Etsy Fails: Insulting, Sexist, And WTF Workout Tops

workoutThere are a lot of ways to dress to exercise. There’s no reason to not have your own signature gym look to shvitz all over. I’m a fan of the grimy old band shirt, dirty leggings and grimace combination; I call it the workout-gremlin look, but you have cuter options; at the gym you can also style yourself like fitness-Barbie, a Lululemon lady, even Britney Spears…or you can look like a tacky weirdo with these big fails from Etsy.

I was searching for fitness gear on etsy and saw a staggering number of options for tank tops and workout shirts with text on the tits. T-shirts with slogans on them usually make me roll my eyes. They remind me of angry high schoolers who buy shirts at the mall that say “clowns ate my penguins but you are a conformist” or whatever. These aren’t like that, but they’re bad in a different way, really bad. Some are sexist, some make little sense, some are insulting, and some are just thinspo and fitspo crudely silk screened on a flimsy piece of fabric. They are all awful. That being said, even though I hate these shirts, I’d still rather people buy them than say, tacky ugly shirts from Abercrombie & Fitch or something. At least these Etsy dealers are people.

Let’s start with sexist fails, then move on to the fitspo and thinspo…

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    • Fabel

      Whaaaat, I get the double entendre with “rack”, but what is the other meaning of “snatch”? Does the shirt even go as far as having a double meaning, or is it literally just “snatch”. Because…that’s terrible

      • Joanna Rafael

        I think the snatch is a lifting move! Thank goodness, but still.

      • Fabel

        OOH okay, that’s how much of a gym noob I am ;) (& yes, thank god)

      • Fuzzy ‘n Broken Mirror

        You’ll also enjoy the “jerk” and the “doggie style”

      • Imalia

        Where I live, snatch is also slang for va-jay-jay.

    • korie

      These are pretty lame, but frankly I think they say more about the person who chooses to buy/wear them than the maker. I can understand writing an article about marketing sexist/demeaning slogans for childrens’ clothing, but the fact that there is a market for this on Etsy, well, there are a lot of women out there who have the wrong idea about working out and some shop owners found a lucrative market.

      • Joanna Rafael

        I mention in the post that I hope the etsy sellers get business even if they are selling t-shirts with whack slogans.

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      A couple of them were a bit sexist/demeaning, but having sparkling letters, or mention of sweat really isn’t bad.

    • DaJon

      I love to workout and im the boss at work….I think these shirts are hott!!

    • CW

      Are you sure the first one isn’t supposed to be innuendo? As in “I don’t do squats at the gym but in the bedroom”?

      • Elizabeth

        I think it’s referring to the myth that squats are the magical fairy portal to a perfect ass.

    • mn

      I a shirt for my son that said Your Workout is my Warmup. He wore it all the time, until he outgrew it. It was perfect for him – he is a swimmer and I can honestly say that the swimmer warm-up is a full workout for almost every other sport. It’s insane. So I can get behind that shirt completely.
      The rest of them are just ridiculous.

    • ktz

      As a martial artist I kinda like the “I bust mine so I can kick yours”. I work out to feel good and be healthy, but I also work out because it makes me a better fighter. Nothing wrong with that.

      • Pumplestilskin

        We bust ours so we we can kick yours is on the back of my son’s youth wrestling team tee shirts. These little boys are so funny trying to be hard anyway bit then with those shirts,well, it amuses me

    • 21foothouse

      I want one that says “I’m horizontal running” but it should probably be printed on sideways…

      • Joanna Rafael

        You should make one!

    • evilstepmom

      My favorite workout shirt: Exercise, Some Motivation Required

    • Muggle

      Ugh, can I tell you all about how much I HATE workout clothes that are for brides/bridesmaids? I hate them so much. Bridesmaids are PEOPLE, not personal dolls you can mold into perfect beings for a day. You can make them wear the same dress, that’s about it.

      And if you’re fat and/or out of shape and you get engaged, why try and lose weight just for the wedding? Clearly your guy loves you no matter how fat and/or out of shape you are.

    • AugustW

      Hell, I have 5 über geeky shirts I wear to the gym. Three Doctor Who shirts, one Firefly shirt, and one chemistry joke shirt.
      I’m not there to lose weight for a guy, or to find a guy, or for any reason other than because I want to be healthier. Fuck that noise.

    • JackCuntsler

      What a sad state American women have devolved into. They have it so great they spend all of their free time inventing things to be offended about.

      What an insult to the truly oppressed women in the world.

    • Alyson Melody

      Sisterly similarities: I also work out in old band shirts. My T-Rex shirt and Grateful Dead shirt are the best.

    • mel

      Just an FYI, The “Shopping Is My Cardio” is actually a quote from Sex and the City.