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The Santa Claus Diet

santa claus dietSanta is famous for being a triple threat: giver of gifts, reverse cat burglar, famous body-haver. We can’t all expect to have figures like Santa. Maintaining that look is part of his job! Like all celebrities, instead of caring about what he does, let’s talk about his body.

Santa Claus doesn’t get his famous physique simply by bingeing on cookies that strangers leave out for him on Christmas Eve.

Old Kris Kringle has a strict eating plan to keep him fitting in that fuzzy red suit and to keep him light enough that those reindeer can drag his ass around Christmas after Christmas. That sleigh full of presents isn’t light, so Santa has to be on his toes to keep himself positively Jolly without going overboard. What’s his secret to keeping that belly full of jelly but not too much jelly? Cookies are a once a year treat.

I asked Saint Nick to share a typical page of his food diary with me; here’s what it said:

Breakfast-

Coffee with Eggnog instead of cream and sugar

Pancakes shaped like snowflakes with powdered sugar snow on top

Two strips of caribou bacon

Morning snack-

Sugar plums

Lunch-

Caribou bacon BLT

Afternoon snack-

North Pole Style Poutine

Dinner-

Full traditional Christmas dinner (he rotates between different regional customs)

After dinner cocktail-

Mulled wine

I don’t know if I could handle Santa’s diet, but I don’t have a bunch of elves on my beck and call making sure I stick to it.

Image via Shutterstock

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  • http://www.TheSanta.im/ Santa Claus

    Instead, you may be interested in reading THE SANTA DIET, a complete diet for physical, emotional, and spiritual health, by Santa Claus, MA, when it’s published in 2014: (TheSantaDiet) TheSantaClaus on Facebook. Merry Christmas!