The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show airs tomorrow night! The lingerie and prop-wing spectacular is supposed to be about lingerie, but it tends to be about celebrity and hot bods. Year after year after year, the media asks the participating models about how they prepare their famous bodies for the night of a million sequins. The Angels tend to respond to questions about their diet and fitness regimens either by being brutally honest and saying it’s very hard work, or claiming they don’t really have to do anything. No matter what, their answers are awfully easy to judge. It’s easy to be frustrated with celebrities who have no choice but to talk about their bodies all the time.
We’re rating a tiny sampling of Victoria’s Secret Angels’ alleged diets on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 means “Seems legit” and 10 means “That’s some bullshit.” Join me on this journey*:
Lindsay Ellingson: “I wouldn’t say it’s a diet- it’s just like a lifestyle. I like to eat healthy organic foods, lots of vegetables. I love juicing. I love adding cold press juices to my daily routine. I get them from Juice Press or Organic Ave. it’s very convenient because it can be delivered to your house. It’s so healthy. You feel so energized. I’ve actually stopped drinking coffee because these juices energize me and make me feel even better”
Rating: 5. I appreciate that she admits that her version of a diet (drinking expensive Juice Press or Organic ave and eating organic) is a lifestyle.
Alessandra Ambrosio: “I’ll be eating healthy and I’ll watch what I’m eating. I will eat salads and greens and juices, I love green juices. I will cut down on cakes and all that other bad stuff.”
Rating: 2. Healthy attitude, healthy diet!
Lily Aldridge: “I don’t really diet. I just eat a lot of clean food.”
Rating: 3. I buy it, but eating clean is still a little bit of a diet.
Doutzen Kroes: “Strict sugar- and carb-free meal plan and spending many extra minutes a day jumping rope. For other fashion shows you can be skinny, but for Victoria’s Secret, you need definition.”
Rating: 2. How many extra minutes though?
Erin Heatherton: “I try to resist temptation as often as possible. I remind myself that end result of giving into temptations is often not worth the expense.”
Rating: 3. She’s keeping it real, and for her the end result is not getting to work, but for most people giving in to temptation won’t cost them their jobs.
Chanel Iman (who has had to gain weight for past shows): “I drink a lot of protein shakes and do a lot of weight lifting” the day before the show she has “a big potluck at my house. All my friends bring over food and we barbecue and party it up!”
Rating: 5. This is a five because I can’t tell if she’s gloating or just being real.
Adriana Lima- Right before the show and after 9 days of no solids, she consumes, ”No liquids at all so you dry out, sometimes you can lose up to eight pounds just from that.”
Rating: 1. Insanely honest, but legitimately horrifying.
Final judgments: These ladies aren’t as annoying as I thought. I suppose it’s just irritating that they are constantly being harangued for diet and exercise secrets as if people didn’t already know that all the personal trainers, organic food, and financial motivation in the world won’t give them Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show style bodies. Tune in tonight!
*There is so much out there that I had to be very choosy about which quotations to judge. If you search the web for any of these women or the fashion show, it seems as though the lion’s share of info our there is about their bodies and the work that goes into them.