It’s tonight! Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready. It’s like there’s Christmas magic in everyone’s eyes, only it’s not Christmas and instead of presents and cheer, there will be Swarovski crystal encrusted boobs and Swarovski crystal encrusted wings.
The tackiest spectacle of the year has finally arrived and here I am, holed up in my house without a television. Tonight, I’m going to have to live-stream the show off of the inertnet like some sort of criminal! If you’re not a loser-without-a-TV-set like yours truly, gather some supplies (beers and bottles) and some buddies and get ready to drink. It’s time to get wasted and play the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2013 Drinking Game.
Prepare to get trashed:
One drink whenever you notice egregious booty tooching
Or aggressive hip popping.
A shot for every culturally appropriative outfit
And every outfit inspired by nudity
A sip if an outfit is somehow infantalizing (candy, bows)
Pick an Angel and take a drink whenever you see her:
- Primp back stage
- Wear wings
- Blow a kiss
Bottoms up when Taylor Swift showboats and poses unnecessarily.
Take a drink for the Royal Fantasy Bra on Candice Swanepoel
Finish your drink if someone falls.
Kill your drink once you think you’ve seen the most outlandish get-up of the evening. If something more garish comes out, start a new beer.
Tune in tonight on CBS!