• Thu, Jan 30 - 12:15 pm ET

5 Reasons You Suck At Showering

how to take a showerHave you been showering all on your own like a big kid for ages? Perhaps you think you know what you’re doing, but you’re so very wrong. You’ve been showering like an idiot. Basically, the way you shower is turning your soft human skin into the dry scales of a crocodile. The only way to change your ways is to accept what you’ve been doing wrong.

The good people at The Huffington Post talked to two medical professionals, Dr. Heather Woolery-Lloyd (co-founder of Specific Beauty skincare,) and Dr. Heidi Waldorf (the director of laser and cosmetic dermatology at Mount Sinai Medical Center) about how shitty everyone is at showering and in what ways they are screwing up their showers. Apparently, very common shower practices are actually skin-ruining mistakes.

Here are 5 reasons you suck at showering:

1) You like it hot, steamy and long- A hot shower feels luxurious and you think you deserve to bask in the warmth and comfort of a piping hot shower, but your hubris is both wasteful and ruining your skin. Hot water steals your skin’s natural oils and exacerbates issues like eczema, and general itching and dryness.

Don’t switch to ice cold showers just yet, instead try for tepid temperatures. According to Dr. Waldorf, an ice cold shower won’t benefit your skin unless you are a “person who flushes from warm water. The cold will help to close the vessels that become dilated with heat.”

The doctors recommend you truncate the duration of your showers because the longer you’re in there, the dryer you get.

2) You like bubbles- Cleansers that lather up all bubbly contain an ingredient called  Surfactants which team up with your hot water and “are able to bind oil and remove these natural oils from our skin” furthering your rapid transformation into a reptoid.

Dr. Woolery-Lloyd tells her patients that come in complaining about their reptilian-humanoid flesh to switch to gentler cleansers. They may not coat your skin in cascades of sumptuous bubbles, but simpler body wash products live Dove bars “strip fewer lipids and proteins from the skin and leave the skin better hydrated than most others.”

Skipping the soapy lather won’t leave you filthy. Dr. Waldorf says that “Unless you have a specific dermatologic need, there is no reason to use an antibacterial wash in bar or liquid form for your skin on a daily basis.”

3) You can’t even rinse yourself right- And it’s making your lizard skin problem worse. Unless you’re using a gentle cleanser specifically engineered “to not be rinsed completely because they contain additional moisturizers to help restore the skin barrier after cleansing,” the filmy residue of that harsh body wash that you failed to slough off your skin during your excessively long boiling shower is prone to causing irritation and dryness.

4) You do stuff in the wrong order- Specifically, you are probably using a mask after your shower instead of before. Washing your face before you put a mask on and then after to remove the mask is excessively drying. Take it from the doctor: ”Anything you apply after a shower will be more rapidly absorbed, so you may get more irritation. The most important after-shower product is something hydrating and occlusive to add back and seal in moisture.”

5) You’re too hard on your skin- When you dry off with a towel, you are basically rubbing the rough side of velcro on your flesh and making your dry skin even worse. The doctors advice patting yourself down rather than violently chafing it and “Immediately applying a lotion or cream moisturizer to arms, legs and any other body parts that tend toward dryness”… or else.

Have you been fucking your showers up big time? Do you plan on changing or are you just going to accept your fate as a lizard-human hybrid?

via Huffington Post//Image via Shutterstock

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  • Mick

    “Have you been fucking your showers up big time?” haha whoa! didn’t expect that F-bomb.

    • Joanna Rafael

      Did you drop your monocle?

    • Julia Sonenshein

      But I WAS expecting this post to be THE bomb, AND IT WAS!

    • Mick

      haha totes! i’m not saying i didnt like the f-bomb; in fact, i wholeheartedly support it! it just caught me a little off guard.

  • elle

    Yes, I have been fucking up my showers big time. But until I get super dry lizard skin I’m not gonna worry about it! I do take a weekly bath with coconut oil….I’m gonna pretend that makes up for the rest of the week.

  • http://www.defensesoap.com/ defensesoap.com

    <!–td {border: 1px solid #ccc;}br {mso-data-placement:same-cell;}–Thanks for sharing… Warm water and the best antibacterial skin soap that is suitable for my skin are the essential part of my shower to be comfortable without drying out the skin.