• Wed, Nov 6 - 1:15 pm ET

Losing Weight Might Ruin Your Relationship

schmidt-elizabeth-office-w724When you love someone, you want them to be their best self, feel happy and live forever, but you also want them to never change and to always be the person you fell in love with, right?

Researchers as University of Texas and North Carolina State University conducted a study that reveals a depressing side effect to losing weight while in a relationship. Their results suggest that drawbacks like a loss of intimacy, resentment and tension occur if one partner is resistant to the other’s shift in lifestyle. Weight loss, after all, can be kind of a big deal.

The study went a little something like this:

Researchers surveyed 21 couples from across the country. One partner in each couple had experienced at least a 30-pound weight loss in the time span of less than two years. Reasons for weight loss varied from diet and exercise to medical procedures. Each member of the couple described the effects of weight loss on their relationship.

One of the authors of the study claims that “The fact that in some cases there are these negative repercussions was surprising” because  “when people lose weight, they usually expect their relationships to get better.” Despite the researcher’s surprise, considering the reasons why there are drawbacks to a significant weight reduction in some relationships, it’s not such a surprise.

If both partners were on board for “healthy changes” the pair reported an increase in intimacy and better communication. Problems occurred if “problems occurred, it appeared as if one individual began to focus their self-identity around their healthy diet and activity, and the other did not.” If just one member of the relationship decided to make the changes, they reported tense changes. When just one partner decided to take measures to improve their lives, the other could feel pressure to change as well, prompting feelings of sexual insecurity, threatened by their partner’s newfound confidence. On the other side of the relationship, someone might wonder why their other half is resisting making positive lifestyle changes in kind.

Of course significant lifestyles changes in just one party and resistance to change in the other would cause issues in a relationship. We want to be with people who are like us, but we also want to be with people as we fell in love with them. Sure, some people can grow with their love, but some go in new directions. What matters most, I suppose, is that people in relationships support each other in fresh endeavors, avoid sabotage and also avoid being dick-bags to their boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives, whether or not they decide to get fit.

via Daily Texan//Image via

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  • Mel

    I gained about 60 pounds with my last pregnancy and we both went on a diet afterwards. We were both losing weight, but he did so really fast. I was so mad and insecure. I was also losing weight, but I was still overweight, while he just got hotter and hotter….I can see how that is reallybad for a relationship.

  • Katie

    Having lost a significant amount of weight since I got married I have found both positives and negatives. My husband is very encouraging and supportive. However the extra time I spend at the gym after work most days causes tension, as well as resentment on my end when he doesn’t want to eat healthy or work out. However, every couple will have problems with something, and marriage is about making it work and compromising and in the end I believe it will make our relationship stronger.