HBO’s Girls is coming back very soon. The third season of Lena Dunham’s much-tweeted about dramedy brainchild begins with back-to-back episodes this Sunday at 10 p.m. EST on HBO., so get ready for most of your internet content to be GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS and not in a strip club way.
They may not have their shit together in any way shape or form, but do any of us? Yes, some of us do. Regardless of our own ability to care for ourselves, we can still learn from the trials and tribulations of the four twenty-something characters that no one can stop blogging about.
Here are health lessons we can learn from the Girls on HBO’s Girls:
- Do not eat pastries in the bathroom
- Be careful with Opium tea, you may act like a jerk to your parents
- Get tested for STDs even if you do use condoms
- Take diagnoses like HPV like a woman. All adventurous women do
- If you’re going to pass out and get robbed on a train, leftover wedding cake can make a great breakfast
- Don’t do cocaine for the sake of a good story
- Be careful with what you put in your body, including both penises and Q-tips
- Get help for mental health issues like OCD
- Find out how old someone is before you sleep with them
- The workplace is not an appropriate venue for masturbation
- Cake can make excellent foreplay
- Remember to take care of yourself even when you’re on a shitty streak.
- Don’t let people snark on you for losing weight when stressed, not your alleged BFF or your mom.
- Being a virgin ain’t no thing
- Don’t smoke crack and take your skirt off
- Keep up with the Ballet Barre or any workout regimen
- Break up with someone if it’s what’s best for you
- Wear condoms when hooking up with doormen
- Show up to your own abortion party, even if you aren’t pregnant
- Practice safe sex with guys you hook up with at bars
- Keep up with sobriety
- Let people know of your whereabouts
Whatever shenanigans the girls of Girls get into this season, I’m sure we’ll be able to learn more lessons on how to grow up and not act like them.