9 Reasons Why Sex Doesn’t Really Count As Exercise

sex exerciseMiranda Kerr told the GQ that one of the secrets behind her model bod is frequent sex and since she and Orlando Bloom broke things off, she hasn’t been having as much of it.

‘One thing I’ve noticed is now that I’m having less sex my body isn’t as toned…The more sex I have, the more defined my arms and stomach get.’

I’m not going to dispute that there are indeed health benefits to exercise because there undeniably are, but I think they’re typically over inflated. I remember old issues of lady magazines and the undersides of Snapple caps telling me that sex burns 200 calories or 600 calories or works a million muscle groups and turns back the hands of time. Please. Even if sex was a magical fitness activity, no two occurrences of sexual intercourse are the same and it’d be impossible to regiment it for maximum benefits. Regardless of sex’s potential cardiovascular benefits, it seems like trying to squeeze a workout in is just about the worst reason to have sex.

Here are 9 reasons why sexercise isn’t exercise:

  1. You can’t really burn a sufficient number of calories. It would take forever to burn a ton of calories by engaging in sexual intercourse. It’s not as efficient as an aerobics class, swim or bike ride.
  2. It’s easy to cheat and be lazy. Almost too easy to just lay back and take it.
  3. Sex shouldn’t really be about working on your fitness. You must have better reasons to do the deed than working on your delt definition.
  4. Your head won’t be in it. You can’t focus on exercise and doing it at once. You’ll be half assing both activities.
  5. Sex isn’t consistent like a gym routine. And if it is, you and your partner could probably switch it up.
  6. You’re dependent on your partner. What if they aren’t around? What if they finish really before you reach your target heart rate? Does anyone know how many calories you could burn masturbating? Fewer or more than sex?
  7. You can’t do it whenever or wherever you want. Social norms dictate when sex is okay. There are far more locations where it is appropriate to do squats or jog in place.
  8. You don’t get to wear your cool workout clothes. Those Lululemon yoga pants were a waste of money if you’re going to exercise in the buff.
  9. You can’t focus on yourself and be completely selfish. Part of the point of exercise is that you can be meditative and think solely about your body.

H/T Daily Mail/Image via Shutterstock

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    • Kaitlin Reilly

      I’m so sure that the only toning exercise Miranda Kerr was getting was from sex with Orlando Bloom. And ha! #5! :)

    • Lindsey Conklin

      yeah I thought that was a strange quote from her

      • Kaitlin Reilly

        Right?! Were they really having so much ab-defining sex right up until they decided to divorce? Can you really get THAT toned?! Oh Miranda.

    • HB

      I think she says a lot of stuff like that just to get attention, to be honest.
      Also for some reason, reading all these reasons gave me a lot of anxiety.
      But maybe– and this makes a little more sense, I think– she’s saying if she knows she is going to be naked and doing it, she eats lighter and works out more? I don’t know. I don’t really get her.