Men Fake Orgasms More Often Than You Think, Maybe More Often Than You Fake Orgasms

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A recent and totally legitimate, scientific , peer reviewed, statistically sound, study poll conducted by Australia’s The Sunday Telegraph has revealed the truth about the real battle of the sexes: who fakes orgasms more. Popular culture may have you believe that women are the theatrical frauds of the boudoir, but alas, according to the poll, you’ve been lied to. Men are performing Oscar worthy faux-orgasms too. They must be very stealth, you know because of the byproduct of their orgasms. I wonder how they do it!

Anyway, The Sunday Telegraph polled more than 1,200 readers in order to determine the groundbreaking The survey yielded wild results! Apparently, amongst those 1,200 readers, 23% of men confessed to faking a climax, but only 20.6% of women admitted to the same sexual hoodwink. According to TopNews, previous US surveys have yielded similar results. One based on 1,080 men suggests that a quarter of men deceive their partners into thinking they totally came. My whole world has been turned upside down. What next? Dogs and cats living together? Mass hysteria!

Debby Herbenick, Co-Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, attempts to explain such a Twilight Zone style twist of expectation. Here are some of Herbenick’s theories as to why men would fake orgasms:

 ”To help their partner’s ego,

to not hurt their partner’s feelings,

to end sex so that they can go to sleep or go home”

All of those reasons are totally understandable and mostly line up with reasons why women have historically been the big phony orgasmers. But, it doesn’t have to be this way. No one, male or female or otherwise should have to lie about whether or not they freaking climaxed to avoid hurting feelings or ending a sexual encounter that isn’t doing it for them.

The 3% difference between the number of men and women who admitted to a poll that they fake orgasms is insignificant. The issue isn’t “which gender is full of sex-liars” but rather “why do so many people feel the need to fake it?”  Maybe if we all acknowledged that intercourse doesn’t have to have a grand finale in order to be good sex or sex at all it would take some pressure off, possibly enabling more people to have genuine orgasms, and definitely enabling people to be more honest about their sexual pleasures.

via Telegraph//Image via When Harry Met Sally (1989)

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    • Fabel

      I think it’s just the idea that sex isn’t “done” unless both parties orgasm— & that both parties need to orgasm every time? And most people feel that being like, “I’m not getting there, but can we stop for now, I’m tired” isn’t really sexy; it’s more sexy to be like, “UHHH uh UHHH YES YES sighhh yes” in order to conclude the banging. (I’m not saying it’s right; these are just my thoughts)

      • Julia Sonenshein

        I think you’re totally right, and we need to come up with some better (sexier) language for appreciating the middle part as well as the end!

    • Elizabeth Alexander

      I just feel it’s important to point out that ejaculation and orgasm are not the same thing. Men can orgasm without ejaculating and vice versa even thought they usually are combined. So it would actually be easier for a man to fake an orgasm than we think. Either way, like you said, it is still pretty sad that people continue to fake it.

      • Chuck

        Thank you! I cannot believe many people do not know the difference between ejaculation and an orgasm. I’m not proud to admit, but I have faked orgasm in the past for the reasons mentioned in this article.

    • pattya

      thank you! sex doesn’t have to end in orgasm to be amazing. i can have a hard time climaxing but i love having sex and i have had some extremely hot and satisfying sex that didn’t make me orgasm. if more people understood this it would be great. it took my last gf awhile to not take it personally. i have found the best thing to do is be upfront about this with my partners that way i insure that we are on the same page and can have a healthy and satisfying sex life that works for both of us. also, i would be faking a lot of orgasms and that just seems exhausting.