fox