• Fri, Jan 17 - 2:30 pm ET

Digital Cryptozoological Erotica Is A Surprisingly Lucrative Gig

bigfootThe Chupacabra and the Jersey Devil sitting in a tree…

We should all quit our jobs and start writing cryptozoological erotica. Apparently writing sexy novellas about monsters getting it on can earn you $30,000 a month.

E-books in this genre are deliberately campy and people are loving it. One of the most popular is the Moan for Bigfoot series (there are 16 fucking installments) which has been downloaded over 100,000 times.

Cryptozoological erotica is obviously not a serious burgeoning literary scene. We aren’t going to find the next great American novel by searching for e-books about squirting mermaids or horny gremlins. We’re not even talking about Twilight caliber stuff. As Time puts it “the prose is, as you may have guessed, more or less uniformly ridiculous.”

Check out some of the absurd (and already e-published) titles from the genre (my favorite is emboldened):

  • Seduced By the Ape Men
  • The Monster in Her Panties
  • Yielding to the Merman
  • Punished By the Centaur
  • Savaged By the Swamp Creature
  • Taken By the Pterodactyl
  • Sex With My Husband’s Anatomically Correct Robot
  • Bigfoot Did Me From Behind and I Liked It

Those titles inspired me to come up with my own titles for my own future erotic novels. Try not to steal any of the following ideas from me:

  • I Got Wet With The Loch Ness Monster
  • Diddling the Riddling Sphinx 
  • Penetrated By the Unicorn
  • Jacked-Off By the Jackalope 
  • Petting The Yeti
  • Your Clit Is My Command: The Genie Rubs Back
  • Sorcerer? I Hardly Know Her
  • Gang Banged By The Lizard People
  • We Did The Mash: Graveyard Smashing

I’m left wondering if people are reading this stuff as a goof or if they’re actually aroused by titillating descriptions of fiji mermaid tits?

Via Time// Image via Shutterstock

Share This Post:
  • Julia Sonenshein

    Sorcerer? I Hardly Know her made me cry with happiness.

    • Joanna Rafael

      The sexual female protagonist will be named for you.

  • Lane Ryan

    Another real title: Dino-Myte: Interracial Adventures from the Dinosaur’s Boneyard

    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HNJ9H9Q

    You can’t make this stuff up.