My least favorite celebrity chef and human-corndog, Guy Fieri, is introducing a line of “Kraft Kocktails” to his chain of seven Johnny Garlic’s restaurant. The Kardashians are probably pissed that they didn’t kopyright the name “Kraft Kocktails” before Fieri got his garlicky little mitts on it. Kan anyone explain to me why people feel the kneed to throw shade at the letter C? It’s not kute.
Anyway, back to the drinks. According to GrubStreet, the Kocktails will be sweetened with agave nectar, probably because Guy Fieri is such a health nut. Among the Kocktails are the “Cherry Juice Box” and the “21st Birthday Mary” which is $14 and inexplicably comes with a fried-egg-bacon-Cheddar-burger on a stick as garnish.
I love cocktails, but I’ll never drink a kocktail. Guy Fieri is one of those famous people that makes my blood boil because I hate his face and his affect and his tacky magician outfits. If you ever sample one if his kocktails, let me know how it is.
via GrubStreet//image via Getty