Meet Stella Ralfini. She’s a 67-year-old grandmother/tantra teacher/couples counselor/loverÂ who puts sperm on her face as an anti-aging treatment and proposes you do the same.Â This kind of story is exactly why I’m so happyÂ The Daily MailÂ is a thing.Â Â I’m obsessed with her.Â
If you can stop what you’re doing and watch this mesmerizingly strange video, I highly suggest it:
Isn’t she just the best kind of freaky-deaky? Ralfini is not the first person to believe penises are basically fountains of youth. Remember when Heather Locklear suggested “you just put semen on your face?” It’s not just one Hollywood weirdo on board with this sperm facial thing; a few somewhat legitimate sources are kind of on the bandwagon. There’s even aÂ Norwegian company called Bioforskning thatÂ sellsÂ sperm for faces.Â The Daily MailÂ also points to aÂ NY magazineÂ article claiming that “human sperm is a powerful anti-oxidant that is said to diminish wrinkles and smooth the skin”Â and quotesÂ dermatologist Dr. Oscar Hevia who toldÂ HollywoodLife.comÂ that,
“Semen contains proteolytic enzymes, which are designed to break down proteins. In theory, if applied to the skin, these enzymes could help to break down the uneven and thickened dead layer of older, sun-damaged skin. This could make the skin feel smoother.”
Whether or not shmearing semen on your mug on the daily is a useful skin treatment is kind of irrelevant. It’s a weird thing to do and funny thing to talk about even if it could possibly work. Despite those claims that sperm can benefit skin, a sperm facial sounds kind of imaginary, like someone told her once that a load of sperm to the face works wonders and she just believed it. Which is actually what happened. Ralfini writes,
“I came across one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. She told me she was in her late sixties but looked much younger…Her secret was that she used a face mask made from her husband’s sperm.”
So she started using sperm as a skincare treatment and the rest is legend!
If you’re interested in trying this very special facial yourself, here are Ralfini’s tremendously strange instructions:
“All you need is a lover but if you don’t have one, you know what to do. All you need to do is, every ten days or two weeks, just both have a good time, make sure he has a good time, and when your beautiful love-making session is over, you are going to scoop this amazing sperm mask up in your fingers, put it on your face, leave it for fifteen minutes and wash it off.”
There you have it. Go forth and rub cum on your face…or don’t, but definitely tell me about it if you do.